Promiscuity and Swinging

[OhioCouple]

We have had several topics/posts and discussions of late regarding sexual habits before seeking to be in or learn more about swinging in general. I am curious as to what led couples to the lifestyle in general and if their past sexual experiences played a major role in it.

Do you think that promisuity in your past led you to the lifestyle?

Do you think the two are entertwined in some way?

In the poll it is designed for multiple answers so that those who choose to remain anonymous can but please do not choose more than two and you need to answer differently for each of you.

Lori

[JustAskJulie]

This is an interesting topic, I'd like to see more people add their opinions regarding the possible connection of their earlier sex life and what they do now.

I will say that I think it plays a major part for me. I was quite promiscuous when I was single and while I was willing to give that up for the right guy (and did), I was very happy to find out that I didn't have to.

[lynn3]

This is both of our second marriage. But when we weren't married , it is safe to say that we generally just slept with the person we were dating at the time. If I wasn't in a relationship, I didn't have sex. Not that I didn't have much of a sex drive. But it certainly wasn't what it is now.

But that was long ago. Jim and I have been together a long time now....and that's a good thing.

[sportync]

Although I tend to like variety as much as the next guy, I would have to say that I really wasn't all that promiscuous before I married. Generally I've looked for people I could connect with, but if a good opportunity arose, so did I.(Not so for my wife). But in regard to how my prior sex-life has affected my current attitude, I would have to say that for many, many years my most profound fantasies have almost always envolved more than two people. This has had a tremendous affect on my current situation, as now I can share these fantasies with my wife and when the situation is right, we can now turn them from simple fantasies into some very memorable erotic adventures. We've been together for 20 years, never cheated on each other( although there have been ample opportunities), and have a very passionate, loving and trusting relationship that accepts the fact that just because we're married it doesn't mean we're dead.
Sportync

[babydragon]

I never really had a chance to be promiscuous, I always seemed to be in long term relationships, or just didn't bother with sex. I never really believed orgasms were real until I met my Hubby (thanks sweety).

We have a varied and loving sexual relationship, but sometimes I used to wonder about what I had been missing out on. So here we are, exploring every part of our sexual nature. Thanks to one friend I now know I am Bi.

I cant wait to find out about other things I missed out on.

[stoutgatte]

Hey there... I was a virgin (the guy, yes) and she had about 18 partners... For this arrangement to work I think one needs an open mind (from my side) and she was obviously very much into having a good time when she felt like it...

[Spoomonkey]

To be honest, I couldn't tell you how many partners I've had. My teen years were spent with a "no dating" rule that allowed me to pretty much hop from girlfriend to girlfriend with little trouble. Little wonder I was married at 18 with a kid on the way and a scholarship pulled away from me...

During my first marriage, things got easier to measure. I had one affair around year number seven, but was otherwise faithful.

Then I became single again - found Mrs Spoomonkey - discovered what really, really good sex is like - and then went and muddied the water again with this swinging stuff...

I'm not particularly proud of my promiscuous teen years, but at the same time, it wasn't to bad for a Spoomonkey...

Spoomonkey

[LadyCleo]

I had several sexual partners prior to this relationship. My husband, on the other hand, had not. In fact, I was his second partner.
I don't think that promiscuity necessarily leads to swinging.
I think that having an open mind leads people to swinging.

LC

[HotCoupleGnS]

When I met Hubby he was the 5th partner I had. I was 17 when Hubby & I met. All the guys I was with I had some sort of a relationship with. He had quite a few more than I had. But since we have been married, I have had more partners. Most of the expereinces we have had have been mfm.

[TxCouple98]

he was my first....and as for him he has never given a number (not sure i want to know) I would assume he had his fair share and then some

I am not sure if number of people you've had sex with does it for us, but more that we have always been very open about what we both like and want to try sexually. I feel lucky that I found someone that I could be so open with on my first try

[Dave_kat]

Interesting topic, it's been something we've discussed with each other since before we started and our conclusions are as follows:

1. Both of us were higly sexually active before we got married. We were both club goers from 16 on, and well, raves were a thing of the times. Even when we were together (just living together while he was in college) we both had outside relationships, 3somes, 4 somes, just what we would consider normal sexual activity for people of our ages.

When we got married, it took us about 2 years to get bored with 1 on 1, which led to problems. So, our solution puts us here.

Which leads us to the next question: Is this the same type reason we see a lot of younger people getting into the lifestyle?

[Vespertine]

Hmm, Great question! I've often thought about this.

Before I married my hubby I didn't particularly care for relationships. I wasn't interested in devoting myself to just one person---
I was too young and wanted to enjoy my freedom!
(In fact, I only had two monogomous relationships.)

I was always able to separate sex from love. I didn't have many one night stands but had several male friends (hubby was one ) that I'd often have sex with (IF we were both unattatched). There were a couple of girls in our circle of friends that shared the same philosophy as me.
We never had group sex but sloppy seconds were common.

Coincidently, most of us paired up and married eachother.

Hubby and I always wondered if we were all "swingers-in-training".

[xxoticangel]

When we got together my husband was number 11. We had both been married and unfaithful before and labled our relationship as "fuck buddies" for the first few months. When I was in H.S. I ran a mix group that varied between 8 and 12 other teens. We all hung out together, partied together, and had sex together. My partner would vary from day to day but it was always someone inside the clique. I guess I have been a swinger since then. Hubby is a little older and had a completely but very expierenced youth too.
After I married I had a couple of affairs as a way to "get back" at my husband. I know now that it was wrong but I was young and felt trapped.

Do you think that promisuity in your past led you to the lifestyle?

Do you think the two are entertwined in some way?

If I had not had the expierences of my youth I probably not be a swinger today. I was comfortable being naked, having public sex, and sharing when we started.

[BradAndJanet]

Both of us have always been monogamous throughout our lives, it's only now that we're breaking out of that mold. It seems that swingers come from all sorts of backgrounds from the responses so far.

I am envious though, of all of you who enjoyed so much casual sex in your past. I was way too shy in college and missed out on all that.

-B

[mwsw4ever]

I GUESS FOR ME AN MRS.W THE LIFESTYLE HAS WORKED OUT GREAT FOR US SINCE WE WERE AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE DATING REALM BEFORE WE MET AND MARRIED.I WAS A SHY GUY THAT DIDN'T GET AROUND WITH THE LADIES AS MUCH I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO. THE MRS. WAS A VERY NAUGHTY GIRL,WHICH I REALLY LIKED ABOUT HER. <EG> SO SHE STILL GETS TO HAVE FUN AND I GET TO EXPERIENCE MORE THINGS THAN I DID WHEN I WAS SINGLE.