What intimate acts do you reserve just for you and your partner?

[mssquirtgun]

Originally Posted by Avantgarden38

Gosh, looking over this list and the posts we have done everything most people consider too intimate. Including the use of the "L" word.

We have been swinging with one couple for two years. It just isn't in me to play with a woman a hundred times and not feel something. I have hugged her and told her I love her. The word love needs to be divided into at least a dozen sub-categories in my opinion. Of course I don't love her the same as my wife, or my mom, or a nice motorcycle, or chocolate cake, or riding in a convertible, or summer vacation, or. . . . . . . you get the idea.

Our thought fall along these same lines..... We have a few couples that we are really close with and intimacy is there and we feel it is much better than the wham bam thank you mam approach. We do love these people.. we are not in love so to speak. How can you be intimate with people on a regular basis and not feel something for them?
As for the condom issue once we became close to them and knew the other couples that they were intimate with an knew they were safe then the condom thing became a non issue.

[SuAndBud]

A addendum to our earlier post is that we're not being prudish here, Su has pointed out that it's not a taboo to come on a girl's face if that's what she wants and does not rule out ever being the centre of a bukkake session, even, herself with Bud's approval and because it were something Su WANTED to experience. The girls in the films all too often look like the're purely going through the motions of earning their paypacket at the "MoneyShot" stage, is all.

Su likes it when Bud teases her anus and surrounding area with his tongue especially when he probes the tip inside prior to us having anal sex or during a 69 session. Bud keeps this to Su only though, mainly as it is a little on the naughty side and for hygiene (later kissing) reasons. There might be the odd exception to this taboo too, however. Angelina Jolie...Halle Berrie...Liv Tyler...Lannie Barbie...Naomi Campbell...Nautica Thorne...Pammie Anderson...Sabrina Maui...Asia Carrera...Belladonna...Where are you?

[cpl2doitwithu]

Originally Posted by Ashley

Finding it hard to believe that french kissing came in third.

Actually, we can. We have been swinging for over three years and no french kissing was one of our rules, even after we started full swap. That is, up until a few weeks ago. We were scared that we may feel that "tingle" that we feel with each other and it not be special any more. But we tried it and found that it is erotic with our playmates, but not romantic. Sorry if this makes no sense, but that is us...lol..
Now, what "rules" do we have left? Well, never any anal, and no "finishing" in the other lady's mouth. And we are a same room (preferably, same bed) couple. Pretty much it..

[Roman Hands]

Definitely borrowing my truck, or boat!....Don't EVEN think about it!!!

[Tia Vampire]

I would never let a stranger stick me in any hole without a condom. that is just going overboard. Even when me and my fiance first started dating, we did'nt have unprotected sex until our test results came back from the clinic. i'm sorry, but i don't trust anyone when it comes to that. i love myself too damn much.

[sexcupid]

I'm sorry if this has been covered ad nausem, I saw some pretty similar threads in the archives.

However, during a chat we had a few weeks ago about pursuing possible playmates we discussed some boundaries for lack of a better term. Right now they are all hypothetical, but I would rather make sure that some of these things are crystal clear before jumping in and being upset by something happening.

Basically the thought of him having sex with someone else doesn't really bother me. Eh, maybe the actuality of it happening on a regular basis might (we had a full swap with another couple earlier in the summer, totally unplanned, spur of the moment and in public no less...I'm suprised we weren't arrested. *lol* Thank god the park rangers were otherwise occupied), but in theory it doesn't bother me.

Maybe this is TMI, but on this board, I'm not really sure that exsists...*lol* , but I like it when he's rough, we have a couple of floggers, some restraints, we role play. These are not things I would want to have done to me by other people nor would I want to see him doing them. I know he would have an issue hearing me say, "Spank me harder daddy" to someone else. *rotflmao*

So I guess my thing here is, what special things do you as a couple keep for yourselves vs. what happens during a play date?

