Are You honest at The Doctor's Office?

[Vjklander]

Our doc is fully aware of our kinky activities. I think it is important for the doc to know that information and he always asks if he should include an STD workup when he orders other lab work. We generally alternate and skip STD checks if we haven't engaged in any risky behavior since the previous checks. But the first question should have just stopped after lifestyle. Whether or not he supports it is quite irrelevant. We share pleasures and indulge in fairly moderate BDSM. The staff knows too, we frequently get side questions about different sexual practices. They also always save some Viagra swag for us. But even given all that, the pet name they have for us is 'the lovebirds'. Since we are going on 31 years, I think we must be doing something right.

[imsherona2]

I believe we are in the majority here that is: Dr. is unaware of my lifestyle & it stays that way! IF we thought we had been exposed to an STD or otherwise we would certainly share that with our Dr., but I haven't and won't just walk in there and say "hey doc, BTW, we are swingers...just thought you'd want to know!!

[des1re06]

My GYN is a lady, and knows that I am bi-sexual and have multiple partners. Why else would I ask for quarterly STD exams?

Mrs. D

[larry818]

I'm kind of lucky, we met a swinging doctor early on and go to him for anything we might think would be swinging related. Our regular HMO doc knows nothing (in every sense).

[hmr]

Our doc knows, but it is not in our records for a very good reason. Mom works at the office.

[cubnamy1995]

Our regular doc does not know because we know him socially outside the office in a very vanilla sense. We do get tested regularly, but we each go to different docs for that. We go outside our local community to have that done, just to keep things discrete. If we were ever in a situation that it became necessary for him to know, we'd tell him, but until that happens, it keeps our lives less complicated this way.

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by hmr

Our doc knows, but it is not in our records for a very good reason. Mom works at the office.

Oooookay, this would probably be a very good reason not to tell.

Otherwise, the whole idea of what boils down to latent blackmail just pisses me right off!

Am I hearing this right? That I need to potentially jeopardize my health (by not disclosing pertinent information to my doctor) to avoid the risk of my insurance company not paying out for life insurance if, God forbid, anything should happen to either of us? Is that correct? Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture or am I just crazy?? The idea that our insurance company would try to stiff us by using the excuse, "Well, they were swingers! Of course they were high risk*. They died in a car accident? Likely because the driver was getting a blowjob from his buddy's wife! So it's swinger-related. They likely were rife with STDs anyway so good riddance." Man, that blows! *Stats show that swingers are NOT at a significantly higher risk for STDs than some other groups. If I didn't have anyone else but me to worry about, I'd be inclined to say TAKE me to court! And we'll just see what the facts support. But in reality (where we're all supposed to be living), that doesn't fucking work either.

[rachan]

My doctor knows that we're into this but he isn't judgemental. He always tells us about the risks but we know that. The other members of our little group are checked out too. I enjoy having unprotected intercourse.

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by intuition897

Am I hearing this right? That I need to potentially jeopardize my health (by not disclosing pertinent information to my doctor) to avoid the risk of my insurance company not paying out for life insurance if, God forbid, anything should happen to either of us? Is that correct?

When I talked life & health insurance in my post specifically, I am talking about it from an underwriting point of view - the decision whether or not to insure someone in the first place.

If you had life insurance and died in a car accident, the policy would pay in most instances - your swinging, if discovered AFTER a car accident, most likely would not be a factor as to the claim settlement, unless there was a question on the life insurance application regarding sex practices that was not answered honestly that may void the policy for material misrepresentation.

Now, if I've applied for health and/or life insurance, and my medical records are obtained, it is within the realm of possibility there may be an issue underwriting either policy, or it may impact their rates. If a life or health insurer can provide actuarial justification that any practice a person may have makes that person a risk not in the insurer's favor, you can bet it's in their underwriting rules and in their rates. Do I know this for sure? No - I don't have my life or health insurer's underwriting rules. But it's feasible enough that I just separate the sexual health testing from my regular MD visits by using the city clinic.

Doesn't make it right, though. One should feel comfortable disclosing to their health care provider. I don't - not because of a lack of trust in my MD, but because I don't want any reason to be declined or charged higher rates for health or life insurance and I like my privacy.

[couplewanting50]

Originally Posted by intuition897

Oooookay, this would probably be a very good reason not to tell.

Otherwise, the whole idea of what boils down to latent blackmail just pisses me right off!

Am I hearing this right? That I need to potentially jeopardize my health (by not disclosing pertinent information to my doctor) to avoid the risk of my insurance company not paying out for life insurance if, God forbid, anything should happen to either of us? Is that correct? Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture or am I just crazy?? The idea that our insurance company would try to stiff us by using the excuse, "Well, they were swingers! Of course they were high risk*. They died in a car accident? Likely because the driver was getting a blowjob from his buddy's wife! So it's swinger-related. They likely were rife with STDs anyway so good riddance." Man, that blows! *Stats show that swingers are NOT at a significantly higher risk for STDs than some other groups. If I didn't have anyone else but me to worry about, I'd be inclined to say TAKE me to court! And we'll just see what the facts support. But in reality (where we're all supposed to be living), that doesn't fucking work either.

No, you don't need to jeopardize your health.... at all. You can still get tested as often as you like, for whatever you like. You just don't have to put a statement about your swinging on a banner behind an airplane and tow it around the city.

Chicup has written a number of times regarding the varied risks that you expose yourself to if you tell your doctor and it ends up in your records. Once it is in there, it won't come out. It is hard to guess how that might one day be used, or leaked, and what effect may occur.

You can still have your tests and lose nothing. In your case, however, it is a bit late. The doctor knows now. You seem more outraged by the violation of ideals that you hold, than a practical analysis of realistic circumstances.

Ideally, we should be able to tell our doctor anything. In reality, there are considerable risks, many of which we not be able to predict at this time. Meaning, maybe we can't.