Married Males - What's your Status?

[JustAskJulie]

I am just curious to know how many married males we have around these parts who aren't actively swinging yet but hoping to use what they learn here as a springboard to either figure out how to bring it up to their partner, or have brought it up and are still trying to figure out how to get their wives to go for the idea.

[CB_n_Red]

A year and more ago we would have needed a different choice:

"Married male - still discussing the idea of swinging with my wife."

I didn't try to persuade to go for it. Instead we just discussed the possibilities, the pros and cons, and eventually decided to give it a try. It was my initial idea but there was no coersion, no pressure. We joined the Board to read about the lifestyle and learn more. That was the best move we made and was probably crucial in making sure we avoided most newbie mistakes. Still wish I could persuade Red to use the computer and post here for herself more often, though I think that will have to remain one of my fantasies

CB

[Botcpl]

We're talking and going about trying to meet people now and then. I think it is a matter of meeting the right people. When everything finally clicks, I sure it will be a blast.

P

[northindycpl]

It seems like there are a lot of married males and females here that are looking for information and ideas on how to bring it up to their spouses.

The other 70% are cheating, but I doubt they answer the poll honestly, and I would expect nothing less.

In all seriousness, Mr. Indy and I were never in the position to bring it up and hope the other would agree. We both just always thought it was hot and went for it. I think it would be a huge challenge for a man to have this interest and have to bring it up to his wife!

[NekkidHedonists]

Originally Posted by northindycpl

In all seriousness, Mr. Indy and I were never in the position to bring it up and hope the other would agree. We both just always thought it was hot and went for it.

Same with us. If anything, I was more into the idea than my hubby... but we had both had the fantasy and were hoping to one day make it a reality. And what a GREAT reality it is!!!

[Buck]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

or have brought it up and are still trying to figure out how to get their wives to go for the idea.

Count me in this category. I have discussed the issue with my wife and she and I have read this board together occasionally. She definately knows I am interested in swinging, especially MFM threesomes, but she has not committed to the reality of trying it yet. I have followed the advice of so many persons on this board to not push her into it. Since she knows I'm interested, and we even playfully joke about it, I know the seed is planted and figure if the situation ever arises where she might want to actually pursue it, she will tell me.

[NWohionewbiecpl]

Originally Posted by northindycpl

In all seriousness, Mr. Indy and I were never in the position to bring it up and hope the other would agree. We both just always thought it was hot and went for it.

We was much like Northindycpl never had to bring it up and hope the other would agree.We was watching a adult movie one night that had a swinging situation in it and we both thought that seemed like fun and well here we are

[ohcpl43952]

We've been at it from the beginning of us pretty much. It hasn't been real smooooooth for the entire 6 or so years, but it's definitely a part of "US". We wouldn't have it any other way.

[Cafe10s]

I was one of those males until recently. She always went along with me to the swing clubs but for the longest time she was hesitant to cross the line. I picked up a lot of good advice from here and now we are on the other side. It pays to be patient. And it pays more when you are honest because now we are closer than ever and are having the best sex of our lives.

[easygoin]

let see im one of those that did the FFM and FFFM but never actually with a couple..or swapped...but im here to learn more and give what advice i can...dont know that we will become involved again but the company and friends you can make is awesome

[montresor]

Never been married and swinging at the same time; currently single with a regular female partner and a bi/lesbian F playmate, but married males have been welcome with us from the start as long as they have wife's permission to swing separately. Guess that's not exactly on point, is it!

[Iplay]

I have to tell you My wife came up with the idea. With out me saying a word.

[Nomi Hodai]

I’ve seen my wife make out with a friend's girlfriend in public, but she was pretty drunk. And I think she has a secret past, which perhaps didn’t go so well. She's not a normally jealous person, but something sometime screwed with her ability to trust. When we have talked about swinging she doesn’t say 'NO', but says she's sure she'd be jealous. So...a little lopsided if it only means bringing guys in. (Interesting a few times, but then what)

Also, I've always had a belief about jealousy. People are jealous because they know what they would be thinking in the other persons shoes, and don’t care what you are really thinking. Put simply, if she thinks my mind would be racing with thoughts of leaving her while with another, perhaps that’s what she thinks would be in her mind while with another guy. And Im not cool with that. So until its clear she would not be jeoloous of me, its a no go. Anyone on 'confidence building' measures?

All in all, I think this relationship is not ready and may never be.

[tribbles]

Hi all! I discovered today the guy we were to meet with on Saturday is married and she doesn't know of his playing. I'm not going into the whole 'cheating' is wrong thing here. Here is my problem with it:

I can say I'm std free to the best of my knowledge but I've been playing and do not have physical tests to be sure between partners.There is a small but real risk of any number of std's that could be carried without symptoms. He could get something from me and take it home. It is not ok for him to risk her health.

My hubby and I both know what we are risking. We choose to take those risks. Those who aren't able to agree to those risks should not be exposed to them without their knowledge.

[highlander]

Tribbles, I can understand your feelings here. However
1) I wouldn't assume he's necessarily still having sex with his wife-there are a lot of sexless marriages out there

2) Consider what _you_ do. Personally, I don't think it is excessive to request test results from all your partners--even if you use condoms. Folks can lie in all kinds of ways.

I have never personally cheated BTW.

I tend to think that current laws/customs create a lot of hypocrisy though.