Are you Poly?

[JustAskJulie]

We've seen a couple of posts already from some folks coming out with their "polyness". I'd like to hear from the rest of you who feel that you are are polyamorous. What is your relationship set up? Are you currently in a poly relationship, were you previously, or are you hoping to be?

[intuition897]

Is there a poll out there somewhere on this already? I'm thinking there probably is...

Mr. intuition and I, while we're not currently swinging and not in a poly relationship, have agreed that we are very open-minded about it. At least we are open to the possibility of it. I want him to be happy, and he wants the same for me. There is no sense of ownership between us whatsoever. We're together because we choose to be, because we want to be. For no other reason. He has told me in no uncertain terms that if I ever wanted to develop another relationship, that he was perfectly okay with that...so long as I respected him by never lying to him about my needs and desires. He, of course, insists on complete honesty and expects me to be able to manage any other relationships in such a way as to not adversely affect the one that he and I share. I have reciprocated with the same deal for him.

I truly feel that I would not be jealous or unhappy should Mr. intuition find another person to add to his life. Quite the contrary, in fact. Anything that adds to his happiness adds to mine.

However, we've both decided together and as individuals that neither of us are interested in expending energy in that direction. We'd rather just work on the relationship we're in together for now.

So you tell us...are we poly?

[MoonLightKiss]

Mr. Moon and I have talked about this, since here recently its been a topic discussed regularly. We are not totally against it. In fact, it seems to have good points to it.

At this time though we also feel we are too new to swinging, and we are just getting used to screening people online, and having fun experiences involving just sex, maybe friendship. So for us to take another leap right now and evolve that into a relationship seems a bit much for us to just jump into right now. We are just getting ourselves into the pool and we are not quite ready for the high dive. But, one day, in the future is this something we would discuss? Probably, so until that day, I will simply admire all those who are capable of poly right now

[Menage_a_Trois]

Originally Posted by intuition897

Is there a poll out there somewhere on this already? I'm thinking there probably is...

The only things I could find are the following two links:

What terminology do use to describe yourself?

What is your ideal swinging outcome?

Hope that helps.

[JustAskJulie]

I'm sure there are polls but I wanted to get actual posts from people who are actively involved in living a poly life (or have done so or are considering doing so) and see what their experiences are. I thought it would be a positive addition and a good way to start this new forum.

[avid]

I'm getting the feeling that people are a little shy about this! I was worried too about whether there would be judgement heaped on me and my partners. On the contrary, I've found that this place is incredibly understanding and supportive.

Now, I don't want to keep posting about myself and our experiences with this new life, because I'd hate to suck all the oxygen out of the (virtual) room.

I've suggested that my husband join the board, which I'm hoping he's going to do. I believe my partner has joined, but he hasn't logged on since the day he joined. I don't think message boards are his thing.

I'd love to see this room become a dynamic place for thoughtful discussion.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by avid

I'm getting the feeling that people are a little shy about this! I was worried too about whether there would be judgement heaped on me and my partners. On the contrary, I've found that this place is incredibly understanding and supportive.

Now, I don't want to keep posting about myself and our experiences with this new life, because I'd hate to suck all the oxygen out of the (virtual) room.

I've suggested that my husband join the board, which I'm hoping he's going to do. I believe my partner has joined, but he hasn't logged on since the day he joined. I don't think message boards are his thing.

I'd love to see this room become a dynamic place for thoughtful discussion.

Hopefully it will be, but it's really up to you and others who are poly to make that happen. So if you have something to post please post away and hopefully others will follow.

[StacyCat]

Hi, im Stacy and i am poly :-)

Polyfuckery tends to be where I lie, I like my long term relationships, but if I meet someone and want to fuck them then and there, I want to be able to do that. I tend to form quick emotional attachments during and after sex, and need a little emotion in my sex, which is why I have dropped out of the local swinging scene.

I am still interested in swinging, if my partners are into it, one is not allowed to do it, but the other might be up for it. If I have the emotional part taken care of, I can do more of the fun swinging stuff.

[KittKatt]

hi everybody,

first thank you for making this a place we "all" feel welcome

I am Carla, hubby is Tony, and yes we are poly. We are very new still as some may say....in the dating stages...

But, recently we met a wonderful man, a writer and editor for a newspaper at that, so sweet.....well we told everything upfront before we even met, spoke for 3 days, then finally we meet, we all click. He stayed a few diferant nights with us and was as giddy happy as we was. he to is legally married on paper for the last several years due to issues of the wife not wanting the courts to screw him. so they are more like bro and sis, as he put it. his wife had a boyfriend of her own that he also gets along with. only problem, the boyfriend of his wife moved to vegas. so now she comutes back and forth to vegas sometimes with their daughter sometimes he gets her.

