reasons for NOT using condoms

[Amanda69]

When you are looking to hook up with a couple or a single and they don't want to use condoms what excuses do they give you?

I have heard the "interferes with the sensation, " "we have been tested," "we only play with clean people," for just a few examples.

[Spoomonkey]

What we have noticed is more of a general complaint: "Damn condoms," the other couple will say. That may or may not lead to a discussion about them. We have heard the "sensation excuse" before - but honestly, we share that gripe ourselves, so we have never seen it as a line at all.

The first time we played without them, it was in a MFF and I was concerned about the logistics of having to take it off and put in on - and back and forth - as I switched between wife and playmate. It was really nice to play that way, but I have learned in subsequent MFFs that it really isn't that big a deal. The condoms go on quite easily - and the wood works quite well

The next time, we just felt really good about the couple and felt like "what the heck are we worried about with these guys?" They didn't try to sell us, they just put their preference out there.

The only other time - we were playing with a repeat couple and there was simply a chemistry in the room that could have set off a smoke alarm. It was probably a lusty decision, but it was a weird, simultaneous four-way decision to fore go the condoms...

We've had other couples hint around about it - but oddly they have always been "frst time" playmates who we have had no other history with. No excuses - just a "gee, you guys ever play without?"

For some reason, that is a real turn off when that happens...

Respect our boundaries and who knows how far we'll go. Shamelessly test our boundaries and the forecast calls for chilly...

Spoomonkey

[good times]

We can't really say we have ever received any excuses, but then again, it has been a long time since we required condom use. I can comment from the other side of the fence, as someone who prefers not to use condoms. First, I have to say that we don't give excuses, because for it to be an excuse we would have to have something we were doing wrong that we would need an excuse for. Since condom use is purely a matter of personal choice, the right or wrong of it is only in the eyes of the beholder. If the subject comes up though, we have no problem giving someone our reasons for preferring not to use condoms, but they are only our reasons, and we in no way intend for them to be excuses. Nor am I giving my reasons to try to change someone’s mind to get him or her to do something they don't feel comfortable doing. I do not ask people who insist on condoms what their excuse is for using them, if I do ask it is simply to know what their reasoning is behind the decision.

Before we play with someone new, we always ask if they require condoms to be used. If they do, we use condoms, no more needs to be said. If they ask us first, our standard response is, "we usually don't use condoms but if you would prefer that we do use them, we have no problem with that". If they then ask us why we don't require condom use, we grab a chair and sit down for "the condom discussion". Their are many reasons why we don't prefer to use condoms that range from our belief that the supposed protection they offer isn't supported by the research evidence, to the fact that they do, in fact, reduce the physical sensation enough that the sex is less enjoyable. Most of my reasoning can be gleaned from reading my posts to the many condom related threads, so I won't repeat them here.

So the next time you have someone tell you their reasons why they don't want to use condoms, keep in mind that their reasons are just as valid as yours are for using them. Do not compromise your beliefs though, if you feel you need to use them, insist on it. It is true some people will refuse to play with you if you insist on condom use, but that is far better than to compromise and regret it.

[paradiseclubcpl]

We don't use condoms, we are exclusive with our couple. AKA poly

[TravlParty]

the supposed protection they offer isn't supported by the research evidence

Exactly, enough said.

[Spokaneman]

Originally Posted by TravlParty

Exactly, enough said.

I agree here as well. me and my wife dont like the sensation loss and we dont find them to be worth it over all.there are plenty of better forms of BC that dont take away sensation. as far as STDs, make sure you and the people you plan to swing with have been checked and get checked often, otherwise its always gonna be a risk... its sex, its never safe lol, want safe sex... do it over the phone lol. one thing that always surprises me is how many people will wear and swear by condoms and then give Oral sex !!!! lol /boggle

[Mr.Essex]

I don't play without condoms. Period.

