Have you ever had a sexual partner that was a better lover than your spouse?

[HotMoCpl]

First let me say, that we are examining the lifestyle for the reasons of pure D sexual enjoyment. If it was the BEST that ever happened to me or her, we're darned sure going to let each other know. After all, that's why we want to go there. It also has to do with open, honest communication.

[meandher2go]

DEFINETELY tell her but the timing and way you do it is gonna be important. Id wanna know if HER had an experience that was mind blowing so i could do my best to get it to happen again with me.

but be carefull how ya tell it.

[WesternSwing]

Hell, I've been sexually active so long that it could have been better sometime and I just don't remember it. One thing experience has taught me is that an orgasm is an orgasm, it is the overall experience that makes it stand out. Some things are just really erotic and therefore it makes things seem like they are better, when in fact the same thing in a different situation wouldn't be all that.

That said, I would tell my SO that this person did something I really liked and here is what it is. Telling them that they did something better than you will just hurt their feelings, and why would you want to do that? I would hope she would tell me too. You're not born knowing all the ways to get someone off and I'll use all my tricks and all those I can borrow.

Mr. WS

[Carol_Danny]

Originally Posted by txesqcpl

If you had something done to you sexually by the other wife or husband of a couple, do you tell you SO that they did something sooo good that it was the best ever not even with you SO. If you do tell your SO, how do you bring it up or tell your SO?? I am interested in hearing from both sides on this issue.

We always tell each other what new things we may have experienced. I would never say it was better than anything done by my wife, mainly because that would be impossible. While it may have been amazing, it still would be better with my partner.

-- Danny

[Sexyasian]

Have you ever found a partner that was a better lover than your spouse from a tecnical and experience stand point?

Did that make you prefer him or her over your spouse or does the love your share with your spouse make the love making "better"?

Now for the question that requires real honesty.
Even considering how the love for ones spouse factors into the enjoyment of sex, have your ever prefered another partner over your spouse?

[Amanda69]

The answer would be NO to all of the above. When with a partner you tend to adjust to each other's needs and abilities. You are able to learn what works best for each other.

With someone new you might find some new little thing you hadn't tried before but for the most part by this age we have seen and done all the techniques to be had.

Did that make you prefer him or her over your spouse or does the love your share with your spouse make the love making "better"?

Making love is always the better option to simple hot sex...it adds an extra dimension that just cannot be duplicated with someone you don't really care about.

[oncewere]

My first wife and I discussed this at great length some years ago. We both concluded that in the heat of the moment we prefered whomever we were with but after the hormones are spent, we've recovered from our orgasms, and we are enjoying the post coital closeness with our new partner, we would recognize that our married sex was far more satisfying in the long run. Barb observed that escargot, thai food, or hot Mexican food are great, we love them but a steady diet of them wouldn't be comfortable. If any of our partners did something especially exciting we would learn from it and share it. At the end of the night we would be together, sharing what was most important to us.

[NakedInSeattle]

Yes, I have to admit I've been with ladies where the sex was better than with Mrs Naked. The positions, the action, etc. She admits that she's had guys that were bigger and better than me also. BUT!!! The bottom line is that we have so much more than sex going for us that it will never cause a problem. Just the opposite! We have great sex telling each other what the guy/gal did that was so good.

You will always find someone sexier, prettier, maybe even better but there is only one mate. This is why you need a good relationship before you start this playing (I call it playing, not swinging). That's my $0.02.

[MoonLightKiss]

Originally Posted by Sexyasian

Have you ever found a partner that was a better lover than your spouse from a tecnical and experience stand point?

From a technical standpoint, if I compare my first time with my husband, to the first times with other people I have been with, then in complete honesty, I would say that there have been a couple who have been more experienced in bed than my husband. Just as I am sure he probably has been with a couple of women more experienced than I. But there is something to be said for being with someone long enough that they know all your buttons, quirks, desires, needs, and general turn ons. I really don't think anyone can measure up to my husband, because no one else is going to love me like he does. And that does have to be factored in even when trying to only use technical and experience as factors.

Originally Posted by Sexyasian

Did that make you prefer him or her over your spouse or does the love your share with your spouse make the love making "better"?

Love always makes it better.

Originally Posted by Sexyasian

Now for the question that requires real honesty.
Even considering how the love for ones spouse factors into the enjoyment of sex, have your ever prefered another partner over your spouse?

No, no, and no.

[NVFun]

Naked In Seattle and MoonlightKiss are right!

There is SO much more to our relationship as friends/lovers/mates, than there can ever be with anyone else. The extracurricular sex is just a fun hobby that we share with other fun and sexy people. It could NEVER replace our love and our love-making.

[Sexyasian]

Good replies! You all make good sense.

I really appreciate the NakedinSeattle couple coming out and saying what they did. If your marriage was not rock solid, as it obvoiusly is, what you admitted to would hurt some feelings.

[JM153]

Another way to look at it is that each person in unique and the couple is unique. Ms JM and I are different and unique persons and when you combine us you get a unique couple that can not be duplicated. This is true of everyone, so whether you like something that a person does or not does not change what makes our coupleness unique. As someone said there are always going to pretier, mor hansome, bigger, smaller, people, but there will never be a couple the same as we are.
JM

[Sexyasian]

Originally Posted by JM153

Another way to look at it is that each person in unique and the couple is unique. Ms JM and I are different and unique persons and when you combine us you get a unique couple that can not be duplicated. This is true of everyone, so whether you like something that a person does or not does not change what makes our coupleness unique. As someone said there are always going to pretier, mor hansome, bigger, smaller, people, but there will never be a couple the same as we are.
JM

I agree and thanks!

[Additude]

Originally Posted by Sexyasian

Have you ever found a partner that was a better lover than your spouse from a tecnical and experience stand point?

Yes I have. Inside and outside of swinging.

Did that make you prefer him or her over your spouse or does the love your share with your spouse make the love making "better"?

A few of the couples I prefered her at the moment and wanted to meet with her/them again. However it was more like wanting to go out with my wife for "dinner and a movie", as something my wife and I were going to do together. So even though I was excited to have sex with the other woman, I was equally content to go home with my wife.
Then there were couples where I felt my wife was better.

Now for the question that requires real honesty.
Even considering how the love for ones spouse factors into the enjoyment of sex, have your ever prefered another partner over your spouse?

I would say that I haven't, but the rationale of it is that I have never had a "Relationship" in the sence of life, family, marriage, etc. with one of our swing friends. So for me to say "I prefered" would mean only at the sexual level and not at the "Relationship" level. I seriously doubt I would ever escallate the "sexual encounter" as I can maintain the seperation and reason the difference between wife/marriage and sex with friends. I am not interested in leaving my wife simply for better sex with another woman.

[Sexyasian]

Just bumping this one up for more input.