Poll: Breaking in 'Newbies'

[2jersey]

Quoted from an SLS profile (no, not ours):

"We have no prior experience to swinging or really anything. Anything which happens from this point on will be interesting for both of us, since we have not done anything as of yet."

This may be a yellow flag for certain experienced swingers.

[NandTfromCA]

We really don’t care how experienced a couple is. We are more concerned that everyone is excited to meet, interested in the potential of getting naked, and in a stable relationship.

If they are all of those, then game on!

[VanHlebar]

Originally Posted by NandTfromCA

We really don’t care how experienced a couple is. We are more concerned that everyone is excited to meet

Check!

Originally Posted by NandTfromCA

interested in the potential of getting naked

Check!

Originally Posted by NandTfromCA

and in a stable relationship.

If they are all of those, then game on!

Check!!!

So when would you like to get together?

-Van

[Thron&Thor]

Hmmm...it is not the new thrill, but the genuine fun of "sharing & giving" the first time between any two couples. So being a newbie just means more attention is applied to all to ensure that all get the release they seek and feeling the expression of sheer freedom with new smiles around for everyone.

[VANudistcpl]

We were all new at one time or another. That being said we take it very slow when getting together with newbies for the majority of reasons listed here. Yes newbies are flighty and can bring all the drama of a soap opera, so being cautious is probably the best solution.

[kittyscave]

I had to chime in on this one! Our very first experience was this past weekend. The couple we were with have been in the lifestyle for over 4 years. From my perspective they did several things "right" in working with us.

First, we exchanged several e-mails through which we found many commonalities and which helped me decide that we likely would click. We also shared several photos that were not sexually explicit. There were other folks with whom we exchanged e-mails who did come across as a bit more aggressive - both in words and photos, and it did scare me away.

Second, we had a very nice dinner together with no explicit expectations of hooking up afterwards. We talked until we realized the restaurant was closing and we needed to go. At this point, we all seemed to really feel comfortable together.

Third, we went to a club a couple of weeks after our dinner. We all met at a hotel beforehand, the ladies got changed and had some "girl time" while the guys hung out in the lobby. By the time we made it to the club, we were all really relaxed and had a great time with one another. By the time we made it back to the room, none of us was nervous or anxious at all.

The entire first experience was great. Our new friends were perhaps a little more patient with us than some folks would be in setting the pace. But, we can't wait to get back together with them.

So, although many newbies, I am sure, are nervous and awkward a first, having a patient and understanding experienced couple can certainly result in an excellent outcome for all!

[socolais]

Kittyscave, I think it's great that the four of yall had such a good time together and I think you two deserve a lot of the credit for the success of the encounter. You read the posts on this board and asked thoughtful questions to prepare yourselves - in short, you did your homework. I also have respect for the other couple. It takes a lot of patience and constant attention to little details looking for early signs that someone is getting uncomfortable. So congratulations to all four of yall!!!

I suspect that most of the drama associated with newbies is a result of them jumping too quickly from hot pillow talk to the reality of sex with others (skipping too much of the homework).

Back to the subject of this thread, we see the potential for some really cool excitement in leading a new couple into swinging. And realistically, we also see many hazards scattered along the trail. WHEN we happen to encounter a couple wanting to give it a try (and we feel a good connection with them), we'll surely be taking it slowly and assessing their bumper stickers. Until then, we're enjoying the friends we've found and whose warranty has expired

[JustMrJ]

The advice that has been given about "lots and lots" of talking (communication) is an excellent point.

A lot of couples, even those that have been married for years and years sometimes just don't communicate properly.

As my wife and I are true newbies (not even any meets and greets yet, and I've only been in an MFM years ago) we think this is good advice for BOTH those planning on breaking in the newbies and even more important for the newbies themselves!

Know what you are getting into, understand where others are coming from, LISTEN intelligently and respond with well thought out wisdom.

We are hoping to hook up with a couple from the SLS in our local area. But we have made it clear we would need a more 'vanilla' meeting for the first one, so we could ask questions and discuss things properly.

[tittietwister]

We think it is an HONOR to be picked by a newbie couple, particularly to be their first. Most of us were scared, anxious, afraid, etc. when new. Some were lucky enough to find a sensitive couple that helped introduce them to the lifestyle in a kind and gentle way and perhaps continued to serve as mentors or guides as they gained experience. If a newbie couple entrusts themselves to you that's a great complement.

[sweet_tna]

For us, it's the couple themselves, not their experience level that determines whether we'll play with them.

We "broke in" a newbie couple not long ago, and had a great time with no drama at all. We were honored to be their first experience, and are happy to have them as friends.

=)

[gzone]

I'm new so the response to this topic is interesting.

[twoready4fun]

We got lucky with our first time and got to be broke-in by another newbie couple. It was a little slow to get things going at first. But great once it did.

[hannah_mark]

Our first time was with a young but experience couple and we found they made it a fantastic and relaxing experience.

We like to do the same for newbies and both Rob and I really like newbies. Sometimes they can be a bit tricky to handle but to give them their first swap is great. Oh... and of course to give the female half her first time with a girl is a personal fave of mine lol

[Tia Vampire]

It does not matter one way or another for us. Newbies or not, we are going to have safe fun. We have had some great newbie break-ins and we have had one that he wishes he would have not spoken to the girl at all. We have also been with couple that say they have been swinging for a while, but they do not have any kind of personality, the sex was awful, and they don't have a clue what fun is. So what ever floats your boat, go with it.