View Poll Results: Do you prefer "one night stands"

Voters
913. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes

    259 28.37%
  • No

    327 35.82%
  • Doesn't matter

    327 35.82%
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  1. #61
    insert witty banter here
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    We answered "no" to the question, but so far, have behaved as most might perceive as being "one night stands." Except for one couple we saw twice, we've not played a second time with those we've met. Clearly, those play sessions didn't make us feel good, for whatever reason (the dreaded DRAMA or other non-compatible things).

    We are still on our quest of a play couple or possible play circle of trusted folks. Cultivating playmates is a lot of work and time consuming ... and the thrill of the chase is fun, but we'd rather settle on down for a spell ...

  2. #62
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    One off meetings is all we are interested in.

    I don't understand this business of wanting to care about people and get entrenched in their lives just because you want recreational sex with them.

    Sure if you enjoyed the sex and wanted another go, fair play. But I really don't get a lot of the posters who are against the one -off meetings on emotional grounds, unless you are poly. Afterall, it's just sex!

    Frankly, I would be turned off by a couple or single wanting to be part of my life. That's what my friends and family are for. To us swinging is about pleasure not emotional attachement.

  3. #63
    Oh...Why not?... DBL D's Avatar
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    I don't know about getting involved in someones life but why exactly do you feel you can't be friends with someone you play with without feeling like it has become some kind of poly relationship?

    Glad there's enough room in this swinging thing to allow everyone to be happy but that strikes me as you wanting to fuck and go which seems kind of demeaning and like you are using someone. I guess that's what you want and that's fine, but it wouldn't sit well with us.

    Male D
    "Just nod if you can hear me..."

    David Gilmour

  4. #64
    Swingers Board Addict jimnjan's Avatar
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    Quote Originally Posted by DBL D
    Glad there's enough room in this swinging thing to allow everyone to be happy but that strikes me as you wanting to fuck and go which seems kind of demeaning and like you are using someone. I guess that's what you want and that's fine, but it wouldn't sit well with us.

    Male D
    Couldn't agree more! Not that we look for life long ... stand by the beside while I die friends ... but for us it has to be a bit more then a lustful craving. Besides, what a rush when when you have that "vanilla/fudge" party and everone gets along without expectations.

    Besides, the better you know someone, the more intense the experience is and the more comfortable you are letting that person know exactly what it is you enjoy.

    Jim
    Jan

  5. #65
    Here to Stay kywife4two's Avatar
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    They may be great for the thrill, but not so great for safety.

  6. #66
    ~This space for rent~ LFM2's Avatar
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    I can turn two ways on this thread. I haven't read the whole thing, but I didn't vote either. I suppose that someday there might be a couple out there that will turn our crank enough that we'd love to spend vanilla time with them, but for right now, we just haven't met that couple.

    This isn't to say that we didn't like the couples we've played with and I wouldn't mind playing with any of them again, but I don't want to feel I have to invite them over for a BBQ. I consider them all friends, but not close enough to invite away for a weekend. Well, I take that back. There is one couple that I'd invite away for a weekend.
    Dave & Holly

  7. #67
    Here to Stay FloridaFlirt's Avatar
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    Just as I wouldn't invite every vanilla friend of mine away for the weekend, I wouldn't do that with my swinger friends either. It all depends on chemistry. There may be some couples that are fun to play with, but I wouldnt want to spend more than just a few hours at a time with them outside of playing.

    There are other couples we have met that we enjoy doing vanilla things with, like theatre, concerts, dinner out, etc.

    To me swinging friendships are like any other friendships, except for the 'common bond'....

  8. #68
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    a qusting can a man be to big for my wife

  9. #69
    Here to Stay yourbitterpill's Avatar
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    We've become more interested in becoming friends with benefits since we began swinging. Sure, one night stands can be fun and fulfilling but in the long-term it just wasn't satisfying. As has been said before here, they may be fun (but like any other type of one-night stand outside the lifestyle), it does drastically increase the risks. There are a lot of good honest people in the lifestyle but, just like the larger world, there are also a LOT of cheaters, creeps, and fakes. We want to get to know people - what they like, who they are, and what they don't like - and we hope that will lead to better (and freakier) sex.