Any feedback is appreciated.

Thanks!

[good times]

Well, we love each other, that is only for the two of us. Other than that their is nothing we will do with each other that we won't do with someone else.

You are right though, whatever you decide to keep between yourself, agree on and be clear about it ahead of time. Furthermore, stick with what you have agreed to during play, if you decide later that maybe you want to change your mind, do so when you can discus it between yourselves.

[meandher2go]

LOVE isthe only thing we keep to just ourselves !!!

[Amanda69]

Anything that requires love and trust we keep to ourselves. The other things we play by ear depending on their likes and dislikes as well. Talking with the other couple gets all this out in the open.

I can just imagine a couple showing up in full S & M gear to a play date and scaring out of a newer couple lol...send them running for sure.

[WesternSwing]

When we first started we had several things that we kept only to ourselves like anal, affection (in the partner manner), etc. Since then we've moved past every one of them. In fact, I can't remember all of them now.

In short, what seemed important at the time we got into the Lifestyle to keep to ourselves wasn't after we became more comfortable with the whole thing. With experience we moved past many of our fears and insecurities regarding sexual acts with others and now the rule is simply "we don't do with others what we don't do with each other." But anything we do with each other is okay to do with our play partners.

Mr. WS

[Pepper & Drew]

I can't even say we keep the floggers and restraints for ourselves. I think everyone starting out has some "just for us" rules. But, I think over time, a lot of people decide that just because you may do a particular act with someone else, it's not going to mean any less when the two of you do it. So, we don't have any keep to ourselves kind of things.

Pepper

[SuAndBud]

Hey Pepper,

Bud sez you could flog him to within an inch just so long as he could gaze into your big brown eyes at the same time. Su sez if he's not careful he'll be feeling the sharp edge of her tongue and THEN she'll bring the Cat'o'Nine's into play.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

...I think everyone starting out has some "just for us" rules. But, I think over time, a lot of people decide that just because you may do a particular act with someone else, it's not going to mean any less when the two of you do it. So, we don't have any keep to ourselves kind of things.

Pepper

We never started swinging with any "just for us" rules. But we know that many couples do. This can be a problem if they don't share those things with you from the start. The 'no kissing' rule is an example. We think all couples who have this rule should state it in their profile, because when we see this it means we couldn't possibly swing with them. If I can't kiss a man's lips I'm sure not going to suck his cock.

I think many couples new to swinging have "just for us" rules, but with time, they find those rules can get in the way. Once they gain experience and get the feel for swinging they usually ease up on the restrictions they first placed on themselves.

What ever we do with each other we'll do with our playmates.

LM

[hiswhooore]

Thats so funny...my BF and I were just talking about that earlier today. I mean what do you keep for yourself?? We've come to the conclusion that well given the fact that right now we have chosen not to swap, when and if we do decide to give ourselves fully to another couple...we've decided that there will be no anal and no unprotected sex of any kind. I've previously posted a thread regarding the whole "rough sex, talking shit and gettin' down right dirty with eachother" and the response I got was pretty reasonable...keep it to yourself. And I feel its true, there are just some things you should keep between your own private sheets!

[sexcupid]

Interesting responses, thanks to those of you who took the time.
And Pepper...I wouldn't mind breaking out the floggers and restraints for company...just don't want to scare them off if that's not their gig.

However, for me it's more of a safety concern. For all intents and purposes, no matter how into the rough stuff we get, I know as soon as I say the safe word that my sweetie will stop. He makes me feel safe and comfotable, and I'm not entirely sure that I would be so trusting and feel as safe with that kind of play with someone else.

Would I trust a playmate to spank me a little bit? Sure. Do I put the trust there to let them wrap their hands around my neck and choke me while we have sex? Um, not so much so. I have only found 1 or 2 that I even feel safe enough to do that with. Ironic to talk about safety, but I can't think of a better way to describe it.

Anyway, thanks for the responses!

Maria