What does it take to scare you away?

[HotMoCpl]

I selected ALL of them....including E. That would be 'all of the above'.

[HotMoCpl]

If you are not a risk taker this is not the lifestyle for you.[/quote]

I'm not too sure about that. Sure, we're all risking something everyday, but there's no reason to be foolhardy. Risk assessment and mimimunize risk.

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by good times

I'm with Stoutgatte here, I figure we have probably encountered all of these things in the various people we have played with, whether we knew it or not.

Yeah, you don't really know if the couple has had a 100 sex partners unless they brag about it. One of our play couples has been in the lifestyle for 5 years. We don't think they are very indescriminate, but who knows? In 5 years, you could potentially have been with ALOT of people. We get to know everyone we play with, so that we can kinda see what their play habits are like, so that we can decide whether we think there's an extra risk to being with them, but since we don't know what they're doing 24/7, for all we know, they could be having gangbangs at their houses every weekend. Reason number 564 why we use condoms....

[graygo98]

When you think about it the way P&D put it, then 100 may not be all that big a number. Someone in the lifestyle for seven or ten years and with a moderately active single life in days gone by could easily come close, I would think. The only thing really scary about huge numbers might be that it could indicate a bit of an obsession.

Which gets to the thing that probably scares us off fastest... people that seem obsessive or needy. You know, you don't return an email right away and there are four increasingly whiny follow-ups "wondering what's going on" ... all posted hours (or minutes) apart. Run and Hide.....

In the case I am thinking of, that really turned us off a second meeting. Thank God they (it was the Male that was the obsessive one) only had an email and doesn't know last names or live in the same city.

The rest of the items listed are just factors that go into the mix ... weigh them and act according to your own comfort level and take appropriate precautions. Which may, in some circumstances, be Run and Hide...

Oh, and as someone else said, the green bits are a bit of a put off too...

[DBL D]

How about very aggressive people! (And just plain Rude)

We knew a couple that was a soft-swapping duo. We had met them a few times in the hope that they would want to go farther with us than that. Once we ran into them at a dance and while the lady was quiet and reserved, he was nuzzling up on Fem D. Just too into her space, KWIM? BTW, across the table from them was a couple whom they had invited to that dance and here he was paying all that attention to my wife. That was the experience that turned us off to them. We thought he was very rude to do what he did.

Male D

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by graygo98

Which gets to the thing that probably scares us off fastest... people that seem obsessive or needy. You know, you don't return an email right away and there are four increasingly whiny follow-ups "wondering what's going on" ... all posted hours (or minutes) apart. Run and Hide.....

Dito We agree, needy and obsessive people are scary as all hell!

[graygo98]

[quote=DBL D]How about very aggressive people! (And just plain Rude)

Yeah, that too. Attitude is more of a turn-off (or turn on) than how many/few people he/she/they might have been with.

[northindycpl]

I selected all of the options plus other too. My other would be in the catagory of self-respect. We look for couples that are clean, professional, have good communication, and just generally look like they have some mystery to them.

[todesireu]

Poor hygiene, bad manners(especially toward women),lack of sense of humor, unwilling to use condoms and from what I've read about disease risks related to tattoos(hepatitis C)

[CliffandKeira]

Originally Posted by todesireu

Poor hygiene, bad manners(especially toward women),lack of sense of humor, unwilling to use condoms and from what I've read about disease risks related to tattoos(hepatitis C)

You really don't have to worry about tattoo's (used to work in a tattoo shop) or piercings for that matter. At least here in FL you don't. Tattoo shops get inspected regularly and if there are any infractions they (the shop) get shut down. All needles (everywhere I've worked) are single use disposable needles. If you're looking into getting a body mod, when you go into a shop ask for the artists portfolio, to see the level of work he's done, and ask about their needles. If they aren't single use disposable needles, don't get work done there.

Keira

No protection = No Sex! And personality Does matter.

[JustAskJulie]

^bumpity bump bump bump^

[VegasLee]

I found this poll interesting when you started it years ago and it still has me thinking today.

It appears that most of applies it to the "number of people" that people have had sex with.

I know people outside of the lifestyle that have has sex with over 100 people in their lifetime. Yes, I am "older" and have been around the lifestyle since I was a teenager. We were SWINGERS back then.

Since I am older does the base line number get to be higher than someone in their 20's?

Since this our "Lifestyle" and not just a once a month hobby to us do we get a higher baseline of people we can play with before we are on the evil side of things?

How do people know how many people I have had sex with? I don't have a badge that flashes the number and that is not a question that anyone that I have ever played with has asked me. We get asked that at times on line by the trolls but in about thirty years no one has personally asked me that question. I have never asked that question of others either.

I would have to believe that people must do a lot of assuming about the sexual activities of others to be able to say they will or will not play with them because of numbers.

I believe I would be more concerned about looking for evidence of drug use then I would be of a lot of sexual activity.

[Tia Vampire]

This is the very reason why some people don't keep their certs. You have others snooping to find out who you've been with and if they find out that you have been with someone that they do not like, or find unattractive, that's it for them wanting to get with you.

We are more concerned about catching an STD from an unclean person. No, you can not tell just from sight, but there are clues that will lead you to believe that a person is not taking care of themselves. This is another reason why we like to get to know a couple before we just jump into bed with them.

If a couple tells us, while we are getting to know each other better, that they do not like to use condoms or they are into bi play, that would scare us away. We don't care about how many partners you may have had, Just do you protect yourself while being with those people.

[djjwp]

We met a couple that was lets say "well certified". She was a doll but he had to list all their partners and named names and companies. Can you say no discretion? RUN!!!!!

There is no way to tell for sure who people have been with so the other options, I could not answer to them, I feel that is something you have to have a feel for. (and hope you are right)