What are your rules?

08-16-2001, 06:13 PM

We need to realize, that even if by losing a "used" condom inside the female's pussy or just outside of her pussy, there's still a chance of her becoming pregnant, and or spreading deseases may still occur, due to possible leakage?

With other males, I prefer them withdrawing soon after the "deed" is done, especially for "safety" reasons (the ones of having to wear a condom in the first place)!

With Hubby, I prefer what Dan prefers to do too, except we don't need the condom....

CyberWife

[This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 08-16-2001).]

CanadianCouple · 08-16-2001, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CyberMWCouple:
[B

With Hubby, I prefer what Dan prefers to do too, except we don't need the condom....

[/b]

Kind of like a stick of gum.

Goes in hard, comes out soft.

Dan

K2 · 09-01-2002, 08:53 AM

I would like to hear what your personal rules are for swinging. Everyone has their own set of values and they range from very strict to very liberal.

It would be great to have your input so we could perhaps think of some things that we are overlooking that we should be more concerned about.

Personally for me and my partner, here are our top rules not neccessarily in any order:

1. Both of us need to be ok with each of the other people. We have a 'secret' way of letting each other know.

2. Swinging takes place in open setting unless we have swung before and we are VERY comfortable with the other couple.

3. No condoms, No intercourse.

4. A couple of drinks or a doobie is ok. More than that is not.

dave_susie2001 · 09-01-2002, 07:15 PM

Like most couples, our "list" or rules has been drastically reduced over time. Our current rules are probably pretty permanent though.

1. No expectations. If it happens, it happens.
2. We swing together or not at all.
3. All people involved must "click" with each other.
4. Anyone/everyone has the right to say no with no reprecussions.

Ok...we could go on with the "guidelines" but these are it in a nutshell.

Cheekyimp1 · 09-01-2002, 09:48 PM

Well we haven't been in a couple to couple situation yet. But these are our general rules.
No. 1 - don't fall in love
No. 2 - no condom no sex
No. 3 - no one-on-one sex
No. 4 - no one-on-one meetings
No. 5 - he or she has to approve of the potential partner.
If the opportunity to be with another couple comes up then we will probably discuss more rules.

centralbamababy · 09-01-2002, 11:10 PM

Here's ours:

1. no expectations.
2. no glove, no love.
3. stay inside the comfort zone.
4. no means no.
5. together or not at all.
6. if the oppertunity arises that we can play seperate, the other must approve of the potential partner.

That's just us. <img border="0" alt="[fun]" title="" src="graemlins/fun.gif" />

~CentralBamaBaby <img border="0" alt="[kiss]" title="" src="graemlins/kiss1.gif" />
<img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" />

Quin · 09-02-2002, 01:18 AM

Well, believe it or not, even us single people in swinging have rules/boundries. Mine are:

No condom, no sex.</li>

Always respect the couples and their rules/boundries.</li>

Absolutely NO unescorted married males or even suspect *single* males.</li>

No drunks or dopeheads (like K2, a drink or two...okay. A joint...okay. Cocaine and other hard narcotics...NO WAY).</li>

Absolutely NO one on one (meaning just with them in a private room no one else present) with any man.</li>

And if I'm going to do a gang bang (which isn't all that frequent...maybe once, twice, three times a year), I must to hear the partner's verbal okay for the male.</li>

Of course, No means No.</li>

Out of all those the very most important to myself is the second one.
Quin
<img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" />

K2 · 09-03-2002, 08:10 PM

Gee Quin, you are busting me out as a dope fiend or something. <img border="0" alt="[sad]" title="" src="graemlins/sad.gif" /> I haven't smoked pot in years and I don't even drink. <img border="0" alt="[Blowjob]" title="" src="graemlins/bj.gif" /> Of course back in the day I was known to have my vices. Now my only vices are pretty ladies in varying degrees of nakedness.

