Do you Play Alone

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Now to Mrs Spoomonkey - Didn't I read somewhere about Mr Spoo looking forward to getting his FMF (which fell through )

Oh - it didn't fall through

It was an absolute blast!

But - reciprocation was something that really worried us. We were both nervous going into it - me going to a late work shift, her playing host at our house. And afterwards, it did lead to a lot of discussion regarding feelings, etc.

I don't think we really thought of it as "playing solo", - but I guess this did put us in a "sorta" category. I think we'd entertain the idea again, but certainly not something we'd be interested in regularly - and splitting up and going our seperate ways, just isn't something that we would want to do. It is a completely different dynamic - and puts a totally new spin on the lifestyle. I can see where it would be thrilling for some - and why it is a no-no for others.

I will admit to having mixed emotions when Mrs Spoomonkey gave them their "payback". But, I think with the right couple, and with the right relationship, we'd definitely be willing to set up that scenario again.

Spoomonkey

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Oh - it didn't fall through

It was an absolute blast! . . .

Good to hear your plans came to fruition!

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I will admit to having mixed emotions when Mrs Spoomonkey gave them their "payback". But, I think with the right couple, and with the right relationship, we'd definitely be willing to set up that scenario again.

Spoomonkey

I'm sure when the day comes to play solo that our emotions will be tested. With the couple we now play with, playing solo is a possibility. I see it as a rare and special thing when four people can feel comfy with that arrangement.

LM

[stoutgatte]

Interesting... Almost 55% of us play solo in their own way. And even more if you would add the sorta's like the Spoomonkeys (a real oversight on my part, damn). Always interesting how many definitions there are for the same thing around here...

As for LM, fly over here so we can have a 1-on-1 PS. I only do mud/jello wrestling, I have a strong dislike for the taste of blood...

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

stoutgatte - "scared" ME? No way, nothing scares me...put up your fists buster.

Originally Posted by stoutgatte

...As for LM, fly over here so we can have a 1-on-1 PS. I only do mud/jello wrestling, I have a strong dislike for the taste of blood...

I always loved a good nose bleed after a fight, tilt my head back and it ran right down my throat. But alas, those childhood days are gone.

I don't do mud/jello wrestling. But the next time you're in Iowa we can sit down at the Old Country Buffet a share a really good bowl of cherry jello...with whipped cream. facelick

LM

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I don't do mud/jello wrestling.

Hmmmmm I've often thought I'd like to try jello or pudding wrestling, I've seen it on TV and being in a bikini and wrestling around with another woman or man ... I know the guys love it! Might be willing to give it a go it stoutgatte is

Mrs Spoomonkey

[stoutgatte]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I always loved a good nose bleed after a fight, tilt my head back and it ran right down my throat. But alas, those childhood days are gone.

Why am I suddenly feelin a little scared of visiting LikeMindsVille... Surrender Whipped cream sounds good though, but then again... Whipped

Originally Posted by Mrs Spoomonkey

Hmmmmm I've often thought I'd like to try jello or pudding wrestling, I've seen it on TV and being in a bikini and wrestling around with another woman or man ... I know the guys love it! Might be willing to give it a go it stoutgatte is

Always game, getting the mudpit ready over here, and I see the boys are putting up a stand too... Mind if I ask admission fees?

[Chemistry_0518]

We have played separately, but those times are more the exception than the rule. And when it happened there were specifics discussed beforehand. Will it happen again? We are both sure that it will because we have some extremely close friends and when we are separated for an extended period, we feel comfortable with meeting these special (true) friends.

[Joe_Ang]

You know we were initially of the mindset 'No, never' but then by chance we played in a separate room with a comfortable couple. We discovered we were ok with this and the one-on-one time was enjoyable, even though we prefer to watch each others enjoyment. But talking about it afterwards filled in those details, and stirred more fun. So a few months later, Angie had the oppurtunity to play with some new friends who I had met the male half and really felt comfortable with. I was at work and she had gone to their house for a visit. She did not participate much thinking about pre-existing rules and how I might feel about anything, and the details she gave me and her caution on my part reall expanded my views. Not to mention I was turned on by the prospect. I encouraged her to wake them up and take it to a new level, but she didn't until I had the chance to meet with the wife, and then she took advantage of my permission. And I am so glad she did, because I got to experience some alone time with this wonderful new person, and even had the pleasure of Ang joining us later.

Since then we have had the oppurtunity at an on-premise club to separate sometimes and we have found it enjoyable. We get the most out of shared experiences, but sometimes a little variety spices things up.

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by stoutgatte

Always game, getting the mudpit ready over here, and I see the boys are putting up a stand too... Mind if I ask admission fees?

