Married Males - What's your Status?

[Arty]

I have been talking about trying to meet people now and then. I think it is a matter of meeting the right people. "Where ever they may be?" When everything finally clicks, I sure it will be the best ever.

[MrLikeMinds]

My wife and I swing together

MrLikeMinds

[Chitowndk4u]

Well, we have done it (full swap) once, and a FMF 3some together and she did a FMF 3some on her own.

I would like to do more in the lifestyle but she doesn't want to.

I know that I can handle it and she can too, but I think she is fearful that it will wreck our relationship which has been strained until recently. Things have been great between us and we talk about about mostly everything. I say mostly because the subject of swinging just cannot be discussed.

She has become very judgmental and standoffish when it comes up. I want to talk to her about her fears and concerns and where her mind is and ease her mind a bit. I think that she thinks that I will want it all the time and not want her anymore, and that couldn't be further from the truth.

When I saw her with the other husband, it made me so horny for her. Her pussy was so wet and I just loved. I was right up under them (they were doggy) and I took a pic of them together while his wife watched.It was great. I still get hard thinking about it.

The thing I want to do is at least be able to discuss it. Her tone has a finality to it that just makes me feel like she is totally closed to the idea, even though everything we have done together, she has set up.

I'm frustrated because I feel we haven't had a real adult discussion and every attempt to has been met with hostility. I feel I can't talk to her and this is becoming a problem for me, not because I just want to be in the lifestyle and fuck a bunch of women. It's because we have never talked about that night and how much fun we had (other non-sexual activities included - no drugs or anything).

So that's where I am.

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by Chitowndk4u

I'm frustrated because I feel we haven't had a real adult discussion and every attempt to has been met with hostility. I feel I can't talk to her and this is becoming a problem for me, not because I just want to be in the lifestyle and fuck a bunch of women. It's because we have never talked about that night and how much fun we had (other non-sexual activities included - no drugs or anything).

So that's where I am.

Chitown, sorry you are where you are. I know for my wife and I that even if we hit a rough patch in discussion we work through it. Sometimes it doesn't happen right at that moment, but it does happen.

I know patience isn't what you want to be told. But, your wife is obviously conflicted on the subject. It can take time for some people to work through their emotions and thoughts on a subject.

[Chitowndk4u]

Originally Posted by bbarnsworth

Chitown, sorry you are where you are. I know for my wife and I that even if we hit a rough patch in discussion we work through it. Sometimes it doesn't happen right at that moment, but it does happen.

I know patience isn't what you want to be told. But, your wife is obviously conflicted on the subject. It can take time for some people to work through their emotions and thoughts on a subject.

Yeah, I'm giving her time.

I just feel that since this event has happened, the least we can do is talk about it.

All she says is "Why?, We're not going to do it, so why talk about it?"

That in itself is frustrating because it's like she isn't interested in my point of view or even trying to understand me and what I have read, researched and learned. I have no selfish motives. I just know we both enjoy sex and have enjoyed sex with others together and are still as much in love with each other as we have always been.

I feel like I'm being robbed of the memory of it because I feel it's kind of selfish to relive it in my mind and not share it with her. I want to share the memory with her. Not every time we have sex, but every once in a while.

Just so we can remember the wild thing that we did.

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by Chitowndk4u

I feel like I'm being robbed of the memory of it because I feel it's kind of selfish to relive it in my mind and not share it with her. I want to share the memory with her. Not every time we have sex, but every once in a while.

Just so we can remember the wild thing that we did.

In the grand scheme of things, it is not that big of a deal. It may take some time for the immediacy of the memory to fade, but it will as do all things. In the meantime, your wife can work things out in her mind. It might not work out the way you'd like, but she obviously does not want to talk about it.

My wife and I sometimes discuss "what if" type of scenarios, or situations that are quite different from what we might consider doing. On a number of occasions, I've told her "I'm not in any way suggesting we even consider doing this...just thinking out loud here". It helps us when we talk of things like that, at least for swinging purposes, because it can help clarify how we might feel about something we would do.

Your wife just isn't ready for that...and that's ok! It doesn't mean your relationship is dysfunctional or anything negative at all.

[Chitowndk4u]

Oh, our relationship is fine.

I didn't mean to insinuate that it wasn't.

[doubledupbuxom]

still trying

[HappyCpl]

Mrs. H and I ONLY swing together. Our rules are simple and direct, first and foremost is " Not without me, not without my permission.."

[Chitowndk4u]

My wife says that we need more friends that are couples, but we don't meet them wherte we live because none of our couple friends have schedules that match ours or they just have totally different lives that we just aren't a part of.

I mentioned to her that the one thing we did do in the subject we can't speak about was meet couples and could've struck up a good friendship with them.

She didn't see what I was saying, of course.

[DiscreetRayJay]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I am just curious to know how many married males we have around these parts who aren't actively swinging yet but hoping to use what they learn here as a springboard to either figure out how to bring it up to their partner, or have brought it up and are still trying to figure out how to get their wives to go for the idea.

Julie, you hit the nail right on the head with me. I'm not married, but she and I will be someday. It's complicated right now... I digress.

We've agreed to go to our local on-premise club (tomorrow night in fact), but how far we're willing to go will be entirely up to her. If she's not into it, I'm not going to pressure her, but I would like tomorrow's trip to open the doors to conversation in any event. Before I met my girl I had a profile on Swing Lifestyle and played just once or twice. Once I met her, I cancelled my membership and will only go back to that site if she and I do it together. I'm here tonight because

a. I'm super excited about our first vist
b. I'm constantly browsing the site looking for advice.

Hopefully I can add

c. Meet locals to have fun with

in the future!