Same Room or Seperate Room?

[Tia Vampire]

Does any of you other newbies feel the same way i do when it comes to being in the same room with your husband, bf, or partner? I mean when we started into this, one of our rules was always to be in the same room, but a situation came up where we were seperated and i found it easier for me. I don't like my fiance watching me enjoy sex with another man. I can't get get into it. I also have a guilty feeling of being with another man in front of him. He says it does not bother him. it does not bother me to be in the same room with him and another girl, but i can't watch him brcause, yes it do get a little jealous. Especially when he is making her moan and groan. I rather for us to go do our thing with the person and share stories afterward. Am i trying to change the rules? and am i wrong for it? I asked for the newbies to answer this question, but i would also love to hear what others may have to say. Thank you all for your responses.

[Mr. Truelove]

Some play together, some play seperate. It just all depends on what you want. There is no handbook of swinging that I am aware of. But I would make sure that your fiance and you are both comfortable with whichever you choose. Looks like you have some more talking to do...

Mr. Truelove

[flkeyscouple]

I agree with Mr. Truelove. You two have some more talking to do. There is no wrong or right.

I, personally, enjoy the same room rule. I can't speak for Roger but I think he enjoys it too. He says he likes to watch me, and I know I enjoy watching him with his partner. I like to listen more than watch, actually. But I know he's there and he's enjoying himself. I was surprised after the first time... because I wasn't jealous. I think we'd talked enough about all sorts of possibilities that nothing surprised me.

Keep talking. Whatever you two are comfortable with is what it should be. Changing the rules, when agreed upon by both parties, is not a bad thing. It's simply a 'growing' thing.

Sarah

[VanHlebar]

Hi Tia!

MrsVan and I have done both the seperate room and same room. Our preference is for same room play for many many reasons. We won't do seperate room with just any couple. This only occurs once we feel comfortable with them as a couple for various reasons, but safety is one of my largest ones.

I do agree with you that the times we have done seperate rooms I have been able to relax more and just go. For me, I think this has more to do with I am not paying attention to MrsVan than it does that I am uncomfortable with being with another woman in front of her.

Both options offer some appeal to us and well we just kind of go with the flow with things. As others have already said, there is no hand book. You just need to talk and communicate your preference to your SO and explain why you have those preferences and see where things go.

Have Fun!

-Van

[iapr]

If noone ever changed the rules or altered their behaviours after learning more and gaining more experience we would still be living in caves and catching mice for breakfast. Now that you have been experiencing different things it may be time for some long talks. What is key is not that you are feeling a certain way or that your preferences may be changing but rather that you two are able to reconcile the changes and be able to come to understandings and agreements. The time to do this is long before you are in a situation that calls for a decision to made and not to try and change any rules in the heat of the moment.

[couplewanting50]

This is a simple poll. Do you prefer same room play or separate room play? Let's say that playing alone is lumped in with separate room play. This is not really a poll for singles, it is for couples.

[BiloxiCouple]

You might need a third option for the poll. It doesn't matter.

We prefer both.

[CB_n_Red]

Originally Posted by BiloxiCouple

We prefer both.

Same here!

CB

[fun4Ds]

straight up, we prefer same room.we wouldn't have it any other way.we are just to excited about each other.

honestly,we were talking about this yesterday.i doubt things will ever change.

mr.fun

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

i doubt things will ever change.

Same here.

We've tried some "playing separate" scenarios in the past and may again in the future, but those are very rare (I can count them on my thumbs, in fact) - and usually specific to a certain fantasy - and it has only occurred with friends we've played with together.

Spoomonkey

[couplewanting50]

Originally Posted by BiloxiCouple

You might need a third option for the poll. It doesn't matter.

We prefer both.

I wanted to add a third possibility: Both alternatives are equally acceptable.

But, it would not let me edit the poll. I don't see why. vBulletin supports that possibility.

[TNT]

Originally Posted by couplewanting50

I wanted to add a third possibility: Both alternatives are equally acceptable.

But, it would not let me edit the poll. I don't see why. vBulletin supports that possibility.

Only the Admin/Mod can change polls once they are posted.


Teresa

[sexcupid]

I answered either is acceptable...if the opportunity for same room is there and all is cool, we'll take it. But our first preference is separate room if possible. I am too easily distracted by others around me to be able to get to an orgasm (even if I'm playing with my SO), so if that's on the other male's agenda, then we better find a bit of privacy. If it's not, let's go. lol

Maria

[WesternSwing]

For us "Both alternatives are equally acceptable". We are very comfortable with both. For myself, I feel my partner gets more attention from me when we do separate room play because I am a total voyeur and get distracted easy by others (mainly Mrs. WS being the porn star she is ) in the room.

Mr. WS

[socolais]

This is always an active topic around here and I have a hard time understanding why folks would have such a strong preference either way (we consider it a "red flag" if they want it only one way). When we were making our initial list of rules and boundaries, we both felt either way had something good about it and specifically wanted to try both flavors. Our first lifestyle encounter started as separate room and later she and her playmates climbed in bed with us - Hot diggity damn!!!!

I get a really cool sexual charge out of glancing over at my wife with her playmate(s) and exchanging smiles and winks - if we're close enough, we'll hold hands or kiss each other while we're boinking our playmates. Sometimes, I'll massage her foot because that's all I can reach at the moment (she knows my touch and it adds something special to the encounter). The intensity of the sensations is a total WOW!!! I think that's what group sex is all about.

On the other hand, separate rooms means I get to concentrate on my playmate while I imagine her moaning and groaning in overwhelming pleasure. When my wife and I get back together, I see that look of satisfaction in her eyes and her glowing rosy cheeks - it instantly recharges my batteries and makes me want to go again - with her. So maybe the best part of separate room play is getting back with her after a round of play and sharing a bottle of water. I can tell by the way she looks at me that she's had fun.

So I guess I have a slight preference toward same room, and within reach. But I have a stronger preference for variety.

We still want to arrange separate locations, connected by cell phones in speaker mode (maybe web cams).