What intimate acts do you reserve just for you and your partner?

[northindycpl]

For me, anything that I would consider to be a romantic gesture. This is going to sound odd, maybe, but if Mr. Indy stroked the ladies face while she blew him, or cuddled with her, or passionately kissed her, it would bother me. Likewise if we were out and he rested his arm around her like he does me, or hand holding.

Those are things, IMHO, that are reserved for Lovemaking, not sex. I am very certain when we swap to be playful and avoid all hints of romantic connections with my male partners. And I think they like it best that way, truthfully.

Now with women I think it is different. When I am in a FF situation, kissing, softly touching and being gentle doesn't bother me at all.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by northindycpl

For me, anything that I would consider to be a romantic gesture. This is going to sound odd, maybe, but if Mr. Indy stroked the ladies face while she blew him, or cuddled with her

Dito

I don't think these are odd things to consider too intimate. I feel the same way.

[JennyMac]

We haven't actually done this yet, but the romantic/intimate things Ms. Indy talked about are right on target with us as far as what we have discussed. Those gentle gestures are for me and me alone. I know we haven't thrown ourselves into this completely, but if I ever look over and see him "making love" to someone instead of having sex (and to me those things are characteristic of making love) our swinging time will be put on standby until we work it out or our swinging days will be swung out the door...

Jenn

[graygo98]

This is a really hard one.... most of the people who have posted above have more experience than us ... sometimes a lot more ... and I have come to really respect their views. But, on a few points I just see things differently.

I know that swinging isn't making love. And, it isn't about a relationship... already got one, and its more fulfilling than I had ever imagined possible. And getting better every day.

But I also just can't imagine receiving oral sex from a woman and keeping my hands rigidly at my side. I can't imagine that stroking her face is unacceptable ... it seems so natural to me. If I looked over and saw the same scene being played out with my SO it wouldn't bother me, quite the opposite.

Now, the male of a couple we met last summer told me of one occasion when his mate really liked the guy and they spent a long time after sex cuddling and whispering sweet nothings to each other. He and the other woman left them alone to enjoy their privacy. That seemed a bit much for me, but they were just fine with it.

So, where is the line? A different place for different people, and probably at a different place for the same people at different times. Don't know if that makes any sense to you folks, but its the best I can do so early in the day.

[curiousagain]

Body language is full of communication if you listen but it is filtered through the viewer/receivers filters. That guy might be ok with his wife cuddling and whispering sweet nothings. I would be freaking out.

Personally, if I am with a couple, the husband finishes first, then I, and the woman wants to lie together for a moment as our breathing slows, stroke each others hair, kiss, stuff like that, sort of a cool down. No problem. If she wants to cuddle up later and bury her head on my chest while stroking my stomach?? Big red flag, because to me that part is not sex, it is affection and I don't want to go there. Say inbetween round you're all lying around talking. She should be cuddled up with her husband, not me.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

Personally, if I am with a couple, the husband finishes first, then I, and the woman wants to lie together for a moment as our breathing slows, stroke each others hair, kiss, stuff like that, sort of a cool down. No problem.

Guess we look at it the same way. I'm guilty of being sprawled across a playmate, after the fact, while I try to catch my breath. I might lick the sweat off his neck or something equally as goofy, but in no way would I linger there and cuddle.

All my cuddle time is saved for my husband.

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by Roxysbayou

I checked other before I saw the anal choice, I don't think that I would do that with anyone but my hubby. Just because it' snot my cup of tea, and I have to be really ready to do it, and he has to be very gentle. I would be afraid that someone who doesn't know me would be to forceful. Plus, the STD thing.

Same here. Some women just love anal, but unfortunately I'm not one of them. Missed that checkbox.

We don't have any restrictions per se except perhaps deep eye-fucking (aka prolonged intense eye contact) and very intimate or exclusive conversation (like, "I love you", "You're so much better/sexier/fun/etc. than my wife/husband", "What do you think about you and I (fill in the blank with some activity that leaves out the other two)", etc.). There are certain intangible emotional barriers that we all have set up and when someone invades our emotional personal space, it makes us uncomfortable. If we find ourselves responding to someone else's emotional advances, we take that as a sign that we need to examine what's going on between Mr. and I that is allowing for that to happen. No need to panic, just time to review.

As far as physical stuff, pretty much anything goes as long as it feels good and we are all comfortable with it.

[graygo98]

Curious and Vespertine

Pop! The "line" just got a little clearer. Thanks for sharing two examples that help me to understand in my own mind the degree of intimacy that I am comfortable with. In both examples, context is everything. If its a part of passion or in the immediate afterglow, some things are ok that are completely unacceptable otherwise. Its not a black and white rule.

Thanks again...

[graygo98]

Oops! Posted too soon. Intuitiion, a very elegant summation of what I was groping toward.

[Vespertine]

I know what you mean, graygo98.

There isn't exactly a definite line.

I say that I don't want anything intimate, but when I think back, some of my actions my be considered intimate...but the intentions behind them aren't intimate, if that makes sense.

I might come up to a partner, before things get rolling and sit on his lap and cuddle while whispering things of a suggestive nature into his ear. More often than not, when I do this, I'll keep eye contact with my husband & tease him too, or look over at the wife, and wink and smile.

I'm a physical person. I love to touch and be touched.

Now I wonder if this can be interpreted to being too intimate.

[mf69_98]

Wife won't do anal with anyone (bad experience with old BF once). We have reserved playing with her toes for just the two of us - she loves having them massaged while having sex & sometimes sucked.

[eager4more]

For us there's restrictions for safety reasons (condoms), and one restriction for intimacy - I chose "other" because we reserve for us alone falling asleep with each other at the end of the night, with grins on our faces!

[adventureUS2]

There are not to many things we have reserved for just us. Maybe all night snuggling after sex. I don't think we would swap for the after sex snuggle and fall asleep time.
Anal is reserved people we have played with for a while. Sex with out condoms is also reserved for people we know very well.

[Iplay]

I voted
None - we have no restrictions with other playmates
Becuase me and my wife like explore anything and everything.

[YZF]

Though we haven't taken the plunge my girlfriend and me have agreed on some "don't even think about it" rules.

1: No cumming in another woman's mouth. This is something my girlfriend had never done before and started doing with me so she wants no other woman having that. If another woman gives me a blow job, my girlfriend gets the cum.

2: No woman gets a mustache ride. I can go down on a woman, but no woman gets to straddle my face cowgirl style and grind one out. This is reserved just for her.

3: No cuddling or spooning.

4: No anal. I introduced her to this and it is to be done only with her. This works both ways, no one in her booty but me.

5: Kissing is okay during sex, but no kissing after a quick "thank you" kiss after sex.

These are pretty black and white so there will be no "I thought it REALLY meant" later.