Poll: Are You Willing to go Bareback?

[shy_tn_gal]

Hubby and I have worked in health care for most of our adult lives. I spent about 5 years working on a National Institutes of Health GYN research project studying HPV human papilloma virus) and other STDs, including HIV/AIDS

HPV is very common - do the research - google Human Papilloma Virus. You'll find out more than you wanted to know.

According to the Centers for Disease control, Approximately 20 million Americans are currently infected with HPV, and another 6.2 million people become newly infected each year. At least 50% of sexually active men and women acquire genital HPV infection at some point in their lives. There are over 40 types of the virus.
Most people with HPV do not develop symptoms or health problems. But sometimes, certain types of HPV can cause genital warts in men and women. Other HPV types can cause cervical cancer and other less common cancers, such as cancers of the vulva, vagina, anus, and penis. The types of HPV that can cause genital warts are not the same as the types that can cause cancer.

HPV types are often referred to as “low-risk” (wart-causing) or “high-risk” (cancer-causing), based on whether they put a person at risk for cancer. In 90% of cases, the body’s immune system clears the HPV infection naturally within two years. This is true of both high-risk and low-risk types.

Now, that being said, the 'bad' current stats are:

Genital warts. About 1% of sexually active adults in the U.S. have genital warts at any one time.

Cervical cancer. The American Cancer Society estimates that in 2008, 11,070 women will be diagnosed with cervical cancer in the U.S.

Other HPV-related cancers are much less common than cervical cancer. The American Cancer Society estimates that in 2008, there will be:

3,460 women diagnosed with vulvar cancer;
2,210 women diagnosed with vaginal and other female genital cancers;
1,250 men diagnosed with penile and other male genital cancers; and
3,050 women and 2,020 men diagnosed with anal cancer.
Certain populations may be at higher risk for HPV-related cancers, such as gay and bisexual men, and individuals with weak immune systems (including those who have HIV/AIDS).


All of that being said... and considering all of the other STDs out there, we still will play bareback occasionally, if the circumstances are right. We prefer test results... but have been known to use our own judgement on a person simply by talking and getting to know them for a while.

We are both tested often.

[Chris&Amelia]

We haven't played bareback in years, but we're not opposed to the concept.

Essentially it boils down to comfort and trust. We're not going to play bareback with some random couple we met at a Meet & Greet or somebody we met on SLS on a first (or second) date. Do we really know them? Do we really know their history? I'm willing to bet "no".

Now, if it's a couple we know fairly well, who we trust, then bareback is a definite possibility if everybody's in agreement.

[Jim&Shelley]

Our situation is varied:
We have a couple that we play with at least 2 times/month. We have known them as friends for years and have been swinging with them for several months. In this arrangement DW (Shelley) has had her tubes tied and the other guy has had a vasectomy...neither he nor Shelley like condoms and they have never used them for oral sex and only twice for IC. Myself (not fixed) and the other swing partner (female #2 is not fixed either), she uses NuvaRing...so I always wear a condom with IC;however she no longer has me wear one for oral, although she did in the begining.

We have also swung with 3 other couples...I have always worn condom for IC because I just prefer saftey. One wife requested I also wear one during oral sex. Shelley has always required them for IC and OS with strangers except once when they got "carried away";-)

[justdoitasu]

I'm kind of dissappointed to see so many people not protecting themselves. I cant stand condoms to be honest. I'd like to find out if there is a way for people to verify whether or not a person has been tested recently....

[Islamorada]

We usually only play with condoms...we have one "special couple" we get together with at least twice per month. We play with thim without any condoms...close friends and we know they are STD free. They have a strict condom rule with any other couple.

If a man does not want to wear a condom for OS then I do not finish him orally...period.

[BiloxiCouple]

Originally Posted by justdoitasu

I'm kind of dissappointed to see so many people not protecting themselves. I cant stand condoms to be honest. I'd like to find out if there is a way for people to verify whether or not a person has been tested recently....

Don't be disappointed. The reason for the poll and the thread is to give others information about the lifestyle so you can make a better decision for yourself.


You can't find out if people have been tested recently, medical privacy laws. And if the test is recent/old then basically it was only good on the test date for most STD's.

[MeandShe]

What do u think about the idea of Tests? I think that will make us very relaxed. My wife think discussing about such Tests with other couple will be uneasy.

[realcplub2]

Originally Posted by Islamorada

If a man does not want to wear a condom for OS then I do not finish him orally...period.

You realise of course that, with the statement you just made, it doesnt matter if he does or not, right?

The moment the man in question becomes aroused enough to get an erection, the ejaculate, is on its way..

Translation: the pre cum is just as likely to contain whatever you fear as the actual cum is

Same thing goes for a woman, its great to settle in between those legs and spend quality time giving a serious impression of a kid with an ice cream cone, but unless you are using a dental dam... Oh well

[realcplub2]

Now, allow me to clarify our position on the topic, we are a bareback couple..

In our case, my wife has a severe allergy to latex, that developed after we began into our lifestyle adventures and for the longest time we put our fun on hold for just that reason..

But, when we thought of it in terms as I answered in the previous post, it really didnt matter.. My wife enjoys oral sex, giving and receiving.. and its a true man eater in the respect that, if she has spent that time providing the pleasures with her mouth to the gentlman, she expects the payoff.. Same applies to women..

But as was so elliquently explained to us, unless you go from start to finish, using condoms, and dental dams, you are still exposing yourself to the very risks you are attempting to avoid by covering up for intercourse.

In our case, we are extremely selective in WHO we play with, alot of what we ever wanted to try, .. Its a bitch to plan a gangbang, when the fantasy was getting covered in cum, and having mouthfuls..went off the menu when the allergy developed.

