Is wanting more asking too much?

All four of us are having feelings towards each other that goes beyond the (just sex)The first time we met it was like it was a ment to be thing everything just clicked.They have always been able to keep it as just sex but are having feelings that are confusing and new to them.They have told us that they have never felt as comfortable with any other couple.We being first timers believe we have hit the jackpot with this couple.Is it the ultimate to find a couple that you can open up to in more than a sexual way?We believe it would be perfect to have,sensuality and an extremely close bond.Is this asking to much? Although nothing could ever come between our marriage,we feel as if we are almost loveing these people.Is this common? Don't give us the first timers speech, as the other couple are feeling the same.Whats up with all four of us?

[JustAskJulie]

While there are plenty of couples out there only looking for sexual relationships in through swinging, there are probably just as many or more who are looking for more than that. Another couple or person who they can establish a real close friendship with (bond) that they can feel comfortable talking about anything.

There is also another part of the lifestyle (many people see it as a totally different thing) called polyamory (I think.. having a brain fried moment).. basically meaning that you love more than one person. There are many couples who have these relationships with other couples or with singles. Check out the webrings page, I think there is a webring just for sites about polyamory.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[Stratecpl2]

I'm glad I stumbled upon this post thread. That question has been on my mind some lately too. We have 3 single males that we periodically get together with. They are friends as well as sex partners. However one in particular is special. The first time I kissed him when we got together for a threesome, I felt a "spark" it was definantly more than just sex. I took a chance and told my husband about it later. He being the open wonderful and secure guy he is was fine with it. In fact he told me that it was not uncommon to love more than one person. He knows that he's my number 0ne and always will be but the spark I feel with our single friend is nice too. The single guy has no desire to take me away nor is he looking for marriage or anything more than what we already share..intimate friendship so that makes it work for all of us. I have a husband and a boyfriend now..haha

[LIZA]

Personally I/we have never wanted a relationship with a cpl that went beyond just sex/casual friends. I guess the intimacy and closeness that we have in out marriage are things we do not want to share with another 1 or 2 people. Most of our partners have been 1 or 2 times things at swing clubs or we have met cpls from the net where we saw them a couple times and that was it. For me swinging is just about fun, having the chance to enjoy and see my husband rnjoy others and then go back to our "closed" marriage.

I do not think I could deal with the intimacy and emotional closeness developing with anyone else..................I can have sex with people, but can only be close to ONE!

[CanadianCouple]

It is said that everyone has but one true soul mate. To think of another man in any other terms except for sexual fun is something I could never do. Dan is my hubby, my friend, my lover, my only true soul mate. I could never have the feelings for another that I do for him.
Personally I think that having those kinds of feelings enter into it will at some point down the road only cause trouble and heartache.

Wife of CanadianCouple

As everyone knows who monitors these posts, I frequently add alternative ways of approaching and looking at things. That is simply my nature. Here goes again:

I think that we must always remember the essential role that sex plays. God made it to keep a couple together. (Sorry, if anyone is offended by seeing that word in this setting) But God made sex as pleasureable and as powerful as he did for very good reasons. Last week for reasons relating to our kids, I was soooo angry with my wife for two days that I could have "killed" her. But my cock overrode my anger and I initiated sex. She fucked me great! So great that I not only was no longer angry with her, I felt close to her. God made men so that we can have sex even when we feel angry or totally disconnected to the female. However, God made women so that they generally need some level of connection to their lover in order to have sex. Even the most promiscuous female need some level of interaction/connection in order to have sex. Men generally can fuck a complete stranger without exchanging a single word. If his cock is hard, he can stick it in. Women want to know something about who is attacted to the cock she desires.

That is why a woman can topically be involved with a male partner for a few interactions. But, I think you will find or have already found, that when people enjoy fucking each other over a significant period of time, there will be a strong emotional bonds that is created. Don't fight it! The emotional responses to sex is as instinctual and as natural as our physical responses of sexual arousal and climaxing.

[This message has been edited by soppo (edited 05-23-2001).]

[MiCpl]

There is another lifestyle out there called Polyamory (the love of many). Basically these are people who believe that loving more than one person at a time is not only right but normal.

In some cases Polyamory and swinging are connected as being the same, usually by people who aren't involved in either lifestyle and don't have a clue (check out some of the exposes on MTV, Playboy or HBO).
However, I think it's obvious to anyone involved in either lifestyle that they are not the same at all.

If you want to check into what Polyamory is some more and find out if maybe this is where you are heading.. you might want to check out this site...
http://polyamory.com/

[LaylaSusanne]

Please see my response post to "very upset"
It was rather long, so I don't want to go into it much here.

We were new to swinging, and the first single female we were ever with wanted more. She was actually looking for polyamory. We had never heard of it, but spent some time researching it on the net and talking to people in that lifestyle.

Our experience was not a good one, as she was not honest about her motives and wanted my husband to herself.

But we did meet several people in this lifestyle who are making it work, and are very happy. If everyone involved is feeling it, then it could be a very good thing. Just go very slow, and be sure. We felt we were drawn in, and even manipulated a bit, because we were SO new to all of it.

As for us, we have decided to keep to the swinging only, and that love, passion, etc. is only for each other. Sexual pleasure is sexual pleasure, and the spiritual and emotional connection is just for us to share with each other.

L&T