  10. #70
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    We don't mind the one night stands with single guys, actually prefer it that way. But we want to be friends with the couples we meet. Luckily, it has worked out relatively will so far :-)

  11. #71
    Swingers Board Addict twobears's Avatar
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    Talking Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    we are not looking really for friendship but that is not really the proper word, we like making friends and do in the lifestyle,but really one night stand is what we want.

  12. #72
    Swingers Board Addict TheSwingerSet's Avatar
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    We voted doesn't matter, and to us it really doesn't. If you want to drop trou and get your freak on 10 minutes after we meet and we think your sexy, we are there.

    But (I always love the but) Some of the best sex we have ever had in the lifestyle has been with our "friends" those that we can call up and say hey lets go have dinner and maybe go to the club after. They would be the same ones we invite with their kids to our lake place for the weekend for family time. The reason for the great sex is we do know what buttons to push to get them to explode and they know ours, in no way is this poly because we don't "Love" them in that way, we care for them in the same way we care for our vanilla friends.

    Here is an example of why friends can be better.
    We met a very nice couple at on our web site they were new to swinging and we generaly shy away from new people (we figure that we will let someone else deal with any drama). We talked to them on the net, and the phone and they really wanted to meet us in person before they came to an event. When we did meet there was no imeadite spark, however they did come to their first event a few weeks later and had a blast, they continued to talk to us online and at the parties for months. These are people that we got to know well over time, and that made us see that they were truly sexy underneath!
    We did hook up with them and it was awesome to say the least, the energy that they put out during play is something to behold. We are still friends and we do vanilla stuff with them all the time.

    I don't see why anyone would want to just limit themselves to one nighters or friends with bennies. Why not have the best of both and not put limits on your play time.

    K
    Happy swinging!!
    Kent & Leah
    All pleasure no pressure!!

  13. #73
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    As a swinging couple we have a great deal of experience, most have been wonderful, only a couple have been mediocre and luckily only 2 have been awful. We have become very close friends with three couples, a few single guys and a few single gals. I cherish those sexual friendships, but to be honest the great part of swinging is the next morning theyre gone. Whether you move on to the next and invite them back depends on a lot of factors. There's nothing wrong with one night stands in our opinion.

  14. #74
    Swingers Board Addict ohash01's Avatar
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    I'm not into looking for one night stands. I feel nervous about the amount of risk that's involved in it. How do you know they're trust-worthy and won't blab all over town? How do you know they're safe, smart, and clean? I'm not knocking people who ARE into one-night stands...it's just not for me. It makes me nervous just thinking about it.

    Now...do we have to be bestest buddies? No. But I'd like to know a little about you, what you enjoy doing, and what "kind" of person you are.

  15. #75
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    Default Re: THE "LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHT STAND" SWINGERS

    Quote Originally Posted by CLITFRIEND
    You know folks--some people just put the most interesting TMI's on their profiles. I just read one from a single male from another site who put right into his profile "I am looking for couples and females who really don't mind the few and far in betweens one night stands, since I dont have enough time to commit to any serious relationship!" His words. Not mine. I do have to admit, I have to admire his somewhat honesty.

    But it made me think of something--there are probably plenty of people--ok--may at leaset some people--well maybe a few---all right, all right already!!! Maybe just the slim one or two person actually looking for the one night stand. Now here is my question though---How successful do you suppose these individuals are--andwould this be something that u would be involved with?

    And along with this question--maybe this could be a twist--if u attend a swingers party and end up playing with people right at that party--and that was it---would you consider that to be a one night stand you just experience, and in a strange sense--maybe even sought??????

    thanks for bringing this up.....this helps a lot

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