Is "LOVER" a no-no word in Swingerland?

[LikeMinds321]

On occasion I've used the word "lover" on the board when describing my playmates.

I like saying that word because it fills a romance novel need I have, a fantasy of being one of those women with many lovers.

It also sounds intense, and I like feeling intense when having sex with people.

But is the word "lover" taboo? Does it make some of you squirm to hear it when refering to someone you swing with?

Tell me what you think. But I warn you, no matter how the votes come in, I'll still use the word "lover" because I like the thought of it. <EG>

LM

[biblonde]

It doesnt bother me any. The only thing I wouldnt like is if someone actually said they were in love with either of us...I dont want a playmate telling me they love me even in the "friend" way. Oh and NEVER ask my hubby to marry you!! yup that has happened in the past..didnt like that one at all!! Playmate has always sounded better to me since that is really what they are. There is no Love there. Maybe a great friendship. To me lover means someone you love but if someone wants to say "lovers" well as long as it is just in casual I dont really care.

[Mike and Jan]

Now doesn't this depend on who's using the word?

After all, in the 'Women's' dictionary love is a noun.

And in the 'men's' dictionary it's a verb.

I'd say it's ok for men to use it, but not women! LOL!

[txduo2000]

Well ... for me ... I don't like the word at all, and I wouldn't use it to describe even my husband. lol It's just so, I don't know .... cliche? movie word? Can't really say why I don't like it, I just don't.

I call them playmates or lifestyle friends or just friends.

[curiousduo30]

Originally Posted by txduo2000

Well ... for me ... I don't like the word at all, and I wouldn't use it to describe even my husband. lol It's just so, I don't know .... cliche? movie word? Can't really say why I don't like it, I just don't.

I call them playmates or lifestyle friends or just friends.

I am with you, txduo2000, never gonna happen. It is a little romancy and makes me feel silly whether I say it or someone else does (no offence LM... Surrender ) More power to you if you can keep a straight face using that particular word.lol But I have been known to blush or burst into ill timed laughter while just using terms of endearment like sugar and darling, so there is no accounting for my taste either.lol

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by curiousduo30

I am with you, txduo2000, never gonna happen. It is a little romancy and makes me feel silly whether I say it or someone else does (no offence LM... Surrender ) More power to you if you can keep a straight face using that particular word.lol But I have been known to blush or burst into ill timed laughter while just using terms of endearment like sugar and darling, so there is no accounting for my taste either.lol

Ladies, you're not offending me one bit.

I should explain.

I don't call my playmates lover to their face. Gawd no! But sometimes I use that word on the board to describe who I play with.

I have quite the fun at home recapping the sex I had with my "lovers." It is a term that gets MrLM and me hot on the homefront. <EG>

LM

[txduo2000]

Oh, it never occurred to me that you used the term to address your playmates directly .... I presumed you meant that you use it as a descriptive term when describing them in some manner, to distinguish him/them from your husband, or to preserve anonymity when telling anecdotes.

I just ... lol ... You know, I can't really even say "make love" with a straight face. It just seems that there are some words that first became universally known through media (radio/television) back when the husbands and wives slept in twin beds and their kids were delivered by storks .... back when censorship was at an all time high and the producers had to get their point across in the cleanest, most non-offending way ... so I guess some terms just seem silly and antique to me. lol

Just today my husband and I were chatting and he said something about the last time we "made love" .... I had to stifle a giggle.

Ok, I am stupid and childish, but I am a child of the 80's ... what can I say?

[curiousduo30]

*Ok, picking myself up off the floor*
You had me a bit stunned with that one LM!!!! Thanks for the laugh and keeping me on my toes. What a way to misunderstand! Still not sure I could use the word lover to describe anyone, but hey, good for you and Mr.LM... :rollseyes boy do I feel silly...(in a good way)...lol

[good times]

I try to take everything in context and would have no problem with a playmate calling me a lover or anything else for that matter as long as it is in the proper context. Now if someone was calling me that in the context that they were actually falling in love with me, I would have a problem with that.

I think that some people take words way to seriously. I had a prospective playmate tell me that she was totally turned if a man called her "baby". The funny thing is, when she told me that it totally turned me off to her. Not that I go around calling my playmates "baby", but it wouldn't be a big stretch to imagine myself saying "Oh baby" or something similar in the height of passion. So the fear that I might blurt out a word she finds offensive has pretty much eliminated her form my list of women I might like to play with.

So, for me anyway, I can't think of any words that are automatically a no-no in my swingerland.

[JustAskJulie]

I don't really like the word in general, whether swinging or not... no particular reason, I just don't see a reason to use it, where another descriptor wouldn't work much better.

I'm like one of the above, I don't even really like the terms "honey" or "dear" and my bf knows he drives me insane when he goes on one of his "sweetie" bents. I swear he can manage to use that one term 60 times in less than a minute. ACK!

[Dolphins524]

I can't answer for Mrs. Dolphins, but I myself would have no problem w/ her using it, as long as she was just using it in general, like you'ld call a friend a buddy, or something like that. The only time I could see it causing a problem is if she got too comfortable using it as a common term, & it slipped out while talking to someone who's unaware of our hobby . Could get embarrassing. As for the 'make love to me' B.S., we don't use that one very often (like, never ). We like the ol' 'f@ck my brains out' . Always seems to work for me, anyway .

[curiousagain]

I wouldn't use that word in any swinging context. I prefer "playmate" or "friend" or something. To me the word lover means an illicit affair or something. I know a fellow introduced me to a woman one time as "my wife's lover" and I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. He said later he didn't mean it the way I took it. But, I guess I am so anti cheating that I can't put a good meaning to it. Maybe I'm just showing my age and using it like I have seen it used in old books, movies, etc. I wouldn't knock anyone for using it, but I wouldn't use it or want it used about me in any other sense.

[SoulmatesNky]

You know... we tend to use the terms with each other when descibing others but not much when talking others.

As a side note: We often use the term lover in describing sexual style. The sexual styles of various extremes from lover to fucker. My wife and I have responded to both sexual styles with equal enthusiasm. I really enjoy the partner who likes it slow and easy, alot of caressing and kissing, but contrary, really enjoy the lady who wants to go all out and try to wake the neighbors!!! Example, we had a couple for a while that the gentleman really liked to 'make love'... he never said that, but that is how his sexual style was and my wife ate it up (and him up too!!!) Not surprisingly, his wife wanted all out fucking!

Soulmates

[djjwp]

I tend to prefer to reserve that word for my wife. I'd have to be in love with someone to call them my lover.

[fun4Ds]

I don't have a problem with being refered to as a lover....


Just dont want to be told I'm a bad lover