Would you Attend a church for swingers

[bbarnsworth]

First, echo what Spoomonkey said above. I too am sorry for the situation you are in, regardless of swinging.

Originally Posted by Chitowndk4u

Yep. All of it.

I try to explain why I feel it isn't as literal as it is purported to be, but she is super religious and thinks the one time we did swap partners is a sin and that's why she isn't willing to do it again.

Maybe I am being harsh. I do know that she is ashamed of our experience because of her religious brain-washing.

Taking the old testament literally is essentially impossible. See this. It's intended as humor, but it's also based on a literal interpretation of the old testament. Does she cut the hair at the sides of her head (Lev 19:27) Has she ever had sex on her period (Lev. 20:18)? And on and on and on.

It sounds to me like she is suffering inside. Not from religious programming per se...but guilt. Unreconciled, unabashed guilt.

[Chitowndk4u]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

It is tough to overcome a lifetime of indoctrination and moral conditioning. People can be so locked into their faith because of the fear that is ingrained into it.

There are christian swingers and I admire them for being able to apply the bible without having it ruin their lives. But I also understand people that are really sold out on their beliefs. I feel sorry for them if it repressive, but having once been a pastor, I "get it."

But I also feel your frustration. Religion - like sex - is really tough to handle if you and your spouse aren't on the same page. In this case, you have different views on both. Here's hoping you agree on politics!

I'm sorry that is an issue at your home. That is tough.

Spoomonkey

We do agree on politics.

I don't think that we are too far off from what the both of us believes. I know she liked the experiences we've had. I think that she's afraid that she liked it too much and she believes she isn't supposed to.

I have dropped all conversations on swinging, but she knows that I do want to talk about it. It's just out of respect for her that I don't bring it up. I don't want to run the risk of swinging interfering with our relationship.

To avoid the tension, I just leave it alone.

[Chitowndk4u]

Originally Posted by bbarnsworth

First, echo what Spoomonkey said above. I too am sorry for the situation you are in, regardless of swinging.



Taking the old testament literally is essentially impossible. See this. It's intended as humor, but it's also based on a literal interpretation of the old testament. Does she cut the hair at the sides of her head (Lev 19:27) Has she ever had sex on her period (Lev. 20:18)? And on and on and on.

It sounds to me like she is suffering inside. Not from religious programming per se...but guilt. Unreconciled, unabashed guilt.

Hit the nail right on the head!

I try to explain that there is nothing to feel guilty about, but she doesn't understand how I can be so cool with everything, even her doing a 3some without me on a cruise last summer.

My mindset is that you live your life and you make choices be they good or bad. Either way you learn from them. You learn things about yourself and who your are as a person.

I did get upset about the 3some, but not because she did it (that part I was happy about), but for the fact that she told me that we wouldn't do that again and then two weeks later she had one without me.

That part made me feel betrayed and vulnerable because I wasn't there to protect her if something went wrong.

But I'm glad that she had the experience. We all need to have some fun like that.

I think she would be surprised at some of the occupations of the members here and other swingers in general.

[Alura]

Originally Posted by Lee_0040

If you could find a church and its pastor that is supportive of swinging (must like the gay community and their churches) in your area, would to attend.

Well, I might be more likely to go there than anywhere else, but "anywhere else" is so unlikely that I voted "No."

Mr. Alura