That being said, three things would have to happen before I changed my mind and engaged in unprotected sex

1. We'd have to live in a rural, low-population area. (If I'm living in a big city, I'd be too afraid of temptation on the behalf of all parties)
2. We'd have to receive a full STD test, supplemented by blood donation to screen out the less-common bugs.
3. We'd have to be faithful. Not in a "Romeo and Juliet" kind of way, but more of a "You're literally the only people who we can rely on" way. If I started to engage in unprotected sex, I'd do it with people who I could be sure (enough) wouldn't go out and bring diseases back into the "family".

[ratimadan]

We "always" use condoms when we exchange partners and have penile-vaginal intercourse with another couple's mate/spouse. The only exception is when we absolutely trust the couple, have known them for a period of time, and are certain that they don't have STD and neither the male or female is fertile, so as to preclude pregenancy.

Having said that, it's a fact that wearing a condom takes away the sensation, i.e., the transmission of the warmth and the interplay of the juices from the woman's vagina to your penis when you penetrate her vagina with your organ during intercourse.

So we could say that we use condoms always, i.e., 99.99% of the time when we have have sexual intercourse with, or, fuck another couple's mate.

[Speed & Trixie]

Well... In our personal sex lives Trixie and I do not use condoms... I think we did for a few at the start of our relationship, 7 years ago! But as we grew we came to know that each of us is clean, and she is on the pill. So We voted "Other". Knowing that each other is clean is the biggest thing, then having her on the pill is a damn close second. We do not wish to ever have children so that is a big concern. Therefore... use of a condom is not needed. Plus, it does kill quite a bit of sensation.
Now, if we were to meet up with another lady I'm sure I will be using a condom for intercourse with her. Not to make the assumption that she is "dirty" or anything like that, but... she is not my partner of 7 years. Trixie and I will both agree to the use of a condom. I know it might make for a bit of fuss during a 3-way scenario, but it is what we want. At least until we have developed a relationship with our new friend and have come to realize that she is clean and is using some sort of birth control.

[2plus2fun]

I am curious how many condom users here also engage in oral sex with no condom... you can catch all of the same shit that way as you do with vaginal intercourse.

We use condoms on request... but usually we don't. We don't play with many people though either and we get tested regularly.

[Trellken]

We don't need them as my girl has had her tubes tied, we have no fear of one of us having an STD and we don't engage in penetrative sex with anyone else.

[Tina and Bob]

Most times condoms are involved except with close friends

[bobbyandleah]

we make the guy pull out way before he is about to cum

[Palladin]

Just thought I would throw in a twister.

Even if a woman is on birth control or has her tubes tied, a practicing Catholic man is expected to remain open to life and refrain from condoms (for health reasons). LOL! Yes, we do believe in miracles.

I suspect Catholic swingers have to practice a certain amount of exclusivity with like-minded couples and probably would not be welcome in large group-swaps?

[highlander]

Originally Posted by Mr. Bliss

`
Paul is praising Holland as a safe country (I am from Holland) The reason for this low rate is that we use condoms over here Paul, study showed that people use less condoms because of the low rates and good AIDS drugs. Result --> more aids infections after 2001. 1191 in 2002

The only reason Paul is disease free is luck and all those people that do use condoms and thus lower Pauls chances to get a disease. If we al did like paul he wouldn't be so lucky.

There are other factors in play here too. One major one is the frequency of testing and in the inclination of people that know they are HIV+ to avoid partners they think may be HIV-.

Most european countries have decent public health and low rates of STD's other than that HIV. HIV tends to piggy back on other STD's

I think eventually the world will move towards mass, cumpulsory testing of HIV:
Medical News: A Model to End HIV Epidemic by Universal Testing and Immediate Treatment - in HIV/AIDS, HIV/AIDS from MedPage Today


Even without mass testing, even very haphazard serosorting offers limited protection

Medscape: Medscape Access

So if you have trouble using condoms, limiting play to tested partners is better than nothing.

I think you could get better results using
Welcome to STFree Certifications
or
Home Bio Tests - Rapid Std Test - Orasure

(I have no connection to either company).