Couples swinging individually

[oddcouple2841]

This is K (the male)

This question is really only for the couples out there. A reply I made to the question by justlookinbuddy put this question in my head.

This is what I wrote

I would not rule out couples with a bi female. I would let S go with alone with a girl but would first want to chat together with the couple and meet somewhere safe as couples like a bar or restaraunt just to make sure the others were real and determine whether she would be safe meeting alone. There are too many single males or cheaters out there pretending to be a couple, S has already had this experience and luckly he did not physically force himself on her. So you can see while we would be less trusting about just the ladies meeting.

After we both had judged the others as real and the safety issue had been taken care of if S wanted to go alone for meetings with just the lady I would not have a problem with that. Acutally with our schedules and the lack of "bi" males in couples or ladies that just have too many rules for the male half this type of relationship might work out better for us. It is awful hard to get all four people to click even if two of them do real well.

How many of you think that letting one member of a couple carry on a relationship that the other really did not participate in or did not participate as often in? My motto is "what is good for the goose is good for the gander" so you might want to keep this in mind when considering the question.

I was just wondering and I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on this matter. What would be the potential problems or issues that everyone can think of.

P.S. I voted probably

[Tybee Swing]

I voted maybe, but the question doesn't really fit what we'd do if the situation was right for it.

We're a swing-together couple, but we're both open to the idea of me having a friendship with a woman/women in which we could have sex alone, sometimes. We see this as happening with a couple we're already with as a couple, and have become friends with - so the "relationship" part would be all of us as friends. Letting the girls be alone sometimes for sex, would be just an extension of that friendship. It wouldn't be me out forging separate relationships, so to speak. Make sense? By the way, my husband's the one that brought it up, that he'd like for me to have a friend like that.

[oddcouple2841]

Perhaps I should have been a little clearer. Myself I would consider letting S meet with couple, woman or even a single male if I knew them and trusted them not to hurt her or force her into something she did not want to do or try to come between us. We really have not had time to discuss this issue but I would like to think she would do the same for me.

With schedules and such sometimes it is just not possible to meet with people that often. Alone it would really be easier for us. There is also the issue of getting four people to all hit it off so to speak though that would be our preference. I also know she would have a much easier time attracting people without me for an anchor but we could take turns babysitting which would allow the other to get away more. These are the only reasons that I am even considering this.

We will really have to discuss this between ourselves before we make any decisions but I would like everyone's input because someone might just point out something that we would not have considered otherwise.

[flkeyscouple]

Our vote is 'no'. Pure and simple - No.

We are in this together and we like it that way. We don't even like separate rooms when we play. In fact we prefer same bed!!

I'd say that a good portion of our enjoyment is seeing each other during the swap.

Sarah

[LFM2]

I chose "no". The situation has never been presented to us, but we are a "swing-together" couple and even though I doubt Mr. LFM would have a problem with me having sex with a woman, I would have a problem with this, because I want him included in everything I do. I hope that made sense!

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by oddcouple2841

Perhaps I should have been a little clearer. Myself I would consider letting S meet with couple, woman or even a single male if I knew them and trusted them not to hurt her or force her into something she did not want to do or try to come between us. We really have not had time to discuss this issue but I would like to think she would do the same for me.

With schedules and such sometimes it is just not possible to meet with people that often. Alone it would really be easier for us. There is also the issue of getting four people to all hit it off so to speak though that would be our preference. I also know she would have a much easier time attracting people without me for an anchor but we could take turns babysitting which would allow the other to get away more. These are the only reasons that I am even considering this.

We will really have to discuss this between ourselves before we make any decisions but I would like everyone's input because someone might just point out something that we would not have considered otherwise.

I understand your logic and reasoning on this, since you have babysitter issues, schedule conflicts, etc. Whether this could work out well for you two just really depends on the two of you. This definitely wouldn't work for everybody. It would take a lot more work and more communicating between you to make sure that an open marriage didn't detract from your relationship with each other.

