Where do newbies/veterans prefer to meet someone for the 1st time?

[spamcatcher]

We're reaching veteran status now, and prefer a vanilla setting to meet new people. Most often it's over a cup of coffee at a Tim Horton's or Panera. Second most frequent would be over dinner at a moderately-priced restaurant.

We're retired and this has us going out to dinner more than we would otherwise, which puts a strain on our budget. We also go out with some friends in the lifestyle so that the 4 of us can meet new prospective playmates at the same time.

[PB&J]

Damn I hate meeting at Timmie's. Now a nice bar, where we can sit, have a drink, and chat in a quiet corner (but with enough background noise to provide cover...). That's ideal. Then if we want to move on from there... we can!

[spamcatcher]

Originally Posted by PB&J

Damn I hate meeting at Timmie's. Now a nice bar, where we can sit, have a drink, and chat in a quiet corner (but with enough background noise to provide cover...). That's ideal. Then if we want to move on from there... we can!

We don't like bars because they're often too noisy and smokey. And drinks are generally a lot more expensive than coffee. On a fixed income, that's a factor.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

We prefer clubs/socials (of any kind) to meet people for the first time.

After a bit more time we've gone back and forth on this a bit. We tried meeting some couples one on one in vanilla settings and just found it to be a huge waste of time. So we now meet people in GROUP settings of some sort. Either at clubs/socials or we now host group dinners. We enjoy the latter as we get to see old friends and make new ones, and if there's a couple we've been wanting to meet it gives us an easy way to do so without the fear/pressure of getting stuck with them for the entire meal (or whatever we have to sit through). And if they don't click with us, there's other couples / options for both of us. The nice thing about the group dinners is it's a lot easier to actually talk to people than at a club or a social.

[The Fuse]

We're two-on-two types, so we enjoy meeting one couple out for drinks. But we only do this if we think there's a good chance we'll like them. Otherwise, one way we have changed over the years is that if we don't think there's an excellent chance of a match, we try to steer it toward a meet and greet or a party.

We just met a new couple at the Cafe in Nordstrom's. That turned out to be an excellent place because it was quiet, had food and wine and beer, and they closed at 8 PM, so that is a good way to either part ways or move on to somewhere more intimate.

I certainly understand those who enjoy meeting new people in a club atmosphere. It is a turn-on. Our issue is that we need to connect on a social level with a couple in order to get excited sexually. That's pretty tough to do in a club. So to each their own.

[JoCoCpl]

We have met in vanilla settings with mixed results - a couple of times it has gone well, other times not so well. We have also met several people for the first time at a local on-premise club, again with mixed results. I would imagine it would depend on the situation and everyone's comfort level. I think our preference is at a lifestyle meet-and-greet function.

Perhaps the biggest "first meeting" mistake we made was to offer to meet a couple at our favorite LS club by saying "you can meet us there and share our table with us." Well, we sat, and we sat, and we sat... we didn't hit it off at all, and both couples felt "trapped" somewhat because we were sharing a table. We've learned to simply say that we'll be at the event, we'll find you at some point during the evening and say hi. No obligation, no clumsy "how do we get away from these people" situations.