OhioCouple · 09-03-2002, 08:22 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Quin:
[*]No drunks or dopeheads (like K2, a drink or two...okay. A joint...okay. Cocaine and other hard narcotics...NO WAY).
<hr /></blockquote>K2,

I think you misunderstood what Quin was espressing. I believe she was saying she agreed that "like you" a couple of drinks and/or a joint was okay. The heavier drugs were an absolute NO NO! At least that was the way I understood it.

Lori

K2 · 09-05-2002, 10:43 AM

Your right! I reread it and that is probably what she meant. LOL

New rule to add to my list of rules...

1a. Try and remember that what I read is not exactly what people meant to say. Too bad we can't see facial expression when people type stuff. That would take care of a lot of problems with interpreting the posts.

**Alura** · 09-05-2002, 04:56 PM

We play almost only with married couples who also play very little and never do anything that the other is unaware of. Anything is possible if we talk about it beforehand and agree to it. No single men. Single women? We've never had the opportunity to address that question.

Now, Quin? Sometimes Mr. Alura reads one of her posts and has the desire to drive to Ohio, take her in his arms, kiss her deeply and waltz her all the way across the Great Plains, ravishing her body under the stars on top of Black Mesa, (the highest point in Oklahoma)! If those damned rattlesnakes didn't live there!

Alura

***JustAskJulie*** · 09-27-2002, 02:55 PM

Another good question for all of those who have joined us recently

Perseus · 09-28-2002, 10:37 AM

Two things of note...

On herpes from <a href="http://www.ama-assn.org/special/std/support/support.htm" target="_blank">JAMA women’s health STD information center</a> :

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Genital herpes is a contagious viral infection that affects an estimated one out of four (or 45 million) Americans. Doctors estimate that as many as 500,000 new cases may occur each year. <hr /></blockquote>Also on herpes transmission:

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Genital herpes infection usually is acquired by sexual contact with someone who unknowingly is having an asymptomatic outbreak of herpes sores in the genital area. People with oral herpes can transmit the infection to the genital area of a partner during oral-genital sex. Herpes infections also can be transmitted by a person who is infected with HSV who has noticeable symptoms. The virus is spread only rarely, if at all, by contact with objects such as a toilet seat or hot tub. <hr /></blockquote>I post both of these quotes in response two things that were brought up above. First, unlike AIDS, herpes in not transmitted through blood, but contact with active outbreaks. Second, michigancouple stated that:

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> Driving your car puts you at a hugely higher proportional risk than having unprotected sex. That means that all you rubber users and oral dam users should never drive your car except from to and from work. Don't drive it to the movie theatre, to family get togethers or any other activity that is not necessary. Do not take baths because more people are injured seriously in the bath tub proportionally more than having lifestyle STD's caused by recreational sex. If you truly beleive that you do not take unnecessary risks then don't climb on a ladder, go water skiing, hunting,swimming, jogging, bicycle riding, or rock climbing. Avoid food that is prepared by anyone else because they may not take the proper precautions (especially at an outdoor barbecue). <hr /></blockquote>By comparison the <a href="http://www.hhs.se/personal/suzuki/o-English/he12.html" target="_blank">ORGANISATION FOR ECONOMIC CO-OPERATION AND DEVELOPMENT </a> states that Motor vehicle traffic accidents (deaths per 100,000 population) in the US are 15.3.

Now, does getting a manageable, non fatal, but no curable disease compare to dieing in a car? No, but your chances of getting herpes are much greater when 1 in four Americans have it in some form. Just a thought.