A primary concern is that since you're already busy people with busy lives, raising kids (who seem to take every spare minute you thought you had), you probably have little enough time for your own intimate lives together - right? I mean, quality time for the two of you to spend connecting and keeping your passion burning for each other, in and out of the bedroom. Good relationships require time and effort. So when you have additional relationships, sometimes it becomes a challenge to keep up with so much and still have any energy and time for each other. Going for separate "relationships" means more opportunity for more complicated feelings to be added to the mix. Spending time intimately and separately with others is not as easy as having just plain old recreational sex as a couple, in this sense. You'd have to examine carefully if you and your wife, and your marriage, can really handle that.

Sometimes, something that sounds so logical and sensible on paper can turn out to be far more complicated in real life.

Originally Posted by oddcouple2841

We really have not had time to discuss this issue but I would like to think she would do the same for me.

It would take a whole lot of discussion with her, to see if this could work out.
You might want to start making that time to talk.

[Mrs.PaganLovers]

Nope not even a chance. We play together only. That is the whole enjoyment for us. If one of us is missing then there is no purpose and the whole thing would be a turnoff.

Blessings
Mrs. PL

[tribbles]

Highly unlikely BUT....we have met couples who when one partner became ill and unable to play or unwilling to play, they DID sent the healthy one out to socialize with friends from many years, at parties, where they did have sex with others.

So I won't say No cuz I dunno the future.

S

[JustAskJulie]

I initially put "not likely" but I think it does depend on the situation. At this point in our relationship (where we haven't even actually swung together) the answer would be a definate no. DOwn the road should we find a couple that we click with and become good friends I may feel differently. That said, I do see a difference between opposite sex swinging and same sex swinging... and my opinion does change when you are talking about a situation where it's two bi girls (or guys) getting together on their own.

[SouthBond]

We have found that we act one way when in a group situation and another way when alone with the other person. In the group setting we seem to be more in a porno movie mode. It's mainly about sex. When one on one behind closed doors, it seems to be more of a tender love mode. After 5 years of swinging, everyone in our group has been able to handle the emotions of one on ones. But it can be dangerous, if the spouse should actually fall in love with the other person. I guess then, you just call yourself Poly and keep on swinging.

[ShellyM]

I don't think I would, no. I think I would be open to him having sex with another woman with me there, but not like some couples do. I know a couple who call themselves straight swingers, but really they are poly. Seriously, they have sex with the others spouses more than with their own...they do weekends away and shit. Anyways, they are comfortable with it. I don't know about that, I don't think Jay would go for it.

I guess never say never. If we were in a relationship with a married couple and we were completely trusting of them that there would be no love involved I think I would consider it. But I would have to be completely trusting of them in all ways.

[Chip_n_Muffy]

We have both soloed at times, mainly due to work schedule. And after the initial thrill of something different, we both concluded we prefer to play together. It is just plain more fun to share .......

Chip

[sexyshelby]

I would have voted, but "yes" wasn't an option.

We both have had separate encounters, although I'm not sure they would be considered relationships, as stated in the poll question. We don't have a problem with it, and it really is just more practical for us.

~SS

[leftcoastcouple]

We have, we would, and we will.

Playing alone introduces an entirely different dynamic than playing together, probably because of the simple fact that you don't know what's going on, if you're not the one involved that time, or if you are, that you are being trusted to play solo. It takes a great deal of trust by both partners, and it's incredibly fun and exciting.

I realize playing alone is not for everyone, and many folks consider it something other than swinging. But we consider it just another way of playing, plain and simple. And if you can stomach the fear and trust your partner, trust me, it's gooooood.

And hey, now that I think about it, how come no "definitely" option in your survey, hmmm?

[VanHlebar]

Well I voted probably, but yes should have been an option.

We are a couple that plays together and that is our main preference. Now, if MrsVan wanted to meet a lady alone after I got to know her, just personally, not sexually, then that would never be a problem with me. I would not allow MrsVan and I know MrsVan would not want to, meet a single guy alone period. Maybe that's a double standard, but that's just the way it is for us.

If we were very comfortable with a couple I would allow MrsVan play alone with that couple under the right circumstances. We have done this a couple of times in the past and it can be fun, but this would never be something that we would do on a regular basis and not something that we would do with any person/couple until we had already established a good friendship with them and they understood us very well.

-Van