Personal Ads - Yes or No

[ranchcouple3]

We are also ad users, mainly because there are no clubs in our area. It does take time, but as we are newbies and pretty cautious, it might be all our fault.

ranchcouple3

[BiNWAR]

Unfortunaltly we dont have any clubs in our area and even if we did my hubby isnt comfortable around huge groups of people, hes kind of shy. Now me I would have a blast at one of the clubs and would love to go.
We mostly look for single males which is kind of hard because you never know whats going to be on the other end. The ones we have talked to have been respectful but that doesnt mean in person they would be.
We did meet one couple from SLS and boy they were pushy and wanted us to drop down and have sex right there on the first meeting, they couldnt carry a conversation unless it had to do with sex and the hubby kept grabbing her various body parts and calling her sexy bottom and sexy this and sexy that. Im sorry but we are affectionate but they were sickening....That right there almost stopped us from swinging (we are pretty new)but we decided that maybe there is a couple out there online that is just like us and looking for a sane good time.

[ohmy69]

I too have used the ad's on SLS and BayCouples...........and amazingly I have had really good response with mine. One of my biggest compliants with the site and the people who use them is that most people don't responde one way or the other to your emails. I feel it just polite to reply even if your not interested. It will save you time and them time in the long run if you just be honest...........No thank you mean the same thing on the websites as it does in the clubs - NO EXPLAINATION NECESSARY - just no thank you.

[jennandjamesinm]

We have an ad posted on SLS and also go to clubs. I like SLS better, not as much of a meat market. We have a couple of prospective dates soon too.

[rascalone]

have had good luck with ads

[DJTriad]

We have been very fortunate in that we have met and made a lot of great friends through ads like swappernet. Of course, we always do prior screenings such as trading pics, chatting, and a phone call.

[RANDJ4FUN]

We prefer to meet old friends at private parties and we do go to clubs. When we are in the mood we usually meet single males (for MFM) on ad sites.

[blondie77]

The only way we've met other swingers is through the internet. In the area we live in it's very hard to meet like-minded people. We live in the "boondocks" so to speak and don't have any clubs within a hundred miles. Nor do we have any big towns within two hours driving distance that would cater to this lifestyle. So we are stuck doing the online thing, which is very time consuming and can be frustrating at times, but we're left with no other options. We have met quite a few wonderful people, though we always have to travel a bit.....that's the price we pay to have fun, I guess...haha.

[Amanda69]

No..tried them in the past...too difficult to make connections and too many players out there. The best way to meet is always in person so at the clubs or parties.

[2jersey]

In a perfect world, we would probably prefer online ad sites over the more direct way of meeting people – clubs and parties. The ‘imperfection’ we allude to is that the ad sites include a lot of insincere people who hide behind a cloak of anonymity while playing head games with people. Unfortunately, even the relatively sincere people don’t seem to put a lot of serious thought into creating a seductive and meaningful profile - and many seem to have the same careless disregard when reading the profiles of others.

We understand the point of view of those who assert that there is no substitute for meeting in person. This statement is irrefutably accurate – unless one is interested in cybersex. We would never make a play decision until meeting in person, and we expect the same from others. The purpose/usefulness of ad sites, in our opinion, relates to the opportunity to pre-screen people as an early indication of compatibility. For us, pre-screening (online) has advantages in the areas of safety and efficiency.

Illustration: We live in a NYC suburb and we often get notes from people in New York City – “Do you want to meet up for drinks”? Well, yes, that might be nice. However, let us factor in the need for a babysitter, a two-to-three hour roundtrip commute, and the commitment of a scarce and valuable weekend evening. If we sit down with a couple for a half-hour at a bar and leave unimpressed – is it worth our ‘costs’? We believe it is worth exploring these meetings, on occasion – but only when we have pre-screened someone online and have a good sense that we might be compatible when we meet face-to-face.

As with many/most people, we don’t have any clubs within a convenient distance from our home. However, with clubs we can at least play the numbers game. If, for example, we could ‘speed date’ 10 couples in a couple of hours (i.e. have a series of brief private conversations), there would probably be a good chance of finding someone with whom we could hook up. And if things didn’t workout on a given evening – it is not as if we have wasted ten nights in the process.

[LikeMinds321]

Our thoughts are the same as 2jersey's. We like using personal ads for the same reasons.

Originally Posted by 2jersey

In a perfect world, we would probably prefer online ad sites over the more direct way of meeting people – clubs and parties. The ‘imperfection’ we allude to is that the ad sites include a lot of insincere people who hide behind a cloak of anonymity while playing head games with people. Unfortunately, even the relatively sincere people don’t seem to put a lot of serious thought into creating a seductive and meaningful profile - and many seem to have the same careless disregard when reading the profiles of others.

We discovered this as well, it was frustrating at first, but over time we have developed a good sense of who is who, and whether it's worth it to start up an email dialogue.

We aren't into long-term email in order to find out things that will only lead to us telling them "we don't feel we'd be compatible" so we patiently wait until a profile appears that looks extremely promising. It takes longer to meet people this way, but for me - since I'm the one who does the searches and initially writes - it avoids the headaches and disappointment I had in the beginning.

LM

[slimdp]

the online thing is (should be) a great tool. although you alway have that couple that is really that single man getting his kicks out of making plans that can't happen. I have found also that most of the profiles seem to be great, I mean you find one and you say "thats it a perfect match", only to find well the other couple wanted to meet someone 1-2 years younger, or maybe 10lbs lighter,or smokers,or so on and so on.
The age this is what really gets me. Where is the brackets. If you are a couple 35ish old and advertised for another couple to do and meet for certain things, and a 50 year old couple answers your post, wait a minute thats to old for us. Why? you want the same thing.
At any rate I find the online sites over rated. And on the other side there are problems with meeting people at clubs also. It is not a easy lifestyle, there is alot of work involved and you don't just decide to pick out a couple for this weekend and have some fun with them.
well thats my 2 cents

[NandTfromCA]

We have used ads and also been to a couple off premise social gatherings. Never tried an on premise club.

Although there are some fakes and flakes online, we just think about it like a numbers game. We have low expectations about the emails we send out or receive from people we don't know...that way when we actually do find a match, our expectations are exceeded.

[krj81]

We have but, I have not had anyone answer as we are new to the swingers style

[gmr45]

I have gone to clubs and have met people over the internet. Yes, there are a some phonies on the internet site, but everyone I have met with has been for real and I still play with some of them to this day. For me it has been a good experience, especially since we do not have any clubs in my area.