Promiscuity and Swinging

[funcpl4life]

She had had about 35 partners when we met. She was my third.

She was 19 and I was 23.

I've slept with far more women since we met/married than before. We were completely monogamous for about 5 years and then opened things up.

"Why can't you just cheat on each other and divorce like normal people."

Mr. FC4L

[cumhungrycouple]

Well I had many and wife 1 + few BJ's (but that's Asia for you)

But either of us are only comfortable swinging as we know we wouldnt cheat on each other if we didnt swing. If one says stop thats it no argument.

Many things a couple can do for sexy fun. Outdoors/risky places, making home porn and watching others porn. As well as keeping romance alive with weekends away and dressing up etc. Thats a lot of fun!

We just like the extra things 3+ can do 2 cant - like cocks for mouth+pussy+anal, hands and mouths for breasts, ears and anywhere all at once!

Extra possibilities NOT "legitamate" cheating surely is the core to swinging? or do most do it to get extra experiences with others more 1on1 ? Most seem to want same bed full swap at least in Asia

As you may guess we dont do "wife swapping" just full on 3some/group

One thing I noticed in Asia before meeting the wife was that female married friends 35+ who normally married as virgins were going off to gang bangs to make up for "lost time". There husbands were off cheating so they wanted to "get some" as well. Often divorce isnt an option as man will not support the wife or kids. They wanted me as a partner as being western I know to keep my mouth shut. I said no thanks "not my thing". Hate to run into them now though "you said..."

So being a virgin at marriage may result in swinging later to even the score up in USA as well??????

[Karenandtom4you]

Both my husband and I had a few experiences before marriage. but in the 60's and early 70's just having sex for the fun of it -was less common than today.
Swinging is not being promiscuious-as I see it. It is about communication-and giving yourself permission to be who you are and enjoying your sexuality with others.
We first had to un-play many of the tapes in our head-like "what would mom think" or "what would or religion think" We finally decided that what we think and do is most important-and we have found swinging a great way to enjoy our sexuality with others-and meet some very nice people in the process.

[cj22s]

We lost our virginity to each other. I did play around quit abet before we started dating(no sex). I am the only person he ever dated. I guess we are kinda playing catch up now. lol

[danni654]

Our former promiscuity and a high sex drive combined for the need to swing. Our emotional bind and maturity level helps, too. Plus we both firmly believe that the human species is not built to be monogamous. Emotionally, yes...but not sexually.

xoxo, Danni and B
http://danni654.blogspot.com

Originally Posted by OhioCouple

We have had several topics/posts and discussions of late regarding sexual habits before seeking to be in or learn more about swinging in general. I am curious as to what led couples to the lifestyle in general and if their past sexual experiences played a major role in it.

Do you think that promisuity in your past led you to the lifestyle?

Do you think the two are entertwined in some way?

In the poll it is designed for multiple answers so that those who choose to remain anonymous can but please do not choose more than two and you need to answer differently for each of you.

Lori

[MissKat]

I've never looked at myself as being promiscuous or otherwise (its not my call) so Id say that a willingness to experiment sexually was what led me to swinging. Some people might view that willingness as promiscuity and that's cool with me as I had a very good time on the road to the lifestyle LOL

[prettylady]

My Dog is guy number 4 for me.
All have been long term relationships. First at 15, we had a child together. Next was my husband.........excuse me needed to yawn. Then one other. First were just really BAD at sex the other was good, but erogant. You know needs to brag about how many times he made me cum ( to anyone who would listen). He was also not into ANYTHING. No porn, not toys, he accually told me once that he refuses to wear a condom. If I want to have sex with someone who will wear a condom I had better find someone else....so I did. By the way he was asking to try anal and it was my first time I didn't know what to expect, but I am not stupid so I had an idea of what might happen with out a condom.....asshole.
Then there is my Dog. He is great and open to anything.
Dog was the one who mentioned it. He tried swinging once with his past wife, beyound that I really don't know how many past experiences he has had.
I guess three bad sexual relationships then one really good one is what lead me here, I trust Dog and so I am happy to at least give this a try.
Wish me luck
Your friend,
Prettylady

[Amanda69]

Female here, had a very, very active sex life prior to finding the lifestyle. Lost count in my late 20's...one thing I found when I was out and on the prowl was there were many married men out fooling around on their wives.

