Are you a Newbie?

[Spoomonkey]

Actually, my post was only half kidding...

We did walk away from last Friday feeling like we'd finally lost our "newbie" status - but it really wasn't because we didn't know their names.

It was the first night that everything clicked and we DIDN'T walk away from the club having "learned something." It was like we finally were able to put everything we'd learned into practice and have a great time.

We didn't over communicate about whether or not we were going to play with this couple - but we didn't under communicate either.

I was "not shy" (which I struggled with for a very long time) but neither was I obnoxious (i.e. I drink too much when I get nervous, and I am no longer nervous).

Mrs Spoomonkey was a social butterfly and for so long she had been a wall flower, trying to get me out of my shell by laying back a bit.

I was aware of the entire room - and when the other hubby petered out, I divided my time between two women so no one was left un-entertained.

We won three pool games in a row...

I sang a song at the request of a group of people who have (unfortunately) heard me sing before...

And we went home and had NOTHING - no pressing lessons - to discuss. It was weird. It was like we finally fit swinging and swinging finally fit us.

And - we have no idea what their names were

Spoomonkey

[mrs good times]

I still consider us newbies because there is one hurdle we have yet to jump. Neither of us has been able to "close the deal". We always wait for the other couple to make the proposition because we haven't yet learned how to read the people or the situation to be sure we are making the right move. Still to shy I guess.

[LFM2]

I just had to resurrect this thread.

I was asking Mr. LFM tonight, when does a person stop being a newbie, and looking in the search mode, this is the thread that answered my question the most.

So, when does a person stop being a newbie? Granted, we only started the play part of the lifestyle in August. We thought about it for months beforehand. We've been with two couples, and are having "interviews" on a pretty regular basis, I guess. I still consider us newbies.

If we started playing in August, and we'd been with twenty couples, does that make us veterans (sluts and pervs that we are) because we're so experienced or does it still make a newbie because it's only been a few months?

I'm really interested to read some of your thoughts!

[iapr]

Glad this thread was brought back up, we were talking about this just the other day. The defining moment for us was when we were at an on-premise club and it was 2 AM and noone was doing anything and we were the ones trying to instigate the playing .

Before then we had always seen ourselves as the babes in the woods and most of our discussions were on how we were going to keep ourselves from being pressured or manipulated into doing things we weren't ready for and here we were wishing things would get going along better and we were the ones inviting folks into the orgy room and we were the ones getting naked first and asking folks to join us. That was when we realized maybe we weren't as much the newbies as we had thought.

Perhaps losing ones "newbyinity" isn't so much what you have done or how long you have been doing but rather when you have reached a point you know what it is that you want and know how to go about getting it and have the confidence to pursue it without feeling self consious, embarassed or terrified of rejection.

[rpu3]

I asked this question in November, and a few of the regulars did post their opinions in this thread around Post No. 25:

http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...ad.php?t=29225

[JustAskJulie]

Hello, my name is Julie and I've been swinging for over 10 years... and I'm a Newbie.

At least that's how I feel lately. I feel as if I'm just starting over again and I am probably the most educated "Newbie" out there when it comes to swinging, but I do feel like I'm going through all the same emotions and questions that every newbie goes through.... all because I'm starting fresh with a new partner. You'd think I'd be fine and he'd be the one with all the questions, but it's an equal thing for us.

[sweet_tna]

I've been asking Mr. Sweet this very question of late. We've "only" been at this five months, and have a lot to learn yet, but:

1) We're comfortable naked and playing with perfect strangers around
2) Had "normal" conversation (kids, recipes, etc.) while the other played
3) Come home not knowing the name of one or more person we played with
4) Made the first move(s) with another couple
5) The local M&G is like home to us now
6) "Broke in" a new couple
7) Given above couple advice on getting started

So do we get our swinger's card yet, or is there a probationary period, lol?

=)

[Tia Vampire]

We are still newbies. I guess we will feel this way until we feel 100% comfortable in any situation. May take a while.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

I've been asking Mr. Sweet this very question of late. We've "only" been at this five months, and have a lot to learn yet, but:

1) We're comfortable naked and playing with perfect strangers around
2) Had "normal" conversation (kids, recipes, etc.) while the other played
3) Come home not knowing the name of one or more person we played with
4) Made the first move(s) with another couple
5) The local M&G is like home to us now
6) "Broke in" a new couple
7) Given above couple advice on getting started

So do we get our swinger's card yet, or is there a probationary period, lol?

=)

this is a good list....lol. I like it.

[tittietwister]

Have been active since September 07 and have had a handful of encounters. I consider us just entering the intermediate stage. We won't feel experienced until we are able to stop being so nervous and anxious when meeting new people and when we learn to read people's intentions and desires better. In other words, when this starts to feel natural.

[Ed & Bunny]

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

I've been asking Mr. Sweet this very question of late. We've "only" been at this five months, and have a lot to learn yet, but:

1) We're comfortable naked and playing with perfect strangers around
2) Had "normal" conversation (kids, recipes, etc.) while the other played
3) Come home not knowing the name of one or more person we played with
4) Made the first move(s) with another couple
5) The local M&G is like home to us now
6) "Broke in" a new couple
7) Given above couple advice on getting started

So do we get our swinger's card yet, or is there a probationary period, lol?

=)

well we have managed all the way through 5. LOL

Originally Posted by Tia Vampire

We are still newbies. I guess we will feel this way until we feel 100% comfortable in any situation. May take a while.

I dont think we will need to feel 100%, because from what I see in this forum the lifestyle will always throw a few curveballs. But I think we will stop considering ourselves newbies when we reach a certain comfort level. How long that will take I just cant say. But hey as long as we can still have fun as newbies does it really matter?