Promiscuity and Swinging

[xxoticangel]

Angel and I were talking about this post last night. I read her post and it doesn't give you a clear picture of what she was doing in her H.S. years.
It seems that the early 80's, when I was in H.S., and the late 80's, when she and my brother were, had a completely different attitude toward sex.
During my H.S. and military years picking up casaual sex was fairly easy and normal. The difference was the closest I came to swinging was having sex with a girl in my barracks room while my roommate was having sex with a different girl in the same room. We took great pains to not be seen having sex or even naked and if you knew that a girl had been with another guy in your unit she was off limits. I had many different partners during those years but most were one nighters picked up at some party or club. (Remember disco?)
Angel and my brother went to different schools but had very similar expierences. They were both part of a group that did everything together. My brother married one of the girls from his group and they are still best friends with another couple from the group. The major difference is that my brother became very conservative and my wife became even more sexually open.

[TeamSoBe]

Originally Posted by Dave_kat

Which leads us to the next question: Is this the same type reason we see a lot of younger people getting into the lifestyle?

Do you mean the Ecstacy?

I'd say yes.

[PotentialSwnger]

I was 17 and hubby was 18 when we first started dating.

Not, that I'm proud, but he made my 17th sexual partner and I made his 18th sexual partner.

Not exactly something to be proud of, but there are no regrets... I know I learned alot from my past encounters as I assume he did.

[Luna66]

My hubby and I both had a good number of partners before we were married. But have been monogomus since we started dating. I was big into group and bi fantasies. He was very reserved sexually when we meet. He is not any more! He always jokes I corrupted him. I was really shocked when he agreed to check out the lifestyle and is really into it.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by BradAndJanet

I am envious though, of all of you who enjoyed so much casual sex in your past. I was way too shy in college and missed out on all that.

-B

I was wondering how long it would take to read a post that said what I felt.

I was raised to believe that you don't have sex unless you are in love. I was seventeen year old virgin when I met Mr LM in college. I fell in love, had sex, and I've had a monogamous vanilla sex life since. It's been fun, but over the past years I knew it could be better.

I did not blossom as a sexual being until the past year. I reached menopause and something hit me. I wanted to know what it's like to have sex with other people!

Sexual fantasy has always been a big part of my life and I wasn't going to keep my interest in sexual exploration from Mr LM any longer. It took guts bringing my needs up to him, but to my relief and surprise, he was very open to the idea of swinging.

He had lots of sexual experience before we met. I had none.

For me it has been my lack of a promiscuious life that has brought me to swinging.

LM

[ionsawmill]

I had only had sex twice before we got married; three times if you count receiving oral as sex. Bill Clinton will have to answer that one for you.

She had been with several guys (4 or so) when she was in her mid-teens. Later, she swore off sex. I was her first after a very long dry spell.

[tandb]

"I did not blossom as a sexual being until the past year. I reached menopause and something hit me."

Wow, LikeMinds, Mrs. TandB has had the same experience! We wondered if some hormonal shift due to menopause was the reason for the tremendous increase in her libido.

We were highschool sweethearts and virgins when we met, we married young (over thirty years ago) and had a pretty "vanilla" sexlife until two or three years ago....then....

It is no longer vanilla.

[HotMoCpl]

Without giving reasons here, she's got experience over me.

[DaveNSheila]

We voted other because one of us was a little wilder than the other. D was single before we got together so was introduced to the swinger lifestyle while living in Arizona. S was married and only had sex with hubby at time. Now we are each others first ex so this is basically S's 3rd marriage and my 4th. D

[allycat]

I was very promiscuous before my marriage.I felt like I was really confined and smothered by my marriage before we made the decision to swing.I had several affairs before we even took the plunge as a couple.I bugged him to death and I really think he was going to leave me.We finally did it as a couple with a friend of mine from work and her hubby.He knew them both and felt comfortable and they lived happily ever after!

[turrywolez]

I (her) was a poster child for "the more the merrier" and Dick had only been with 1 one night stand and one other relationsip before me. so I was his 3rd and I had been around the block a few times shall we say.

[NaughtyKitten]

We were both quite sexually active before we met but I tend to be the wilder one. He had more long term relationships than I. We have been monogamous since we met 13 years ago. As I posted on another thread there was a near cheating experience in our marriage. That is what got us talking more (we had talked before) about swinging. We realized we both had desires to be with others sexually and that we didn't want it to be thru cheating but through shared experiences. This is an interesting thread.

[autumn528]

We were at opposite ends of the spectrum. I played in bands during my twenties and lived sort of a "rock-n-roll life". I was a bit of a male whore. Mrs. A on the other hand married her high school sweetheart and was with the same guy for 13 years. So the answer is I was promiscuous and she wasn't. BUT, once we got together we were very open with each other. She no longer felt the need to surpress her feelings(her ex was/is a dick with a big ego) and I didn't have to hide my natural kinkiness(my ex too was/is an asshole) we have been able to explore and enjoy each other as partners in every thing we do.

[traveler259]

Interesting this showed up today for some reason I felt compelled to look back last night and count what my life was like before I go married 20 years ago. My wife was # 16 and we were married when I was 25. I was a teen in the 70's I was probably below average. My wife admits to one other lover, but doesn't talk about it much. We have been mono for 20 years but are considering taking the leap into the life style or at least sticking our toe in. The fantacies are driving me crazy, but Mrs isn't ready yet -- so we wait patiently -- If we had run into nudism and the life style when we first got married I am sure we would be hard core today. We may be in our 50 by the time we get around to start -- but I am getting off topic. Great thread -- love this board!!!-

[Estaque]

16 years of monogamous marriage is what eventually led us to swing. It took us that long to become so secure with one another that we could actually feel comfortable with sharing one another with anyone else. I guess we finally figured out that sex is not love.