Jim

P.S. I am betting 1 in 4 is a bit of a high estimate, but that doesn't suprise me since the sorce is a women's health site. Another site I found ( <a href="http://www.herpesdiagnosis.com/dr_to_pat.html" target="_blank">Herpes Diagnosis</a> ) says:

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> 1 in 6 people worldwide have genital herpes caused by HSV-2

1 in 5 people in the USA have genital herpes: 1 in 4 over 25 years of age
<hr /></blockquote>

Lorrie · 10-08-2003, 11:36 PM

In our Polyamory Lifestyle, our agreements are:

1. Unprotected sex with us, but condoms (vaginally and anally)with all others.

2. We give advance notice to each other about our next sex partner, or afterward.

3. We talk about the sexual experience.

4. Sex with friends only (doesn't have to be mutual friends)--no strangers.

WesternSwing · 03-16-2004, 03:47 AM

My wife and I are new to this and we have set down a couple rules and a safe word in case things get out of hand and either of us is uncomfortable.

We've set rules regarding what sex acts are off limits with others because we want to keep something for each other only.

As I wrote in my last post, we have decided for now to play only with couples, no singles. At least the rule presently reads "No singles unless we never intend to have contact with them again." We feel couples are not interested in stealing someone else's spouse, and we have a family and don't need some deranged, horny, freaky guy stalking us. Females may be a different story since the stalking thing is not as big a concern with women, but this is something we'll have to review as we become more experienced.

We've also set the rule of no coworkers since we don't need the gossip and publicity with people that don't understand.

So what are some of your rules? What rules did you start with? What have you added? And what have you amended? I'm sure many have had a bad experience of one kind or another that either amended an existing rule or created a new one. And we want to be able to consider as many as possible to prevent us from falling into a bad situation. Of course, one person's "bad" situation can be someone else's fantasy.

But you get the idea.

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09-01-2002, 08:53 AM	#33 (permalink)
K2 Here to Stay Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 63 Location: Michigan, USA Status: Status Questionable Daily	What are your personal rules? I would like to hear what your personal rules are for swinging. Everyone has their own set of values and they range from very strict to very liberal. It would be great to have your input so we could perhaps think of some things that we are overlooking that we should be more concerned about. Personally for me and my partner, here are our top rules not neccessarily in any order: 1. Both of us need to be ok with each of the other people. We have a 'secret' way of letting each other know. 2. Swinging takes place in open setting unless we have swung before and we are VERY comfortable with the other couple. 3. No condoms, No intercourse. 4. A couple of drinks or a doobie is ok. More than that is not.

09-02-2002, 01:18 AM	#37 (permalink)
Quin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,136 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	Well, believe it or not, even us single people in swinging have rules/boundries. Mine are: </font> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">No condom, no sex.</font></li> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"></font> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Always respect the couples and their rules/boundries.</font></li> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"></font> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Absolutely NO unescorted married males or even suspect single males.</font></li> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"></font> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">No drunks or dopeheads (like K2, a drink or two...okay. A joint...okay. Cocaine and other hard narcotics...NO WAY).</font></li> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"></font> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Absolutely NO one on one (meaning just with them in a private room no one else present) with any man.</font></li> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"></font> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">And if I'm going to do a gang bang (which isn't all that frequent...maybe once, twice, three times a year), I must to hear the partner's verbal okay for the male.</font></li> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"></font> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Of course, No means No.</font></li> <font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Out of all those the very most important to myself is the second one. Quin <img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" /> __________________ One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

09-03-2002, 08:22 PM	#39 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,616 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Quin: <strong>[*]No drunks or dopeheads (like K2, a drink or two...okay. A joint...okay. Cocaine and other hard narcotics...NO WAY). </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">K2, I think you misunderstood what Quin was espressing. I believe she was saying she agreed that "like you" a couple of drinks and/or a joint was okay. The heavier drugs were an absolute NO NO! At least that was the way I understood it. Lori __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

09-05-2002, 04:56 PM	#41 (permalink)
Alura T-Town Playmates Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 6,126 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Married to Mrs. Alura	We play almost only with married couples who also play very little and never do anything that the other is unaware of. Anything is possible if we talk about it beforehand and agree to it. No single men. Single women? We've never had the opportunity to address that question. Now, Quin? Sometimes Mr. Alura reads one of her posts and has the desire to drive to Ohio, take her in his arms, kiss her deeply and waltz her all the way across the Great Plains, ravishing her body under the stars on top of Black Mesa, (the highest point in Oklahoma)! If those damned rattlesnakes didn't live there! Alura __________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

