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  1. #1
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    freakyfairy80

    Default Is this considered Poly?

    Hello everyone. Love the threads and gotten some great information from them but have a question. My wife usually is the one who is on the forum but this time I thought I would seek advice.
    We have met and play with a couple who are incredible. In all aspects. From not only the sex we have but they have become our very good friends and have spent time in our home with our children and our children love them. Although there will never be any sexual activities with the children in the house, we can all still spend time together without that being an issue and still have a great time. We all have so very much in common. She (his wife) and I and my wife and him all clicked and now after some time, they have asked us to be "exclusive" with them alone. Although they said they are not jealous of us talking or going to dinner with our swinger friends, they asked us if we would be with them only.
    So my question is... Is there a difference between being exclusive and being poly. I understand there are levels of poly, so even though there is no "love" type of feelings between us, isn't this a form of being poly? And has anyone ever been in this situation before?
    Thanks for any help.

  2. #2
    Esteemed member angelkin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this considered Poly?

    I have no experience in the poly realm, but to me, this just sounds like an exclusive arrangement. Did your friends explain their request for being exclusive?
    There's time for sleep when you're dead.

  3. #3
    Better than Ice Cream two4youinswva's Avatar
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    Couple. He posts, She reads

    Default Re: Is this considered Poly?

    I'll agree with Angelkin on this.
    I am more interested in what you think of the proposition itself?
    "I need a quickie"
    "That happens to be my specialty!"

  4. #4
    Swingers Board Addict km34's Avatar
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    km34

    Default Re: Is this considered Poly?

    Poly tends to be defined by the romantic feelings, although some people would include FWBs and such in with it too it isn't the normal definition.

    I know a lot of swingers who tend to find exclusive situations just so the STI risk would be a little less, and that has nothing to do with poly so I don't think exclusivity would change the label on the relationship.

    Are you interested in a poly relationship? Do either you or your wife feel more than friendly/sexual feelings towards either of the people? If you're concerned about their expectations of the arrangement (whether it would be more a romantic relationship - i.e. poly - or remaining friendly and sexual - i.e. swinging), then you should just sit down and talk to them about it to make sure you're all on the same page about any changes that would come about because of it.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Is this considered Poly?

    That sounds very much like the relationship we've had with our FWBs for the past year. It isn't a poly relationship by strict definition of the term (no romance) and it isn't swinging by strict definition of the term either (because we have been exclusive and have grown to care very much for each other as best friends). I guess it is some undefined middle ground. But whatever it is it works for us and has been awesome. We've had more fun this past year than we've ever had...both in and out of the bedroom. Dinners out, barbecues, camp fires, hottub nights, skiing, hiking, movies, parties and dancing, just hanging out and laughing, and this summer and fall we have trips planned. And our play times are the stuff of fantasies. It really has been an incredible year. I don't know if I have the answers to any questions you might have, but I'm happy to discuss more if you want to.

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