What was so amazing to me is that at least with this man, i actually felt that special warmth, connection that i also feel with Tony, blew my mind....and as he stated he was overwhelmed. he suddenly realized that to be close to his sweet child, vegas has to be a choice he will have to make. so he has left our "dream" for now, and we can only be understanding as to why.

My heart actually aches for his presence, his voice, and everything just as it does whith my sweet husband. but the memories however short are some of the best i have and shall never forget, playing in bed for 30 minutes with our 5 yr old just tickling her and laughing, so much fun.

So yes we got started and only for it to have to end so soon, but if that wondeful feeling of all that much more love and extended family is possible, our search continues.....as i cry.

We are also looking for a special lady and may have one now, still in the comunication process, but as the saying goes, its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved.

My husband and I are soul mates and so in love, we have our ups and downs like every other couple alive, but this is something we both look so forward to having and sharing with our children.

much love
xoxo TnC

[JP51]

As we have posted before we do have a poly relationship with another couple...so we are on board...so to speak. In our relationship is seems that the four of us share many things in common, but the intrest is more in sets of 3s which keeps things intresting all the time. As and example, (male here) I and he cook as does my prime, I ride and work with horses as does my prime and (his) wife...he and I love to hunt, fish, so there is guy time...he, I and my prime scuba dive...we all spend time with the kids, doing the playing games, teaching, extended family stuff. We are all going to Desire for vacation in Oct. Do we have a "love" relationship, yep...

Glad this part of the fourm got kicked off.

[dozzydolly]

Hi everyone. I often call myself a poly minded slut. About six years ago my husband and I opened our marriage and have explored a couple of outside relationships since then. For a while (about two years) we were exclusively involved with one other couple. Sadly, the intimate (emotional as well as physical) nature of that quad ended because it was no longer working in a positive way. Now, what we hope for in a relationship would probably fall right in the middle of the swinger to poly spectrum. Due to our lifestyle I've seen and experienced a lot of joy, love, excitement, pain and complication. I believe in balance and am working on finding the right way to deal with the competing forces that arise in our life. I know there are lots of you like me out there and am looking forward to participating in this discussion.

[sereneiders]

Originally Posted by intuition897

Is there a poll out there somewhere on this already? I'm thinking there probably is...

Mr. intuition and I, while we're not currently swinging and not in a poly relationship, have agreed that we are very open-minded about it. At least we are open to the possibility of it. I want him to be happy, and he wants the same for me. There is no sense of ownership between us whatsoever. We're together because we choose to be, because we want to be. For no other reason. He has told me in no uncertain terms that if I ever wanted to develop another relationship, that he was perfectly okay with that...so long as I respected him by never lying to him about my needs and desires. He, of course, insists on complete honesty and expects me to be able to manage any other relationships in such a way as to not adversely affect the one that he and I share. I have reciprocated with the same deal for him.

I truly feel that I would not be jealous or unhappy should Mr. intuition find another person to add to his life. Quite the contrary, in fact. Anything that adds to his happiness adds to mine.

However, we've both decided together and as individuals that neither of us are interested in expending energy in that direction. We'd rather just work on the relationship we're in together for now.

So you tell us...are we poly?

Well, this is EXACTLY what happend to us. Moreover, we talk about this "permission" to develop other relationships way long before swinging (from the very begining of our relationship), and even when we didn't tought we could swing (I wanted, she say "no", I honored and never insisted until she bring up the subject again... 10 years after I asked her to).

Even when we had this permission, none of us was interested in "expending energy in that direction", and at least for me, I have to admit it... I wasn't sure about how something like this would evolve, and the sole chace of hurting my wife feelings, even by accident, was dissapealing enough as to prevent this from happening.

When we began swinging, the whole "no feelings" rule we were adviced to follow didn't make too much sense for us. We understood it was a requirement for other couples to preserve their relationship while swinging, and honored this requirement... until we found out people more alike to our perspective about this.

Our relationship with our former "girlfirend" started in the frameset of swinging, however the three of us feel and tought much the same way about this "no feelings allowed" restriction. The three of us really enjoyed beyng togheter, even enjoyed activities between just two of us, it evolved as a friendship, and it reached a point where we all say "what the hell, why not call it the way we feel this deserve to be called? why don't use the words whe had stuck in our thoats because of those foreign, imposed rules, even when they're usefull and work for others?", and we began talking about love.

So it wasn't something we pursued, but something we let it happen.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by dozzydolly

Hi everyone. I often call myself a poly minded slut.

Hey, dozzydolly, Welcome to the Board!

[KenRachel]

Hi Rachel here,

We've had 2 ongoing relationships. One that Ken is in is definitely poly. He and she both love one another.

The other relationship is an ex-boyfriend of mine. No love there, but good friendship.

In addition we've both had "just plain sex" encounters.

[Mistral Wind]

Polamory? Does that mean having sex with a parrot?