Don't mind at all, the more the merrier . . . as long as you'll split the admission fees with me

Mrs Spoomonkey

[jsnps]

We sometime play together but we have pretty strict rules about doing so:

1) We must meet/get to know the other person(s) so they know that hubby and I are both ok with it and we both have a chance to veto a potential play partner. These are people we have built a rapport with - NEVER anyone we just pick up at a bar or see once and take home...
2) We only play with others who are single or truly doing so w/their S.O.'s consent - no cheating.
3) We do not spend the night with others - we come home to our spouse
4) Always safe sex - no exceptions
5) Only those who we are really close with come to our home - and
that activity happens only in certain parts of the house (i.e. not our bed)
6) Everything must be discussed before it happens, unless it is
someone that he/I have been involved with for a long time. (i.e. they are play partners and we habitually go out with him/her/them and it is understood something sexual may/may not happen - based on history, naturally everyone is ok with that).
7) We share every aspect of the experience with our spouse when we
return home - we have no secrets.
8) Everything else is a case by case basis - to be discussed
beforehand.
* We even have a very simple, yet well defined phone/text message
system in place so that we can make sure not to come home and
interrupt a potential coupling (should one partner decide to
entertain someone in our home).

This does not happen with any regularity or frequency. In fact, we've set a limit of not more than two times a month so that there is no chance of taking away anything from our relationship. We have these rules to keep anyone from getting hurt and really everything is a case by case basis. As others have said, it is current play partners or close friends that we consider this with, not just anyone off the street.

I'm actually kind of surprised by the number of people who play solo. I figured more people would be opposed to it...

[dutch51]

It's interesting to read how everyone defines "playing solo." For us, we can say we don't meet other couples without both of us together. We are in this as a couples activity, so going alone does not give us what we are looking for. Plus, we are simply not comfortable with the idea. We have discussed so much of this for ages, and have a definite set of boundaries and preferences in place, but it is still not something that we are willing to do at this point. For us, the feeling of knowing what's going on and being involved is half the fun.

Now, if you want to talk about same room/ separate room... We prefer same room and that is what we tell new couples when we meet. Mostly for the reasons stated above. However, under the right circumstances separate rooms with the right couple is something that may happen.

It's funny, when we started out my initial idea was separate rooms at first because I wasn't sure if I could watch hubby with someone else and still be able to enjoy my experience. That was my gut reaction, but when we talked about it I realized we'd both feel better being close to each other. So after we met our first couple we realized we definitely wanted same room only, never separate rooms. Now we do not seek separate room play, there are certain situations where it can be preferred.

Well, if nothing else, we've learned never to say never to certain situations. What you can't imagine wanting today is something that may pique your interest tomorrow....

[Alura]

In our twenty-four years of dabbling in swinging, we've tried some things we liked and tried some things we didn't like.

One we didn't like: Mrs. Alura met an attractive man. We decided it would be okay for her to have sex with him. She did. She told me all about it later but her account of the details, shall we say, were less than glowing. I was not threatened but was not turned-on either. We decided this was an experience we didn't care to repeat.

One we liked: We decided we'd both like to have sex with our high-school sweethearts (during our reunions) because we didn't do it then. We planned "the seductions" together, which was a lot of fun. I was successful and spent an afternoon in a hotel room with my HSSH. It was fun but not necessary to do again. She couldn't hold a candle to Mrs. Alura in bed.

Mrs. Alura couldn't seem to get the idea across to her HSSH and has not yet been successful. Another reunion is coming up next year, though...

Mrs. Alura has my permission to have sex with Johnny Mathis, should the opportunity arise, and I have her permission to bed Brigitte Bardot. We don't think we have much to fear in these cases.

By far, our best and most fun experiences have been with couples. We'll likely keep it that way, unless we change our minds. For that reason, our vote was "with special rules."

Mr. Alura

[JustAskJulie]

For some this is one of those touchy topics that can cause some sparks. To some it's not playing if you aren't doing it together, to others - to each their own.


So do you and/or your partner play alone without the other present? How do you handle these situations? Do you both have to agree on the playmate? Does the playing partner fill the other in on the details once the deed is done?

How do you feel about playing with others who play seperately? Do you talk to their partner to confirm that they have the ok to do so? or do you just assume they do?

[findtime]

Same room only for us.

The thrill, we find, is in watching each other give and receive pleasure.
Sex is sex with anyone else. Not really exciting beyond the mechanics of it but, watching hubby give another woman an awesome orgasm......
Yummy!!!!

[Vespertine]

I had one experience where I played alone.

We were having a MFM threesome that wasn't exactly working out. My husband wasn't able to keep himself excited enough to continue, and decided to opt out of play. He encouraged us to continue alone, without him.

At first, I was hesitant, and tried to put an end to playtime. He insisted we have fun, and said he'd be in another part of the house. He left the room and shut the door behind him(*1). So, we played alone. I had fun, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't the same without my husband there. I have fun playing with him. That's the turn on for me. Without him there, it deducted something from the experience.

When we were home later that evening, he wanted a blow-by-blow account of everything that happened, and wondered out loud what we could have been doing for almost two hours (*2). I could only say, "Oh you know, the usual". It felt odd to give him details, I felt like I had done something wrong.

We won't play alone, it didn't work well for us. We did learn two good lessons though.

*1. Don't ever suggest something in the heat of the moment that the two of you haven't clearly discussed beforehand, he basically made a choice for both of us and put me on the spot.

*2. When exploring something new for the first time, don't go overboard and take two hours. Make sure everyone's comfortable with the change. :rollseyes