Have you ever had a sexual partner that was a better lover than your spouse?

[ACuriousDuo]

We've never swung! We are in the "learn, read, research, and communicate" phase LOL. So, it's hard to say what I'd do in the situation but, I would have to say that I would let her know... but in a way that promotes positive reinforcement to our sex life. One purpose of swinging is to find new ways to please the person you love, right? I would love to hear her tell me, "Do it this way, you know like <name> did it to me!" I aim to please. My wife does too so I'm sure she'd reciprocate. Great question.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by ACuriousDuo

We've never swung! We are in the "learn, read, research, and communicate" phase LOL. So, it's hard to say what I'd do in the situation but, I would have to say that I would let her know... but in a way that promotes positive reinforcement to our sex life. One purpose of swinging is to find new ways to please the person you love, right? I would love to hear her tell me, "Do it this way, you know like <name> did it to me!" I aim to please. My wife does too so I'm sure she'd reciprocate. Great question.

I do not ever let the question of whose sex is above par or below par come into my mind. I tend to say to my wife something like, "I really enjoy <plug name in here>. She's fun." I often say to my wife, "you're the best lover in the world." Would never say it to anyone else.

I always like to welcome new members to The Swingersboard. I'm pleased you found us. Visit the Welcome New Members! (aka Introductions) - The Swingers Board forum and tell us something about yourselves.



~Michael

[dave110256]

I've NEVER had sex with a woman as good as my wife. We both admit that's why we married each other. We've been together for 6 years now and finally have gotten to know each other and get along most of the time.....but the sex is always as good as the first time!

[mwc_mich]

I don;t think I've ever met the perfect lover yet, but I'm still looking. That being said I think everyone brings something unique. I've had some amazing lovers that were better in some aspect that my husband but its helped us both together. I've learned things that work for me and I can tech them to him and he does the same. The variety is part of the fun of the lifestyle and not sharing that is kind of missing the point.

[amid]

After 20 years marriage my wife fits.. like that comfortable leather jacket that's broke in just right. It just feels like it belongs on you. She still makes me cum quicker and easier than anyone so she must be doing something right. Orally her talents are unequaled, she performs deepthroat effortlessly. The only rub, if there is one is that she can't get off from penetration. I've encouraged her to try Kegel's to see if that helps and other things like masturbating to no avail. Physiologically I guess she just can't get the stimulation from penetration. She loves receiving oral to climax, but that's the only way she can cum. Even that though brings on one really strong climax then that's it. Having a partner that can climax from penetration and or multiple times is always a real treat for me. But then so is a big piece of triple chocolate cake.. man it's great when you have it and think about it later but ya wouldn't want to give up a healthy diet to eat Triple Chocolate Cake everyday!

ps I think if she reads this I'll be ok.

[couplers]

Hi, Petra again. It has not happened for me, hubby has been by far the best of those (three men, one woman) I've been with. Strictly from the orgasm standpoint Clair is close, but not quite enough. My bf is really good, and it is exciting, but not in the same league. The third guy, who I don't even like to talk about, was a total dud.

Hubby has told me about other girls that he has been with, both before and after he met me, that have given him really intense sexual experiences. It makes me jealous, but it also turns me on and it makes me a more competitive sex partner for him. I actually like to talk about how good his other experiences were while we're having sex, and for some reason particularly while he licks my clit. If I did have a sex partner that is better than David, I would tell him and I'm certain it would be a welcomed conversation.

[Pensacolapair]

For us, it's an easy 'No..and never will'.

Simply put, those we have sex with in the Lifestyle represent different - as in a change of pace. That's why we swing! Their technique or 'equipment' may be different, or they might toss in something new - but it will always be missing the race-winning element: the intense emotional connection that we have with each other. We can have fantastic, mind-blowing, near-nirvana-like sex with someone else and afterwards eclipse it with each other.

I know, I know..I'm just a S.N.A.G, but it's worked for us 'lo these many years.

M

[LagniappeDC]

I'm not sure that I've ever given this question much thought, because it's the complete package of life experiences - the ups AND downs - that make us such great lovers for each other. There is an emotional side that just can't be duplicated with folks you meet in the lifestyle, even those you've bonded with over time.

