Is there anything in the lifestyle that worries or scares you?

Is there anything in the lifestyle that worries or scares you?

[myUNIT]

The thing that scares us the most is STD's

[watcherone]

Also STD's but two others. One is getting to know someone new and deciding he would be okay and then have a guy that gets too rough with my wife. Have had one experience with a man that played a little rough. Didnt care for it. Another thing is to play with someone that brags or talks too much to other guys about his times with us. we can only get into it with men that respect our privacy and understand what this is all about. I have seen men really getting off having sex with my wife and enjoy that alot but trust the guy to keep his experiences with my wife to himself. I couldnt take it if a guy thought that he had had a night of sex with a slut or some other cheap name. There have been a few guys that didnt get her because we saw that he didnt really understand what this is all about.

We like to cover all of these things in our first meeting with a new couple. We discuss STD's and also any other concerns we might have. I do not want anyone getting rough with my wife either, and I make that very clear to them.

Discretion is a very big part of the lifestyle, and it's very understandable that it's something that might scare people off. Who wants to hear thru the grapevine that they are sleeping around? Not us! Again, we attempt to make sure that the other couple understands this from the beginning.

Even though we discuss all of this with a couple before anything happens, there is always that small voice in the background that makes you worry. That is part of human nature, and helps remind us that we need to pay extra attention in new circumstances.


Husband of CyberMWCouple

[JustAskJulie]

Originally posted by CyberMWCouple:
We like to cover all of these things in our first meeting with a new couple

Another reason that shows how important communication is in this lifestyle, not only with your partner but with those that you are considering swinging with.

Another issue that I have seen come up is guys getting too attached in a 3some situation and wanting more than he's getting.

Getting involved with a couple that on the outside seems happy and committed only to find out that their relationship is really quite bad.

The possibility of pregnancy and of course the mentioned, STD's.

Running into someone you know at a party (just remember they are there too and have as much to lose).

Having someone run into your ad online and see your pics then send it on to your family or your job (I've seen this happen)

Something that people probably wouldn't worry about until they see it happen (this happened to a friend of mine).. is something that happens at regular night clubs, but makes no sense that it would happen at a swingers club is that of having drugs slipped in your drink. A friend of mine had this happen at a convention, someone fixed them a drink and slipped something in it.. the date rape drug. She remembers bits and peices of the night but very little and she did find out who did it. But it is somethign to be wary of and a reason to keep an eye on your drink no matter where you are.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[poisonivy_44057]

What scares me most is STD's, we always use condoms, but i know there is a chance even with protection. And I sometimes fear in the back of my mind, that if a condom broke,my hubby might knock some woman up, that terrifies me, we have been fortunate to be with woman who arent able to have children anymore(and i had a hyst so i dont worry about getting pregnant..lol )
I guess sometimes i worry that one of us might find that we get too attatched to one of our partners, that is pretty scarey too.
And of coarse i worry that family and friends might find out

------------------
Couple in NE Ohio ISO other couples and bi females, we love to have fun

[LIZA]

STD's and Pregnancy. I do not trust condoms. Therefore we don't engage in intercourse or anal. I know it's possible to get an STD from oral sex but I believe the odds are quite low.

I honestly have NO fear pf discovery or exposure. If I ran into a friend or co-worker at a club, I hope we would all have a good laugh (I DOUBT we would play with them, though!). Some of my friends know what we do..........My MOM knows........a fe co-workers know. To me it's no big deal and if my boss found out I would not be terribly bothered. Same as being Gay or whatever, my sex life is my own business and anyone who discriminated against me after finding out would be in the wrong

[mdcpl630]

OH Boy - what scares me (and pissed me off)? Let me set the stage...We were at a house party (our first)and I had a bit much to drink (taking into account the small amount I had to eat that day). When we started to party the host of the party was doing me while my other was with another guest. My other came over and saw the host was into me without a condom. I honestly didn't know that he wasn't wearing one and quite frankly the host never got hard or ejaculated. My other got quite upset (but didn't make a scene) and voiced his displeasure with the host(away from the party area). We had agreed that condom use was a must but in my condition I wasn't careful as I promised. The host apologized and stated he had never nor does he have any STD. Now what should we do?

