Swinging vs. Polyamory, definitions?

[Tybee Swing]

I recently read this definition of Polyamory, as it compares to swinging:

Are Polyamorists "Swingers"?
Polyamorists vary a great deal in their attitudes toward casual or recreational sex. Some approve; some (particularly Polyfidelitous relationships) do not. In any case, polyamory is about stable intimate, emotionally committed relationships rather than casual sex. Swinging is defined as recreational sexual activity, also called "sport sex" where partner(s) or participant(s) agree to have casual sex with each other(s). There is usually no emotional involvement. Swingers generally practice recreational sex activities without the development of love, affection or personal intimacy. With polyamory, there is no such restriction, and the intent is to allow such emotional intimacy to exist, develop, and grow between the people involved... The Polyamory and Swing communities are allies under the alternative lifestyles banner. Many swingers have transitioned to Polyamory through their desire to be emotionally committed in a multipartnered relationship.

Q: Do you agree or disagree with this entire statement? Are there portions of this that you disagree with, or would rephrase? If so, please elaborate.

Q: If you were trying to come up with one brief term to incorporate all of the following: swinging casually, swinging with friends, swinging only with very close friends, polyamory, open marriages, and non-monogamy --- what term do you think would fit the best, overall?

Q: Do polyamorists who only love their mate and perhaps one or two other people, and engage in no other external sexual activities, consider themselves "in the Lifestyle"? My information is that they do not. This is why I'm thinking that "Lifestyle" won't be an overall phrase to use for all of the above, including for certain other non-monogamists.

Thanks for all input!!!

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Swinging is defined as recreational sexual activity, also called "sport sex" where partner(s) or participant(s) agree to have casual sex with each other(s). There is usually no emotional involvement. Swingers generally practice recreational sex activities without the development of love, affection or personal intimacy.

This portion, I feel, is a bit too limiting in the definition of swinging. I feel that there are many grey areas that can be called Swinging, between "sport" f-ing with no emotional involvement, and being emotionally involved with play partners. There are warm friendships and affection in swinging, too. Swing isn't necessarily entirely just casual sport and recreation. It's also not polyamory. It could be in between. (I feel that all of these shades of the Lifestyle are fine, and personal choices.)

Did anyone else find this portion of the definition of swinging too rigid??

[lovedoctor]

I would think that some swingers are polyamorists and some polyamorists are swingers but not all of one category are inclusive or exclusive from the other. (Sounds like you need a Venn diagram...)

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

There is usually no emotional involvement.

I would say instead: There is usually little emotional involvement beyond friendship, in most cases of swingers.

Polyamorists and Swingers are both members of "the Lifestyle" would probably be a correct interpretation. It depends on whether you are a lumper or a splitter, LOL

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by lovedoctor

Polyamorists and Swingers are both members of "the Lifestyle" would probably be a correct interpretation. It depends on whether you are a lumper or a splitter, LOL

LOL!! love that - lumper or splitter. Personally, I'm more of a lumper!
Thanks for your thoughtful answers.

Still, "The Lifestyle" as a general category over all those I listed - does that include non-monogamists across the board?

[sereneiders]

I'd say the definition is rather strict, too much for what happens to us in the every day basis.

I'd say swingers intends to avoid developing feelings with their sexual partners besides the attached one, as a way to protect the attached one feelings, should these feelings require a degree of exclusivity for the couple to remain togheter and healty.

I'd say strict polyamorists would seeks for developing feelings among people from a close group, perhaps even before engagin in any sexual relationship, much like monogamous people develop feelings in a relationship before having sex.

And I'd say non strict polyamorists dones not care about the feelings that could be developed for these sexual partners and may be up to encourage these feelings once they appear.

I believe we fall in the last category: we had a polyamoral relationship with another woman which lasted almost a year (we're still very close friends), and we also were swingers, meaning the three of us engaged in recreational sex with other people, and we also had an open relationship, meanin we (the original couple) and she engaged in recreational sex with other people without being the three of us togheter.

There are shades of gray, of course, and these have to do with the rules every person and couple may have. For example, as a couple we like to be with others togheter (theoretically we're open, we have to right to be alone with a partner, but in practive we didn't and, at least for me, I preffer to avoid doing so as to share the experiences with my wife), but one of the things that defined the relationship as polyamoral was the fact that we all had the right to engage in ANY activity with anyone else without requiring the third one to be present, and this included sex, of course, but also go out for a dinner or to do shopping or to talk about everithing in a coffee table, or cooking a special dinner, or sleep togheter, i.e. those things reseved for the couple intimacy in any other case.

[imsnowman]

Like nearly every activity, process, or definition Swinging vs. polyamory runs on a bell curve. Some very strict one way or the other but most afre some where on a continuum.

[sexyshelby]

I think LoveDoctor said it best.

People can be both swingers and poly, but one does not necissarily imply the other.

For me, when I think of "Lifestyle" I think of swinging NOT of poly relationships. Maybe it's just me... But then again, this depends on how you definte "lifestyle".

So, I say, do what you want, with whom you want, make sure no one gets hurt, have fun and call it whatever you want!

~SS

[Tybee Swing]

Thank you for all the thoughtful answers!