Then I met a man who put it all together for me. He believed men and women were not meant to be monogomous but that you could still have a permanent mate. He said instead of fooling around and risking ruining the relationship why not invite other sexual experiences into your marriage.

It took a long while to convince me and even longer to convince me to try the lifestyle but I haven't looked back since...

[rachan]

By the time I was 16 I was having sex with every guy who asked me out but I had the hots for a guy who was ten years older than me. I started slipping out with him at 16 but he was determined not to have sex with me until I was 18. I remember lots of times when he'd cum in his pants after we had been making out and it was frustrating. We finally spent the night together a week or so before my 18th birthday and now he's my husband. I guess I'm still promiscuous. My desire for sex has led to us enjoying this lifestyle.

[Alexxander]

My wife and I where never promiscuous, and now we both regret it a little bit.
Our reasons where completely different.

I would not specify my wife’s reasons, but mine where mostly because of shyness and insecurity, so I only had sexual encounter with girls that I met for some time and that I became friends with…
I am not talking about actual “girlfriends” since I hated commitments and all the silly (at least for me) social aspects of it. I am talking about good friends that both decided to have sex without any commitment at all.
That, in my society is not an easy find, specially considering that the people I make friends with are not easy to find either.

With all of this said, I would also add that I was and still am very “sexual”… I have always been very interested in all aspects of it, loved to think about it, loved to talk about it, fantasized about it, and so on… (a lot more than you need to hear)

So I would like to add, that just because a person is not (or was not) very “promiscuous”, doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is not a very sexual person.

[lkrbms]

You can combine and count both of our partners with your 2 hands. SHE, HER, THE MRS. being the major contributor (cough, cough, whore) to our combined total

[flkeyscouple]

I (female) lost count before I met my hubby. Prior to my first marriage (high school) I probably had more partners than could be counted on one hand. Then married - got bored and since husband#1 and I didn't communicate well, I had plenty of affairs prior to divorce. Then as a divorced single I had a few years of short relationships - couldn't find anyone that could match my sex drive. Then met and started sleeping with Roger (now my husband). We didn't swing the 5 years of dating, or the first 5 years of our marriage.

We started talking about voyeurism and exhibitionism - one thing led to another and we started sharing secrets about our pasts. Roger hearing me talk about my sexual encounters was a huge turn on for him and again - one thing led to another. We started sharing, but ONLY as a couple. I can't imagine playing without him.

Roger - on the other hand - was far from a virgin when we met, but he can count his sexual partners prior to me on two hands.

The poll is hard to answer when the couple is so different - but I answered for me (female).

Sarah

[deanncat]

this is my second marriage but I was really young during my first marriage and didn't really like sex but in between the time before I married again I did have a few fun expercience but nothing like I have with my hubby now (my second marriage) he brought me out of my shell and showed how much fun sex could be and its been 10years of fun ever sence. We are still just chatting about the swingers life havn't really gone for it yet, but probably will eventually.

[ohash01]

J. and I have talked about this, in depth. Neither of us were crazy about it, but we've both had what I would consider to be a significant number of partners prior to meeting. His numbers beat mine, but he has 6 years on me, age wise.

I'm a little socially retarded, so I've never been able to go out to a bar and take someone home. Only did that once...met him in Canada, realized we both went to OSU, then we met up AFTER we'd gotten home. Mostly, I ran through my guy-friends at lightning speed. Between all of them, there was a lot of variety, and I was comfortable with them. They were all comfortable "sharing" me, if you will, because they all knew we were all safe and smart about it.

J. was a bit of a raver in his wild days, so he was very social and if he met someone he was interested in, would take her home. He told me you can't HELP it when you're on E, but I've never done it, so I wouldn't know.

[prettylady]

Originally Posted by ohash01

I'm a little socially retarded, so I've never been able to go out to a bar and take someone home. Only did that once...met him in Canada, .

Must have been the beer.
Our beer makes you braver then your silly American beer. I wonder why that is.....Oh ya, we have alcohol in our beer.

Sorry, Canadian pride lies in our beer.
I love American's and their ice tea, or sorry I ment beer. *prettylady hopes that she will not be burned too bad*
Your friend,
Prettylady