Is "LOVER" a no-no word in Swingerland?

[Playful1]

I don't have a problem with the word lover, but, I only use it if I actually love the person....so it doesn't apply to my play mates. I have one person i love, and he is a lover, while other people i have sex with are play mates/partners. I'm doing both but with one there is the added emotional dimension.

I think the term lover suggests a certain emotion and unless that is there, I don't really think it's the appropriate term, but that is just me.

[Lovers4U]

My wife has a lover that has been with her and once in awhile we both spend time with him. As he and I have become more close I have felt my wife does love him and I see no problem with that. He cares for her just as I would when they are together. Love is a word that means many thing to persons. I like it to mean that she cares for him just like she cares for me. She will not leave as we have a different love relation.
What is love? It is kind, it is blind, it overlooks some problems, it is good communication, it is caring for another, it is just being a person who is willing to be involved in another's life in ways similar to a husband or wife, it is just recognizing that involvement with another can lead to love and guidelines must be discussed with all so misunderstanding does not disturb a beautiful relationship. And love can be many other ideas. That's just our take on the love question.

[clem]

Originally Posted by txduo2000

Oh, it never occurred to me that you used the term to address your playmates directly .... I presumed you meant that you use it as a descriptive term when describing them in some manner, to distinguish him/them from your husband, or to preserve anonymity when telling anecdotes.

I just ... lol ... You know, I can't really even say "make love" with a straight face. It just seems that there are some words that first became universally known through media (radio/television) ... so I guess some terms just seem silly and antique to me. lol

Just today my husband and I were chatting and he said something about the last time we "made love" .... I had to stifle a giggle.

I have admitted to my wife and her lover, as well, that I have never "made love" to my wife. I fuck her; I lead her into situations/sometimes deep scenarios where other men fuck her and that turns me on.
Recognizing that she needed some romantic stuff, she put a profile up on Swing Lifestyle (1desperatehousewife) which has generally drawn the same kind of ordinary "Hey Baby" responses from single and married guys. We got lucky with ONE guy. I can't stand to be around them when they're smoochy-smoochy. They've been in bed together once, he's V-Safe so they can orgasm together and they talk/im every day.

[HesterPryne]

I don't like the phrase "friends with benefits" at all. Sounds like a job posting to me, lol. "Special friend(s)" I would rather say in the lifestyle. "Lover" is fine to me if it is a one-on-one relationship....

[ncmd_couple]

Hester,

Welcome to the Swinger's Board!

S

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by good times

I try to take everything in context and would have no problem with a playmate calling me a lover or anything else for that matter as long as it is in the proper context. Now if someone was calling me that in the context that they were actually falling in love with me, I would have a problem with that.

Ditto to Good times! I'm okay with all playful banter as long as it's playful!

[TwoAreLooking]

Originally Posted by Lovers4U

My wife has a lover that has been with her and once in awhile we both spend time with him. As he and I have become more close I have felt my wife does love him and I see no problem with that. He cares for her just as I would when they are together. Love is a word that means many thing to persons. I like it to mean that she cares for him just like she cares for me. She will not leave as we have a different love relation.
What is love? It is kind, it is blind, it overlooks some problems, it is good communication, it is caring for another, it is just being a person who is willing to be involved in another's life in ways similar to a husband or wife, it is just recognizing that involvement with another can lead to love and guidelines must be discussed with all so misunderstanding does not disturb a beautiful relationship. And love can be many other ideas. That's just our take on the love question.

I know I'm late to the party, but I wanted to second this reply. I'm not normally a me-too, but this is apt.

[lovinher]

Originally Posted by good times
I try to take everything in context and would have no problem with a playmate calling me a lover or anything else for that matter as long as it is in the proper context. Now if someone was calling me that in the context that they were actually falling in love with me, I would have a problem with that.

This is where I'm at with it also. I only have one "lover" in my life.

[lustylearning]

"Lover" is a term I reserve for my husband or my "special friend," as someone else previously posted. Everyone else is a "playmate." Even partners I've grown to care about deeply as friends are still "playmates."

[sexycouple1]

I am going to go out with my lover tonight. She is good to me my lover. My lover does things you wouldn't believe! "Excuse me this is my lover, and my other lover. Have you guys met?" NO it just doesn't work ...sorrry. I gotta find a good catch phrase when I go to parties or else....or else what....say something more stupid than lover probably.... I think I'll just say the persons name, what a novel idea...why does sex have to come into play at all anyway?

[Tia Vampire]

We agree with Chris&Amelia 100% on what the word "lover" means to us. We would never use the word "lover" to describe a playmate. We use words like, "playmates", "playfriends", "benny friends", and "your guy friend" or "your lady friend".

[Pioneer Swinger]

I’ve had intercourse with many men, whom I would call “partners”. But, other than Rick (my husband) and Al (the second man to penetrate me, and who introduced me to the many joys of lovemaking), I’ve made love with very few. Angie

[Mrs. Truelove]

I personally would not feel comfortable using the word "lover" with anyone but my husband. I only love my husband. I really like some of our playmates and that is just that.

Mrs. Truelove