is "No Drama" necessary?

[havefuninsun]

With one or two of the threads, we were talking about a woman who was almost stalking a couple (and so badly so, the person posted anonymously instead of under her normal ID). We then started talking about "drama."

Someone then mentioned "that's why I have 'no drama' in our profile."

It got me to thinking.

Who WANTS drama? I mean, really. I think "no drama" is a given; another poster said although they agreed it was a given, she felt it necessary to state it in their profile.

I don't think we have "no drama" -- we say we're looking for normal, next door neighbor types ... I've gotten pretty good at smelling drama a mile away, and have no problem bailing out early if I even ALMOST sense it.

So my question(s) are:

1. Do you REALLY think "no drama" should be in a profile?
2. If you answer YES, do you REALLY think those who cause drama look at their partner and say, "damn Ned. They looked like fine potential folks, but it says here no drama, so I guess we're out"?

It's easy to say "no smokers" or "no drinkers" because it's pretty clear if you smoke or drink. But behavior??

I vote "no drama" words are not necessary. I think it's a given most people do not want any more drama in their lives than what has already been handed to them.

[Chicup]

I think 'no drama' is more of a way to tell other couples that YOU don't have drama issues, it might not be true but its a signal.

We don't want drama so therefore we ourselves are not a 'drama' couple so we will get along with you who of course don't want drama.

I hope that made sense

[Spoomonkey]

Clever poll...

And I am guessing you are going to see 100% vote for the "not necessary" option

You know what I have never seen? A profile that says, "the more drama the better!" or "we are serious drama sluts - so if you are qualified to turn our swing experience into a Jerry Springer show, we are looking for YOU!!!" I suppose when we see that it will completely invalidate your point

You are right. No one is looking for drama and folks who are a mess don't seem to realize it. There isn't a single pregnant teen who is swinging with her uncle behind her aunt's back who reads that and goes, "I think they may be talking about me."

Nope...

You are still getting a PM from them whether you have "no drama" in your profile or not, I'll bet you a donut.

Spoomonkey

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

It got me to thinking.

Who WANTS drama? I mean, really. I think "no drama" is a given; another poster said although they agreed it was a given, she felt it necessary to state it in their profile.

I don't think we have "no drama" -- we say we're looking for normal, next door neighbor types ... I've gotten pretty good at smelling drama a mile away, and have no problem bailing out early if I even ALMOST sense it.

So my question(s) are:

1. Do you REALLY think "no drama" should be in a profile?
2. If you answer YES, do you REALLY think those who cause drama look at their partner and say, "damn Ned. They looked like fine potential folks, but it says here no drama, so I guess we're out"?

It's easy to say "no smokers" or "no drinkers" because it's pretty clear if you smoke or drink. But behavior??

I vote "no drama" words are not necessary. I think it's a given most people do not want any more drama in their lives than what has already been handed to them.

The thinking part is dangerous lol.

As far as 1. goes: you really should NOT have to say "no drama" in your profile. It SHOULD be a given that you do not want to put up with people's issues, insecurities and jealousies. HOWEVER, unfortunately you do...alot. I think its more of a warning than a statement, letting people who do have drama in their lives (and you know when you do, unless you are in complete denial) that this is just not a couple that is going to put up with it.

I wish they weren't necessary. BUT I think that sometimes they are.

But yes, I completely agree with you. People have enough of their own dramas, not to include other's lol.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by havefuninsun

1. Do you REALLY think "no drama" should be in a profile?

I don't see it necessary or productive for the same reasons you stated.

2. If you answer YES, do you REALLY think those who cause drama look at their partner and say, "damn Ned. They looked like fine potential folks, but it says here no drama, so I guess we're out"?

I answered "No" but I'd still like to respond to this question.

I think the "no drama" statement in a profile appears for one - or more - of three reasons:

1. Drama folks include the statement because they don't want to meet people like themselves; they'll bring all the drama needed to the swing.

2. People who say "no drama" have had problems with drama swingers and they are letting us no about something negative they've experienced with swinging.

I always prefer to see profiles worded in a positive light, I don't want to hear about the negative things people have experienced.

3. Drama folks don't even know they are dram folks. So the "no drama" statement goes right over their heads.

4. Newbies feel this is good to include, because it's in so many profiles, but with time and experience I think they realize that the statement doesn't guarantee they won't find drama folks knocking at their e-mail box.

