Sex on the "first date"?

ionsawmill · 11-06-2003, 11:42 PM

Just curious about something. There have been several posts recently about things that come up during sex that were never discussed before sexual contact: kissing, bisexuality, anal, etc. I wondered how many times most people meet before having sex and how much time is spent previous to that in discussing sexual fantasies, likes/dislikes and the rules of the first sexual encounter.

The poll is only the first part of this question. I'd just like to know how many couples and singles engage in some sort of sexual activity on the first meeting. In the thread, I'd appreciate any comments regarding pre-swing preparation with regards to communication between all parties involved.

So what is it? Do you get right down to business and hope everything works out or is there a rigorous screening/boundary-setting process.

My inquiring mind wants to know.

T.H.

yawanna · 11-06-2003, 11:49 PM

Appreciate the poll

but can't answer since it depends upon the venue... dinner/drinks, a house party (on premise for you southern folk), or a private party.

Miss_Piggy · 11-07-2003, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by yawanna
Appreciate the poll but can't answer since it depends upon the venue... dinner/drinks, a house party (on premise for you southern folk), or a private party.

Aren't those the circumstances?

yawanna · 11-07-2003, 12:10 AM

so I would answer.. 'depends on the circumstances' ?

Miss_Piggy · 11-07-2003, 12:13 AM

just checking

yawanna · 11-07-2003, 12:15 AM

well.. 'cause...

screening and stuff doesn't happen too much at orgies

wrnakedru · 11-07-2003, 12:15 AM

Our first "in person" meeting with a couple we have had initial contact on line with is always in a neutral location for the expressed purpose of getting to know each other with the understanding before hand that we do not "kiss on the first date."

We do attend some "house parties"; i.e. parties held in the home of friends attended by those in the lifestyle. The option to have sexual activity is there - bedrooms have been prepared for it, a hot tub may be available for those interested etc. Even in this scenario we are not likely to have bedroom activity; definitely not with those we have met that evening for the first time, and even so with those we have known for quite sometime. Perhaps this has to do with discretion, as activity between participants rarely goes unnoticed by others. But more likely, it is that activity in this type scenario carries with it unwritten rules of courtesy regarding the utilization of a bedroom for "too long" a period of time. That sort of pre-determined boundary is not one we wish to impose on our enjoyment of activity.

**BiloxiCouple** · 11-07-2003, 01:04 AM

We've engaged in encounters on the first meeting.

Within minutes of meeting each other.

Some we never got their names.

And some just bite you.

fun_pairTX · 11-07-2003, 01:22 AM

At our parties the drawers hit the floor at the door. That way nobody has to search for a bedroom. "Excuse me Miss, would you kindly remove your butt from the Queso dip?

gsu22 · 11-07-2003, 12:18 PM

Sex took place on the 2nd date with this couple I'm with now.

Brit_Pair · 11-07-2003, 02:05 PM

We haven't yet played on a first date. It's always been comforting to know that you can meet a new couple for an hour or two, drink, chat, make sure the pre-requisite chemistry (or at least the building blocks for it) are in place, and then head home alone to discuss what (if anything) happens next.

That said, if we were really bowled over by a couple - if there was unmistakeable, irresistable chemistry from the outset, and everything else was right - then we'd consider it.

angihay · 11-07-2003, 04:13 PM

We chatted for about 2 months before we meet in person. We did play on the first meeting but felt comfortable with the other parties through chatting before. Don't think we could ever just meet and then go to town without the chatting and friendship first.

imsnowman · 11-07-2003, 07:15 PM

We said it depends. but probably not if they're wearing Depends.

riffnbrat · 11-08-2003, 09:56 AM

It would depend on how the evening went over dinner or drinks..

We usually talk alot on line befor we meet and the fantasys and boundries r talked about then.. When we play the bounderies r explained again so there r no i forgots ....