08-16-2001, 06:13 PM	#31 (permalink)
CyberMWCouple Posts: n/a	We need to realize, that even if by losing a "used" condom inside the female's pussy or just outside of her pussy, there's still a chance of her becoming pregnant, and or spreading deseases may still occur, due to possible leakage? With other males, I prefer them withdrawing soon after the "deed" is done, especially for "safety" reasons (the ones of having to wear a condom in the first place)! With Hubby, I prefer what Dan prefers to do too, except we don't need the condom.... CyberWife [This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 08-16-2001).]

09-01-2002, 07:15 PM	#34 (permalink)
dave_susie2001 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 284 Location: Michigan Status: Married Couple	Like most couples, our "list" or rules has been drastically reduced over time. Our current rules are probably pretty permanent though. 1. No expectations. If it happens, it happens. 2. We swing together or not at all. 3. All people involved must "click" with each other. 4. Anyone/everyone has the right to say no with no reprecussions. Ok...we could go on with the "guidelines" but these are it in a nutshell.

09-01-2002, 09:48 PM	#35 (permalink)
Cheekyimp1 Here to Stay Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 42 Location: Sarnia, Ontario, Canada	Well we haven't been in a couple to couple situation yet. But these are our general rules. No. 1 - don't fall in love No. 2 - no condom no sex No. 3 - no one-on-one sex No. 4 - no one-on-one meetings No. 5 - he or she has to approve of the potential partner. If the opportunity to be with another couple comes up then we will probably discuss more rules.

09-01-2002, 11:10 PM	#36 (permalink)
centralbamababy Registered Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 9 Location: Alabama	Here's ours: 1. no expectations. 2. no glove, no love. 3. stay inside the comfort zone. 4. no means no. 5. together or not at all. 6. if the oppertunity arises that we can play seperate, the other must approve of the potential partner. That's just us. <img border="0" alt="[fun]" title="" src="graemlins/fun.gif" /> ~CentralBamaBaby <img border="0" alt="[kiss]" title="" src="graemlins/kiss1.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" />

09-03-2002, 08:10 PM	#38 (permalink)
K2 Here to Stay Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 63 Location: Michigan, USA Status: Status Questionable Daily	Gee Quin, you are busting me out as a dope fiend or something. <img border="0" alt="[sad]" title="" src="graemlins/sad.gif" /> I haven't smoked pot in years and I don't even drink. <img border="0" alt="[Blowjob]" title="" src="graemlins/bj.gif" /> Of course back in the day I was known to have my vices. Now my only vices are pretty ladies in varying degrees of nakedness.

09-05-2002, 10:43 AM	#40 (permalink)
K2 Here to Stay Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 63 Location: Michigan, USA Status: Status Questionable Daily	Your right! I reread it and that is probably what she meant. LOL New rule to add to my list of rules... 1a. Try and remember that what I read is not exactly what people meant to say. Too bad we can't see facial expression when people type stuff. That would take care of a lot of problems with interpreting the posts.

09-27-2002, 02:55 PM	#42 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,307 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	Another good question for all of those who have joined us recently __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