So, all that having been said.. Hope the answer is sufficent

[GoNatural]

I'm willing to go bareback after I get to know a couple really well.

[GoNatural]

Originally Posted by MeandShe

What do u think about the idea of Tests? I think that will make us very relaxed. My wife think discussing about such Tests with other couple will be uneasy.

I agree with testing. In fact, in the poly world, not exchanging body fluids (even by kissing), is sometimes held off till after getting tested. This is called becoming fluid bonded, if an agreement is made to use condoms with all other non-bonded partners.

About making the other couple uneasy, it may. Some very respectable members here have stated their reasons for why they'd feel put off by requests for testing, but on the other hand, some may appreciate it. It is a toss up. They may appreciate your concern, or they may not like the idea.

I think that the way you present the question will affect their response, as well as the timing. Think it through.

Many will object that testing is insufficient, and it can be in some ways, but it is still a form of risk management that is very worthwhile. Combine that with spending time getting to the the couple and their mating habits, and statistically you will have reduced the risks greatly. Actually, I'd rather go bare with a tested couple that I've became familiar with, rather then have sex on the first date with condoms, with strangers.

[herpob]

Originally Posted by GoNatural

I agree with testing. In fact, in the poly world, not exchanging body fluids (even by kissing), is sometimes held off till after getting tested. This is called becoming fluid bonded, if an agreement is made to use condoms with all other non-bonded partners.

About making the other couple uneasy, it may. Some very respectable members here have stated their reasons for why they'd feel put off by requests for testing, but on the other hand, some may appreciate it. It is a toss up. They may appreciate your concern, or they may not like the idea.

I think that the way you present the question will affect their response, as well as the timing. Think it through.

Many will object that testing is insufficient, and it can be in some ways, but it is still a form of risk management that is very worthwhile. Combine that with spending time getting to the the couple and their mating habits, and statistically you will have reduced the risks greatly. Actually, I'd rather go bare with a tested couple that I've became familiar with, rather then have sex on the first date with condoms, with strangers.

VERY well put!!! I agree 100% - I would much rather have a guy in me without a condom! However before we developed our exclusive group condoms were the norm, sorry but you cannot trust people to be 100% forthright or accurate about their sexual past when you first meet them. Once our group begin to form we focuses on the disease issue heavily. Everyone was repeatedly tested and had to provide the results immediately for the group to review. Everyone gave theri entire sexual history for the others to review. Then the attorneys in our group drew up our covenants or by-laws. We hashed out what everyone wanted, desired, and expected. Once they were fine tuned we all signed contracts binding us legally to certain rules and behavior. Testing is a MAJOR part of it. We trust everyone in our group and we are exclusive, yet we still test regularly.

I am very sorry to hear that people in this lifestyle are not open to testing - please please please pay attention to the statistics shy_tn_ gal posted, they are VERY Real!!! You may play now and have fun but you will pay the price later and cause many others to pay as well, even your dear loved ones. Please do not be selfish, get tested regularly and if you catch something don't spread it, find alternate ways to have sex beside unprotected.

As GoNatural mentioned, how you present it to others matters - think it through and do not have unprotected sex until you know you can trust them. Honestly now, do really want body parts eaten up with cancer and rotting within mere years?

[Malachista]

Originally Posted by herpob

Everyone gave theri entire sexual history for the others to review. Then the attorneys in our group drew up our covenants or by-laws. We hashed out what everyone wanted, desired, and expected. Once they were fine tuned we all signed contracts binding us legally to certain rules and behavior.

I think this is the line were careful crosses the line to overkill

Also: How legally binding is it really? Would you really go in front of a judge with a contract about a group like that is someone would act unfitting?

[BiloxiCouple]

Originally Posted by herpob

VERY well put!!! I agree 100% - I would much rather have a guy in me without a condom! However before we developed our exclusive group condoms were the norm, sorry but you cannot trust people to be 100% forthright or accurate about their sexual past when you first meet them. Once our group begin to form we focuses on the disease issue heavily. Everyone was repeatedly tested and had to provide the results immediately for the group to review. Everyone gave theri entire sexual history for the others to review. Then the attorneys in our group drew up our covenants or by-laws. We hashed out what everyone wanted, desired, and expected. Once they were fine tuned we all signed contracts binding us legally to certain rules and behavior. Testing is a MAJOR part of it. We trust everyone in our group and we are exclusive, yet we still test regularly.
I am very sorry to hear that people in this lifestyle are not open to testing - please please please pay attention to the statistics shy_tn_ gal posted, they are VERY Real!!! You may play now and have fun but you will pay the price later and cause many others to pay as well, even your dear loved ones. Please do not be selfish, get tested regularly and if you catch something don't spread it, find alternate ways to have sex beside unprotected.

As GoNatural mentioned, how you present it to others matters - think it through and do not have unprotected sex until you know you can trust them. Honestly now, do really want body parts eaten up with cancer and rotting within mere years?

I hope this post was about 90% sarcasm or at best wishing for a perfect situation.

I did bold two statements which seem to contradict each other in the fact that one groups wants protection and yet there is still some distrust and the other group that shows trust without protection. Maybe someone else can explain these two statements better than I can???

I feel it boils to down to what level of risk management you are willing to accept.

We have beaten this horse here before And we can all take turns at it. Protection, absitenance, testing, std's and anything else I may have forgotten.

[Swingtown]

My wife and I have only had one swingers experience and I didn't wear a condom. The other gent did because my wife's not on birth control at the moment. The lovely lady I was with was 25 years old (I'm 33) and she is clean and on birth control. Frankly, I was afraid of what swinging would be like. I thought I'd get all jealous or perhaps feel super guilty, but I had the time of my life. I can't wait until we have another session. So far my wife and her friend seem to be thinking about getting together once a month. Dude....I think I'm the luckiest man alive. lol