How much talk do you want before you meet in person?

[JustAskJulie]

This is a topic carry-over from the live chat tonight. The topic was about how long you converse with a couple online/ by phone before you actually move on to meeting them in person.

Those in the chat were split about 50/50, some felt that if they didn't meet in person early on, it would never happen. And that meeting in person was a better way to see if there was any chemistry.

The others felt that they wanted more time to get comfortable talking to someone online and on the phone before they would meet them (even for dinner/drinks).

What's your take? How long do you usually get to know someone online/by phone before you agree to meet them in person?

[teknurse]

I am not against talking on line but I prefer to talk in person if at all possible. The two couples we have met and corresponded with online didnt turn out to be what we expected when we met.

Initial contact is usually online but thats usually just to arrange a time and place to meet to see if we are compatable. Lately it has been very hard with our hectic schedules.

We are new to swinging but have learned with our limited experience that it is better for us to meet the couple atleast once with no expectations of intimacy. It helps to avoid uncomfortable situation where one couple is interested and one isnt.

The only exception to this rule would be those couples we have met at clubs and swapped with that same night.

[OhioCouple]

We are definitely one in the latter. We have been chatting with one couple for nearly a year (our scheduled do not mesh to meet) and another for nearly 8 months.

Perhaps it is our age groups and responsibilities that include more than gettin up and going to work everyday, but what ever it is, it works for all of us. We have developed a very good friendhship with both couples and our plans are to try and get together later this summer.

[lovefest04]

We really like the time that we are all chasing and being chased.

We are always ready to meet and we encourage a meeting to get the basics out of the way. But we can talk for awhile before and after without feeling like its a waste of time.

We really feel like the entire process from first contact, email, to first bedroom experience is enhanced by foreplay. Savor the moment, have fun and hope for the best.

Lovefest04

[2play04]

We are mixed on this one, and changing as we go.

At parties, there isn't a whole lot of talking needed. If the chemistry is right it can get pretty hot pretty quickly.

But as our ad profile states, we are looking for friends first, people to get to know before any expectations of sex are had. Mainly, I've made our ad that way as I don't want to disappoint people by not being all over them right away. Sometimes it takes a few dates for my shyness to wear off, on the other hand sometimes it takes only five minutes. Sometimes one email is entertaining and enough of a connection to want to meet, other times it takes several to feel that the other people are real and fun.

Mrs. 2Play

[Greg & Sheryl]

We definitely prefer meeting other couples as soon as possible after the first online contact. Unfortunately, much of the time we end chatting online for weeks (or months) anyway because of difficulties in getting our schedules to match. We prefer the first date to be a no-obligation meeting at a neutral place (e.g. bar or restaurant) so we can determine we have any chemistry with the other couple before taking things to the next level. But, like teknurse, it’s not unusual for us to swap on the first meeting in a club or house party situation.

[LikeMinds321]

When searching for playmates online, through swinger sites, the first communication for us is through an e-mail. We don't accept IMs or chat until we have decided we will meet.

A few e-mail exchanges are necessary if--after reading their profile--we have determined we're interested, but we view e-mails as a brief step to an end result--the meet up.

With the couple we are meeting this weekend, we new within a couple e-mail exchanges that we wanted to talk on the phone, which we did within the week, and then made a date within three weeks. [They live about 100 miles away.] We like things to move that fast.

A phone call is a must for us before arranging to meet. We like talking awhile. Two calls an hour each seems plenty. How much is discussed ahead of a meet depends: If they are local we can do much of our talking face-to-face because no one has had to go to the expense of long distance travel. If they live a distance out, we take more time on the phone before arranging a date to meet.

LM

[lauriern]

Meet in a public place and see if there are any vibes, if not move on. A lot of talkers are just closeted cyber sex types. Ya Da Ya Da. I came to dance.

[JustAskJulie]

I know variations on this topic have come up many times but I couldn't find any close enough to bother merging them so I thought I'd just bring this one back up and see if we could get some more thoughts on it.

For us, we don't like endless emails, neither of us are big on phone conversations... so typically we will try to meet asap usually in a club / social setting. If we are contacted by someone online we usually let them know where we will be and when and give them the open door to meet us there.

[Tia Vampire]

We will not chat with people on line that we do not know. If we have not met in a club or house party, you will pretty much be waisting your time inviting us to a private chat or chat room. I have a problem trying to flirt with someone I can not see. So what about camming? No!, We would want to atleast know you and probably have established somewhat of a friendship between us.

[sweet_tna]

We like to try setting up a time to meet as soon as possible, but with our hectic schedule (and the need for a sitter), it can somtimes take a few weeks. So quite often we do chat in the time leading up to the meet.

=)

[havefuninsun]

We're somewhere in the middle here .. we like to chat a bit online just to see if the conversation will flow ... then we'd rather meet sooner than later. Like someone's already mentioned, you can learn a lot about folks with face to face meetings.

However, like sweet_tna said, hectic schedules get in the way of meeting a lot of times, which sucks in a bad way.

[prettylady]

I always thought you could get to know the "real" person online as they can really open up and be themselves.
I met a person online once, this guy was funny as hell.
I created a picture of him in my head, now he was cute don't get me wrong, but in person he had nothing to say. He just was not the person I enjoyed hanging out with online. I've tried hanging out with him a few more times, thinking that perhaps he might lighten up. But nope, same dry boring guy.
I have since changed my mind about meeting people online. I would like to meet them in person for sure before making any decision.
Your friend,
Perttylady

[The Fuse]

We like to meet very soon after initial contact when at all possible. We do like to talk on the phone first, and have a conversation to see what the couple's personalities are like. If we enjoy talking to them on the phone, then we just want to find out if there are any show-stoppers as far as swinging compatibility. It's easier to do that on the phone. If everyone still wants to meet, then we want to meet as soon as everyone can manage it. We don't like when things get dragged out and out and out... but depending on whether we think they are sincere in wanting to meet, we can wait for a while.