[xxxboxy]

My wife is the best sexual partner I've ever had. It's a total package kind of thing. I've had partners that were better at a technical aspect, such as deepthroating, but none that are better overall. I'm sure that there's an emotional/commitment component to this in addition to the technical ability part.

[strathmore]

Originally Posted by xxxboxy

My wife is the best sexual partner I've ever had. It's a total package kind of thing. I've had partners that were better at a technical aspect, such as deepthroating, but none that are better overall. I'm sure that there's an emotional/commitment component to this in addition to the technical ability part.

DITTO. Some better at specific bits... BUT wife best overall package... and knows where all the buttons are.

[Pleasure King]

Originally Posted by Pensacolapair

For us, it's an easy 'No..and never will'.

Simply put, those we have sex with in the Lifestyle represent different - as in a change of pace. That's why we swing! Their technique or 'equipment' may be different, or they might toss in something new - but it will always be missing the race-winning element: the intense emotional connection that we have with each other. We can have fantastic, mind-blowing, near-nirvana-like sex with someone else and afterwards eclipse it with each other.

I know, I know..I'm just a S.N.A.G, but it's worked for us 'lo these many years.

M

I love that explanation. Makes perfect sense to me.

[StevieBlueEyes]

Originally Posted by xxxboxy

My wife is the best sexual partner I've ever had. It's a total package kind of thing. I've had partners that were better at a technical aspect, such as deepthroating, but none that are better overall. I'm sure that there's an emotional/commitment component to this in addition to the technical ability part.

+1

It's not even close. She and I are magic together.

[Coupleerotic22]

Originally Posted by txesqcpl

If you had something done to you sexually by the other wife or husband of a couple, do you tell you SO that they did something sooo good that it was the best ever not even with you SO. If you do tell your SO, how do you bring it up or tell your SO?? I am interested in hearing from both sides on this issue.

Thanks everyone!

Better lover or better sexual experience? Two different things in my mind. I only have one lover and no one is better than her. Lover, in my mind, includes heart, mind and soul as well as the body. Being a lover is her domain alone.

Sexual experiences? Yes, we have both had someone that did something better than we had done for each other. Usually it is something specific, like a technique or position.

Yes, we do talk about it. The first time she said something, I think it just sort of came out because of enthusiasm, she had been a bit apprehensive of how I would react. She was surprised I was not upset, but curious as to what/how he did it.

The first time it happened for me I said something and she was a bit hurt, and she was surprised by that, as was I. But now it is not an issue. We both understand there will be times that someone is exceptional at something. We just treat it as a learning experience.

It is not a big deal really, we change over time. Something I might have tried 10 years ago, that she did not enjoy then, she really likes now. We continue to evolve and our likes and dislikes change as we grow.

I think it has been a great learning experience as we explore new things and both improve at giving the other pleasure. I would estimate that about 80% of the time that our previous "best sexual experience" has been improved on, it was by each other, not someone else. So while this weekend someone may rock our world better than previously done, we both expect that it won't be that way for long. That has been one of the best unforeseen benefits of swinging, we continually raise the bar sexually for each other.

[M1F2KTJ]

I have had indescribable sex with someone who wasn't my wife. In front of her. I don't think she noticed. I think she was having a special experience of her own. I would never tell my wife about it out of respect for her and our marriage.

[Cajun2Step]

Originally Posted by CXXC

I certainly hope that it happens for both of us! After all, how do we learn to better ourselves if the bar never moves?

Its not about being better than anyone. Its all aobut pleasing each other to the fullest!!! That is our goal!

Really liked this post which explains our philosophy. We have both had sex partners that were extremely good at play.

Recently on a picnic table LadyC2S had an awesome 5 orgasm session of sex. Not better sexual partner but awesome sex. A couple of years ago in Yuma C2S had the best BJ ever experienced. Neither of these sessions made us less that the best LOVER either of us has every had the pleasure of experiencing.

But as CXXC stated, "how do we learn to better ourselves if the bar never moves?"