[JustAskJulie]

You should get tested anyway. There are several std's that can be tested for at any time. Others you won't know till you se signs of them.

If he was in you without a condom chances are that he normally doesn't wear one. While he (to his knowledge) doesn't have anything, he can't speak for other partners he's been with or their partners.. this is something that people don't think about often enough.

In the future make sure that the person you are with uses a condom.. if you are too drunk to remember that.. then your best bet it probably not to get in the situation where you need one. You and hubby should set up some sort of system so that he can keep an eye on you if you are drinking, and if you are too drunk to stop the action then he can come in and do so or at least make sure that the person is wearing a condom.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[MiCpl]

Our biggest fear is probably STD's. We always use condoms and try to get to know people before we play to help reduce this factor.. but even so.. you never know. Another issue with us is couples that seem like they are ready to get into the lifestyle or maybe they even have been for years but once you play you find out they have major issues.. jealousy, relationship problems, etc... only to find ourselves in the middle of their mess.

S&J

[PA_RACERS]

My biggest fear is a man getting violent with me. We mainly go to clubs. I have seen some of the men get very pushy after they have had a few drinks. I refuse to sepreate room swap for that reason. Last thing I want is beaten and bruised.

[ILcouple]

Our #1 concern is std's even though condoms are always used there is a risk accidents do happen I am allergic to the latex condoms and find that the non latex ones are thinner so it adds to our worry that one may break not worried about getting pregnant had that taken care of awhile ago... as for Julies comment about someone finding your ad and sending it to a family member <img src="http://www.theunholytrinity.org/cracks_smileys/ups/krista/eeksmile.gif" alt="" /> I dont even want to think about that... but my brother in law just recently found out I was bi when I ran into him at a strip club while i was sitting there with a bill in my mouth and a womans crotch over my face needless to say a deal was struck you dont tell I wont either. <img src="http://www.theunholytrinity.org/cracks_smileys/otn/other/ignore.gif" alt="" />
The better half of ILcouple *Rachel*

[biblonde]

becoming friends and playmates with someone who turns out to be possesive and obsessive of one or both of us....and yup that happened!!!

didn't like being told when and how often we were to see them (which in their opinion was to be every free moment we had!) and who we could and couldnt "date"!

those type of people are sooooo hard to get rid of...we are very careful now on who we talk to and meet..

my 2 cents

[Vjklander]

STDs, anything else can be dealt with. And we don't play apart unless it is with some one we know really wel.
J

[EternallySingle]

Originally posted by biblonde
becoming friends and playmates with someone who turns out to be possesive and obsessive of one or both of us....and yup that happened!!!

didn't like being told when and how often we were to see them (which in their opinion was to be every free moment we had!) and who we could and couldnt "date"!

those type of people are sooooo hard to get rid of...we are very careful now on who we talk to and meet..

my 2 cents

Outside of STDs or getting someone's wife pregnant (and fresh condoms are effective enough to make those fears a distant thought), someone I swing with trying to control my life and not even pretending to compromise is one of the things I work hard to avoid.

I've been in that situation. A woman...single bisexual female...decided she wanted me for a partner and said all the right things. Guess I told a couple she knew a little too much about what I looked for in a relationship partner. Two regular dates and she invites me to a pool party. The next day she says she wants me to be her regular partner, but that meant I could only be with people she knew. When I tried to introduce her to my friends she accused me of cheating on her. If she called I either dropped everything or she the next time she saw me she complained about how insensitive and unfaithful I was. The final straw was when she said "If I wanted to talk to someone I would call one of my girlfriends, not a man" when she asked me to drive from Vancouver, WA back to Tacoma because her car broke down. The worst three months of my life.