LM

[VanHlebar]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I think the "no drama" statement in a profile appears for one - or more - of three reasons:

1. Drama folks include the statement because they don't want to meet people like themselves; they'll bring all the drama needed to the swing.

2. People who say "no drama" have had problems with drama swingers and they are letting us no about something negative they've experienced with swinging.

I always prefer to see profiles worded in a positive light, I don't want to hear about the negative things people have experienced.

3. Drama folks don't even know they are dram folks. So the "no drama" statement goes right over their heads.

4. Newbies feel this is good to include, because it's in so many profiles, but with time and experience I think they realize that the statement doesn't guarantee they won't find drama folks knocking at their e-mail box.

LM

That was four! Sorry LM...I couldn't resist.

-Van

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by VanHlebar

That was four! Sorry LM...I couldn't resist.

-Van

I like fast guys.

When I started I had three thoughts, but then a fourth spewed from my brain matter.

LM

[VanHlebar]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I like fast guys.

When I started I had three thoughts, but then a fourth spewed from my brain matter.

LM

I'm going to let that one ride.

-Van

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I like fast guys.

I am not so sure you'd like Van's sort of fast...



Spoomonkey

EDIT: This is a joke. This is not based on verifiable information or research. All insinuations are intended to be a way to rib a fellow board member and not intended to question his sexual prowess and virility. Though, unofficially, I am guessing he's a minute man

[flkeyscouple]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

I think its more of a warning than a statement, letting people who do have drama in their lives (and you know when you do, unless you are in complete denial) that this is just not a couple that is going to put up with it.

I disagree. I'd bet that only a small percentage of people with drama in their life actually KNOW they have, or cause, drama. I do agree with the fact that many are in complete denial!! But some people are so comfortable with drama in their lives that they do not consider it 'drama' - it's simply 'normal' to them.

JMO
Sarah

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by flkeyscouple

I disagree. I'd bet that only a small percentage of people with drama in their life actually KNOW they have, or cause, drama. I do agree with the fact that many are in complete denial!! But some people are so comfortable with drama in their lives that they do not consider it 'drama' - it's simply 'normal' to them.

JMO
Sarah

True dat. What I might think of as drama may be everyday living for someone else. Hmmm. Good point. Or, maybe in some circles folks would look at us and say, "for the love of god, Maude, how does that couple put one foot in front of the other?!?" but I don't think so.

And I liked the statement too that maybe those who have "no drama" in their profile have indeed experienced drama. In fact, when I see that theme over and over (not just a simple statement), I am intrigued to find out what exactly prompted that. I want to know the dirt! LOL

(feel free to share the dirt. It's entertaining. We have only had one drama-like experience ... met a couple, started to play, and husband got freaked out and told us that he thought it best for us to get dressed and leave. We had the WTF? look on our faces ... he "blamed" it on his wife; said she was not feeling good about it (uhm, she was having a GOOD time). We think it was him. But that's OK. We haven't played with them since, but stay in contact every now and again and no hard (or otherwise) feelings about it. Maybe it wasn't drama, maybe it was nuthin' but a thang ...)

[BobMcD]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

You are still getting a PM from them whether you have "no drama" in your profile or not, I'll bet you a donut.

Spoomonkey

Is that a Robert Klein donut being chased by a hot dog through the Holland Tunnel?

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by BobMcD

Is that a Robert Klein donut being chased by a hot dog through the Holland Tunnel?

Now it is!

Spoomonkey

[JustAskJulie]

I dont really think that people who cause the drama even realize they are doing it, or are smart enough to stay away from those who ask them to leave it at home.

[Chip_n_Muffy]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I dont really think that people who cause the drama even realize they are doing it, or are smart enough to stay away from those who ask them to leave it at home.

How right you are about that. They just think people don't like them.

"Gee Martha, I wonder why we are getting no action in the lifestyle. Surely the last couple knew we liked them. After all, I e-mailed and IM'd them 15 times a day, called several times during dinner or while they where trying to get dressed for work. I even knocked on their door at midnight once and showed up unannounced at her work to take her to lunch. I wonder why we haven't heard from them lately?"

Sheesh