is "No Drama" necessary?

[cubnamy1995]

Even if somebody knows they are drama, they will contact you anyway.

[des1re06]

We put that we are drama free in our profile, because we have no jealousy issues. We don't cause drama-period. If there is an issue with the couple/single we're with, we will discuss it in private.

That's what we mean by drama free.

Should we not put that in our profile?

We know that won't stop those who tend to cause drama to contact us.

Mrs. D

[socolais]

I guess we all define drama (and attempt to avoid it) in our own unique ways. Our strategy for avoiding drama is basically to play with experienced swingers - it's working so far.

I define drama as freaking out because of some event and possibly crying or arguing with each other (stuff that really kills the mood for everyone in the area). I don't see politely "choosing to not play right now" as drama (no matter what was previously understood) - I see that as a smart way to deal with an unfamiliar or unexpcted event.

I think there's a higher probability of drama among beginners and while no one is completely immune to irrational thought affecting their behavior, I see experienced couples as a MUCH lower risk. As beginners ourselves, our playmates are taking a larger drama risk than we are - and we appreciate their risk tolerance. I find it comforting to think if there's any drama interrupting the playtime, it's more likely coming from us - and that aint happening. It's just like the line given to swing virgins about how it's impossible to predict our emotional reaction to the events in a "normal" playtime, but it is possible to control our behavior so we don't ruin the party for everyone else. I may not be able to predict my thoughts about a particular activity or conditions and if it's presented in the spirit of sexual fun, I'm likely to give it a try. If I need more time to think about it, I'll just quietly sit down and contemplate or maybe say our good-bys for the evening.

So, when I see "no drama" in a profile, I immediately think they prefer to play with experienced swingers or folks that are serious about having fun with just about anything that happens.

[lost_j1]

J.M.O., but I want to think that some really don't realize it. BUT, there are others that do tend to spite each other. Or it's one or the other that don't really want to swing and is going along so they don't loose the marraige. We have found if you do not state what exactly you want or looking. That we get some off the wall emails that are not what we are looking for. So yes we state what we are looking for.

[Tybee Swing]

Rather than just falling back on the word "drama" and leaving it for the reader to decide what drama is, we spell it out, instead. We clarify that we want to meet with people who are sure of what they want in swinging, and are very secure and solid in their relationship. It might not keep the nutjobs away entirely, but at least it's more clear.

[prettylady]

OH MY GOD I hate drama, why in gods name do people have to make a huge deal and ruin everyone else good time. The e mails, the pms, the constant pestering and bitching and carring on with out letting another person get a word in edge wise. If ever Dog was being this way I would give him an earful right then and there. It is wrong I tell you WRONG and I am not going to stand for it.

I don't like drama queens, I am not one, but I am sure that the truly dramtic doesn't even know they are a pain in the ass.

Your friend,
Prettylady

[badboyooplik]

You know for years I've been trying to figure out exactly what this "drama" that these peoples profiles will talk about.

The worst drama I've ever encountered is a girl that was part of a couple getting pissy becuase one of the single guys who was supposed to leave early wasn't leaving. So she sat down on the floor and pouted til the guy left. She never said to him, "you need to take off now." She just got mad and pouted. That is the absolute most drama I have ever encountered in a true swinging situation. I had some drama occur in a situation that for the most part had become a polygynous relationship but never at a party or when meeting new couples.

So I'm not really sure what constitutes drama. Doesn't everyone have a few problems in thier personal lives? I do, but I don't bring them to the swing.

[JustAskJulie]

I've been thinking about this question lately because "drama" seems so prevalent among other people we talk to. I look at our profile and think, maybe we should throw that in , we don't want drama after all. Then I think, putting "no drama" in your profile is equivalent to inviting the drama to yourself.

I think it goes without saying that MOST people don't want or like drama, so why should you put that in your profile? Some things are just obvious (or at least they should be). And it does seem like most of the people we've encountered that put it in their profiles, are exactly the people who are full of drama.

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I think it goes without saying that MOST people don't want or like drama, so why should you put that in your profile? Some things are just obvious (or at least they should be).

As much as they may try to avoid drama, some people have personalities that attract it like a magnet. Forgive them, for they know not what they do.

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

And it does seem like most of the people we've encountered that put it in their profiles, are exactly the people who are full of drama.

We also find this to be true. The fact that they have drama in their lives is seemingly what compels them to add "no drama" to their profiles. The rest of us don't even give it a second thought.

As a general rule, we try to keep our profile sounding positive by listing all of the things we do want rather than listing all of the things we don't want.

[sweet_tna]

We don't have "no drama" in our profile, nor have we really encountered any thus far (knocks on wood). Maybe it's because of the silly way we went about writing our profile--complete with movie quotations and a "script" of the conversation Mr. Sweet and I had while figuring out what to write. It probably comes off to those drama-loving folks like we don't take ourselves seriously enough . . . lol.

I don't really think that putting "no drama" in your profile will really deter any of those tyes of couples (since they probably don't know they're like that anyway). But if it makes you feel better to do so, then by all means, do so.

=)

[i10v3m0n3y]

i dont think you could ever get away from drama. its part of human nature.

[JustAskJulie]

We figured it out.

"No Drama" = Don't bring us your drama because we have enough of our own

[theflamekasters]

We dont want drama, but we have come to realize that it is just part of the game

[xplor69]

HAHAHAHA!!! I love this question bc I have wondered the same thing! When I see "We are/I am "drama free", I wonder if that's pertaining to JUST the lifestyle or the whole picture. I have even been asked in an INITIAL message..."Do you have any drama?"...I didn't really know what to say to that, except "I enjoy this lifestyle for the benefits of escaping the dramas of everyday life". THHHEEEENNNN he wrote back and ended up telling me his life story...too weird! LOL

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by xplor69

HAHAHAHA!!! I love this question bc I have wondered the same thing! When I see "We are/I am "drama free", I wonder if that's pertaining to JUST the lifestyle or the whole picture. I have even been asked in an INITIAL message..."Do you have any drama?"...I didn't really know what to say to that, except "I enjoy this lifestyle for the benefits of escaping the dramas of everyday life". THHHEEEENNNN he wrote back and ended up telling me his life story...too weird! LOL

Perfect example. He thinks everyone else is bringing the drama to him... but his need to tell you his entire life story pretty well let's you know where the drama lies.

We were talking about this this weekend and decided that there are basically two types of couples, those who bring the drama and those who are smart enough to identify it and walk away from it. The latter doesn't want it but we realize that telling the former that really won't do us any good.