09-28-2002, 10:37 AM	#43 (permalink)
Perseus Long Timer Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 161 Location: Winter Park, Fl Status: S. Male seeking Couples and S. Females for good times and possible LTR SLS Name:Perseus	Two things of note... On herpes from <a href="http://www.ama-assn.org/special/std/support/support.htm" target="_blank">JAMA women’s health STD information center</a> : </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Genital herpes is a contagious viral infection that affects an estimated one out of four (or 45 million) Americans. Doctors estimate that as many as 500,000 new cases may occur each year. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Also on herpes transmission: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Genital herpes infection usually is acquired by sexual contact with someone who unknowingly is having an asymptomatic outbreak of herpes sores in the genital area. People with oral herpes can transmit the infection to the genital area of a partner during oral-genital sex. Herpes infections also can be transmitted by a person who is infected with HSV who has noticeable symptoms. The virus is spread only rarely, if at all, by contact with objects such as a toilet seat or hot tub. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I post both of these quotes in response two things that were brought up above. First, unlike AIDS, herpes in not transmitted through blood, but contact with active outbreaks. Second, michigancouple stated that: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Driving your car puts you at a hugely higher proportional risk than having unprotected sex. That means that all you rubber users and oral dam users should never drive your car except from to and from work. Don't drive it to the movie theatre, to family get togethers or any other activity that is not necessary. Do not take baths because more people are injured seriously in the bath tub proportionally more than having lifestyle STD's caused by recreational sex. If you truly beleive that you do not take unnecessary risks then don't climb on a ladder, go water skiing, hunting,swimming, jogging, bicycle riding, or rock climbing. Avoid food that is prepared by anyone else because they may not take the proper precautions (especially at an outdoor barbecue). </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">By comparison the <a href="http://www.hhs.se/personal/suzuki/o-English/he12.html" target="_blank">ORGANISATION FOR ECONOMIC CO-OPERATION AND DEVELOPMENT </a> states that Motor vehicle traffic accidents (deaths per 100,000 population) in the US are 15.3. Now, does getting a manageable, non fatal, but no curable disease compare to dieing in a car? No, but your chances of getting herpes are much greater when 1 in four Americans have it in some form. Just a thought. Jim P.S. I am betting 1 in 4 is a bit of a high estimate, but that doesn't suprise me since the sorce is a women's health site. Another site I found ( <a href="http://www.herpesdiagnosis.com/dr_to_pat.html" target="_blank">Herpes Diagnosis</a> ) says: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> 1 in 6 people worldwide have genital herpes caused by HSV-2 1 in 5 people in the USA have genital herpes: 1 in 4 over 25 years of age </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

10-08-2003, 11:36 PM	#44 (permalink)
Lorrie Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 282 Location: Manhattan, NY USA Status: Cock Sucking/Cum Swallowing Expert	In our Polyamory Lifestyle, our agreements are: 1. Unprotected sex with us, but condoms (vaginally and anally)with all others. 2. We give advance notice to each other about our next sex partner, or afterward. 3. We talk about the sexual experience. 4. Sex with friends only (doesn't have to be mutual friends)--no strangers. __________________ Lorrie Flash If it feels right--DO IT. "The unexamined life is not worth living." -- Socrates (469-399 B.C.)

03-16-2004, 03:47 AM	#45 (permalink)
WesternSwing South of disorder Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,824 Location: Utah Status: Male half of married couple	What are your rules? My wife and I are new to this and we have set down a couple rules and a safe word in case things get out of hand and either of us is uncomfortable. We've set rules regarding what sex acts are off limits with others because we want to keep something for each other only. As I wrote in my last post, we have decided for now to play only with couples, no singles. At least the rule presently reads "No singles unless we never intend to have contact with them again." We feel couples are not interested in stealing someone else's spouse, and we have a family and don't need some deranged, horny, freaky guy stalking us. Females may be a different story since the stalking thing is not as big a concern with women, but this is something we'll have to review as we become more experienced. We've also set the rule of no coworkers since we don't need the gossip and publicity with people that don't understand. So what are some of your rules? What rules did you start with? What have you added? And what have you amended? I'm sure many have had a bad experience of one kind or another that either amended an existing rule or created a new one. And we want to be able to consider as many as possible to prevent us from falling into a bad situation. Of course, one person's "bad" situation can be someone else's fantasy. But you get the idea. Last edited by WesternSwing : 03-16-2004 at 03:50 AM.

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