I am Brat and he is Riff

ionsawmill · 11-08-2003, 11:54 AM

What I hear most people saying is that the email/chat stage may be more than sufficient to clear up any misconceptions that you or the other party may have regarding sexual content and, in this case, you would feel comfortable having sex on the first meeting.

For comparison, I'd like to know how many of you who are married or in long term relationships treat the first meeting differently than you would have when you were outside the lifestyle and single. In other words, if you will have sex on the first date as a swinger, were you likely to have sex on the first date before you started swinging?

For me, that's an easy answer. When I was single, I never had sex on the first date. In some cases, I didn't even kiss on the first date. Now that I'm married and we've decided to "supplement" our relationship through swinging, the same rules apply: the first date is the job interview, not on-the-job training. We make it clear from the start that sex is not even a possibility on the first date. I think that takes a lot of pressure off that first meeting, knowing that you have time to discuss things privately before moving to the next stage.

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View Poll Results: Do you engage in sexual activities on the first "date".
Single - Yes, I do.	11	9.91%
Single - No, I don't.	2	1.80%
Single - It depends on the circumstances.	7	6.31%
Couple - Yes, we do.	26	23.42%
Couple - No, we don't.	7	6.31%
Couple - It depends on the circumstances.	58	52.25%
Voters: 111. You may not vote on this poll

11-06-2003, 11:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
ionsawmill Purveyors of Perviness Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 277 Location: Southwestern Alabama Status: He's Bisexual She's still thinking about it. They are happily married! Swing Lifestyle Name:ionsawmill	Sex on the "first date"? Just curious about something. There have been several posts recently about things that come up during sex that were never discussed before sexual contact: kissing, bisexuality, anal, etc. I wondered how many times most people meet before having sex and how much time is spent previous to that in discussing sexual fantasies, likes/dislikes and the rules of the first sexual encounter. The poll is only the first part of this question. I'd just like to know how many couples and singles engage in some sort of sexual activity on the first meeting. In the thread, I'd appreciate any comments regarding pre-swing preparation with regards to communication between all parties involved. So what is it? Do you get right down to business and hope everything works out or is there a rigorous screening/boundary-setting process. My inquiring mind wants to know. T.H.
	__________________ IonSawmill@Yahoo.com He is "Tainted Homily" - She is "Deal Earner" Last edited by ionsawmill; 11-06-2003 at 11:54 PM.

11-07-2003, 12:13 AM	#5 (permalink)
Miss_Piggy mildly abnormal Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,437 Location: Sometimes Canada Status: I'm with Kermit	just checking
	__________________ I feel that a woman doesn't have to be called 'Ms.' in order to be a woman of her own making. I believe 'Miss' allows moi to be a woman, and my karate can get me anything else

11-07-2003, 12:15 AM	#7 (permalink)
wrnakedru Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 1,989 Location: Bliss Status: Female	Always! Our first "in person" meeting with a couple we have had initial contact on line with is always in a neutral location for the expressed purpose of getting to know each other with the understanding before hand that we do not "kiss on the first date." We do attend some "house parties"; i.e. parties held in the home of friends attended by those in the lifestyle. The option to have sexual activity is there - bedrooms have been prepared for it, a hot tub may be available for those interested etc. Even in this scenario we are not likely to have bedroom activity; definitely not with those we have met that evening for the first time, and even so with those we have known for quite sometime. Perhaps this has to do with discretion, as activity between participants rarely goes unnoticed by others. But more likely, it is that activity in this type scenario carries with it unwritten rules of courtesy regarding the utilization of a bedroom for "too long" a period of time. That sort of pre-determined boundary is not one we wish to impose on our enjoyment of activity.

11-06-2003, 11:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
yawanna Has Left the Building Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,176 Location: Canada Status: married female	Appreciate the poll but can't answer since it depends upon the venue... dinner/drinks, a house party (on premise for you southern folk), or a private party.

