Does swinging and friendship mix?

[MattMann]

We have only "swung" with 5 couples (in 5 years of swinging) and have only found one pair that we became very good friends with. They are now our closest and best friends (actually, the wife and I are very, very close, my wife and her husband are just friendly). We get together very often, even vacation together, but we haven't done anything sexual for almost a year now. They live an hour away from us and have kids too, so when we meet it is usually always non-sexual (we have been almost caught outside in the hot tub on more than one occasion when we thought they were all asleep or watching a movie, so now we only do sexual things on adult-only meetings which are as rare as honest politicians). That's okay though, because the best thing about the relationship is the freedom of having open communication, being able to talk so non-chalantly about things you would never even allude to with your "normal" friends. Of course you still have to watch your mouth when the rugrats come around, so total freedom is still some years away.

[WesternSwing]

We have friendships with two couples we have swung with, but I still am suspicious about close friendships. I worry. My ex and I had some soft swing experiences years ago with my best friend and his wife. We were at their house or them at ours several nights a week for dinner and the kids playing together. Then the normal story of hot tubbing together, watching porn together, and things progressed to soft swinging. But then, one night my best friend's wife caught my ex giving him a blowjob in my ex's car out on the street in front of their house. Turned out it had been going on for several months, too. So we had gotten so close as friends that they developed feelings for each other. So you could say I'm a bit skittish and leary about getting too close to people we are swinging with.

Mr. WS

[Bama0468]

We have had our ups and downs, mostly UPS! As Jules said it is awesome ot have friends that you can be COMPLETELY you with, no preasure, occasional perks.

[twoready4fun]

We always try to be friends with our partners. I guess it is not always possible though.

[friendlycoupl63]

i voted it has it's ups and downs.......this is the male half of the couple.....after about 4 yrs in the LS, we found a couple that we both got along with, which most of you know, not all get along and couples sometimes just don't work out. it was so nice to find this other couple that we didn't see what was coming at all..........we all got along great, and we even had dinners together with all the kids playing, and doing what ever........video games, running around in the yard, you know normal things lol. we did all that, and when ever we had our adult time for our shared fun........well one day, after a couple of months of us all playing and having our new friendship with them........the male half of the couple tells his wife that he wants to put their marriage on hold, and may not even want a woman in his life at all..........he wants to see if his feels of having a male to male relationship is what he wants, and that she can still have a female to female relationship with who ever she wants but no guys...........so here we are again, still very much involved in her life, since they became such good friends, but here we are again looking for that special couple to have fun and a friendship with.......but it does work having friends with the bonus of fun in the bedroom too.......i guess thats why theres so many single out there, you only have to get along with one person........just my two cents on this post.........hope everyone has fun and a great time in the style. j

[willyoats]

It's a mixed bag. Most of the couples we have had sex with are a distant memory and are out of contact. A few are now what you would call acquaintences, i.e., folks you know and can have a good time with, but who are not what anybody would classify as friends. There are ony two exceptions out of dozens of encounters, i.e., folks we have had some form of sex with but who are good friends beyond the sexual relationship. .

Then there are the non-swinging nudist who are quite good friends. They know that we are swingers, but they don't hold it against us. In a couple of instances, we have swung with another couple at a party and then go to stay the night in our (non-swinging ) friend's RV. They know what we were doing, and sometimes we even talk about it, but they aren't interested in having a sexual relationship within the friendship. They sometimes go to the swing parties, or even host one, without swinging.

Finally, there are two women I had sex with as part of a foursome more than 10 years ago, with whom I still have a sexual realtionship without my wife or their husband being involved any more. In one case we are truly lovers. In the other, we are really just good friends who just happen to have sex with each other a few times a year.

[Pensacolapair]

Originally Posted by willyoats

It's a mixed bag. Most of the couples we have had sex with are a distant memory and are out of contact. A few are now what you would call acquaintences, i.e., folks you know and can have a good time with.....

That's very close to how our 'bag' is mixed...except we do have a few couples we have known for years with whom great friendships have formed. Although we live quite a distance from each other now, we still communicate on a regular basis, visit when an opportunity presents itself, etc.

[bbwcouple38]

We try to be friends first. We have met a few cpls that we became friends with but they wouldn't understand that we was just not attracted to them in a sexual way. Needless to say we are no longer friends with them. So we voted ups and downs.

[Frognlisa]

I saw without any hesitation YES!!!! You can swing and be friends with playmates. We like friends, we like playmates, we liking swinging playmates as friends.
Our play group, we have had family outtings, the rules there are simple keep it vanilla and show respect to all, like no tongue kissing Billiesue in front of her kids, and John keeping his hands off Sally's boobs. It worked out great and all had a fab time!!!

We have been here for weddings, divorces, births, miscarriages, births and unfortunately death.

We are blessed with such great friends we are just one big kinky happy family.

[WeMayTryIt]

When we started, we pretty much just wanted no-strings-attached sex. While we obviously had to have something in common with people we played with we preferred to keep swinging totally separated from our vanilla life. Well, we now have become good friends with a couple, and it's been great. We all have a lot in common, there's attraction all around, as well as a comfort level. We can get together in a vanilla setting, with or without kids, just as we would any other vanilla couple. They're the kind of people that we'd hang out with if we were all vanilla. So far, friends with benefits is really working out better than we'd ever imagined.. It's very nice to have friends with whom there is nothing to be on guard about. With the exception of light flirting, we do keep our cross-couple contact strictly to the bedroom, during active play time. Having that clear delineation helps avoid any misunderstandings of possible inappropriate emotional attachment.

[velbuzz]

No matter what one is doing, to find a friend is always a good thing.

[des1re06]

This is a difficult topic. Do we have friends in the LS, Yes.

We have dear friends (the type that will visit you in the hospital) and some acquaintances.

We don't own our friends, and they don't own us. If we're at a party at the same time, we don't have to stick by their side and only play with them, and vice versa.

If someone becomes too possessive, we're likely to back off. I hear all the time comments like: "We were having a great time, and they suddenly won't contact us anymore."

My advice to newbies wanting friends first is: don't become possessive. If that great friend suddenly withdraws, you'll know why.

[LFM2]

Yeah, we're casual friends with the ones that we've played with and we love making friends with those people we haven't met yet. We're not into friends first before we play but if we end up friends, that's cool.

[Malachista]

No
I can not play with LS people who have become close to me in a friendship kind of way. This even goes as far as that I will leave a public room if I see that they are there engaged in play with someone else.

[tittietwister]

As a couple who has felt on the fringes of the lifestyle because of our friends first preference I have to say the poll results and comments are encouraging, to say the least. I sense that some may have different views on what constitutes an emotional connection but regardless, this is great!