11-07-2003, 12:10 AM	#4 (permalink)
yawanna Has Left the Building Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,176 Location: Canada Status: married female	so I would answer.. 'depends on the circumstances' ?

11-07-2003, 12:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
yawanna Has Left the Building Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,176 Location: Canada Status: married female	well.. 'cause... screening and stuff doesn't happen too much at orgies

11-07-2003, 01:04 AM	#8 (permalink)
BiloxiCouple Julie's Helper Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,002 Location: Biloxi, Mississippi Status: Couple with benefits and retired Swing Lifestyle Name:graceful	We've engaged in encounters on the first meeting. Within minutes of meeting each other. Some we never got their names. And some just bite you.
	__________________ *Live in the moment before they are gone.*

11-07-2003, 01:22 AM	#9 (permalink)
fun_pairTX Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,185 Location: Ennis, Texas Status: Couple	Hmmm At our parties the drawers hit the floor at the door. That way nobody has to search for a bedroom. "Excuse me Miss, would you kindly remove your butt from the Queso dip?
	__________________ fun_pairTX

11-07-2003, 12:18 PM	#10 (permalink)
gsu22 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 248 Location: Atlanta, Georgia Status: Single male	Sex took place on the 2nd date with this couple I'm with now.
	__________________ " A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part". -R. Foxx

11-07-2003, 02:05 PM	#11 (permalink)
Brit_Pair Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 3,635 Location: UK Status: Couple	We haven't yet played on a first date. It's always been comforting to know that you can meet a new couple for an hour or two, drink, chat, make sure the pre-requisite chemistry (or at least the building blocks for it) are in place, and then head home alone to discuss what (if anything) happens next. That said, if we were really bowled over by a couple - if there was unmistakeable, irresistable chemistry from the outset, and everything else was right - then we'd consider it.
	__________________ *It's not going to be an orgy. It's a toga party . . .*

11-07-2003, 04:13 PM	#12 (permalink)
angihay Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 124 Location: michigan Status: couple	We chatted for about 2 months before we meet in person. We did play on the first meeting but felt comfortable with the other parties through chatting before. Don't think we could ever just meet and then go to town without the chatting and friendship first.

11-07-2003, 07:15 PM	#13 (permalink)
imsnowman Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 429 Location: TX Status: couple	We said it depends. but probably not if they're wearing Depends.

11-08-2003, 09:56 AM	#14 (permalink)
riffnbrat Active Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 37 Location: S.E., Mich. Status: Couple	It would depend on how the evening went over dinner or drinks.. We usually talk alot on line befor we meet and the fantasys and boundries r talked about then.. When we play the bounderies r explained again so there r no i forgots .... I am Brat and he is Riff
	__________________ Remember, Just have FUN!!!!!

11-08-2003, 11:54 AM	#15 (permalink)
ionsawmill Purveyors of Perviness Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 277 Location: Southwestern Alabama Status: He's Bisexual She's still thinking about it. They are happily married! Swing Lifestyle Name:ionsawmill	So... What I hear most people saying is that the email/chat stage may be more than sufficient to clear up any misconceptions that you or the other party may have regarding sexual content and, in this case, you would feel comfortable having sex on the first meeting. For comparison, I'd like to know how many of you who are married or in long term relationships treat the first meeting differently than you would have when you were outside the lifestyle and single. In other words, if you will have sex on the first date as a swinger, were you likely to have sex on the first date before you started swinging? For me, that's an easy answer. When I was single, I never had sex on the first date. In some cases, I didn't even kiss on the first date. Now that I'm married and we've decided to "supplement" our relationship through swinging, the same rules apply: the first date is the job interview, not on-the-job training. We make it clear from the start that sex is not even a possibility on the first date. I think that takes a lot of pressure off that first meeting, knowing that you have time to discuss things privately before moving to the next stage.
	__________________ IonSawmill@Yahoo.com He is "Tainted Homily" - She is "Deal Earner"

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