Are the people from the Swingers Board the "norm" in swinging or the exception?

[jcbicouple]

I'm talking about this board and the members here. When you realize that we all seem to run into "problem" people it makes you wonder......Are we really the minorities in the swinging world? I like to think we aren't, but sometime I wonder. Is this where all the good swingers end up? After we've been through the web boards, forums, ads and found nowhere else we were comfortable? Think about it: Everyone here is open minded, and even though we aren't always in agreement we have enough intelligence to discuss issues, and agree to disagree. The majority are kind and understanding to newcomers and people with issues (including singles). We seem to all connect in some way, and get along even though there's a very wide array of sexual preferences: Open marraiges, same room swap, straight couples, bi couples, male half bi couples, female half bi couples, and just as wide of a variety on the expectations and comfort levels in the bedroom. Yet, We all talk to these Couples and singles that are rude and can't back down even after we tell them No or we aren't interested. Pushy people that follow you around. Needy people that want the emotional support of our spouses. Couples that don't like each other. People that try to push people beyond their comfort level. I can go on but you know what I mean! Are we really the majority or minority in the swinging world?

Edited to add: We love this board! Where else can you go and discuss anything that's on your mind? From sex to party snacks!

Since most of the swingers we "Know" are on this board I would say we are not the minority.

I think MOST people who are HONEST about themselves & their swinging find this site to be the best place on the web to discuss anything & everything.

We also LOVE this place!!

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by jcbicouple

Is this where all the good swingers end up?

If not, it must be darn close to it.

I have thought a lot about this very topic over the past few months. Like the Naughtys, the board is my closest contact with swingers.

Through the swinger ad sites we are on you get only a glimpse of people. And thankfully, our experience on the sites has been positive. I was frightened once by a contact; he sent a very evil photo of himself attached to a strange email. Our profile states we aren't seeking single men--evil or otherwise .

Only one other time did we have an unusual experience. We upset someone when we tried to give a little helpful advice. He replied with a nasty email. That is a story I'll have to share in another thread sometime.

I would like to think we boardies are the majority in the swinging world.

Time and experience may tell a different story.

LM

[good times]

While I feel that the majority of people on this board are great, we know a lot of swingers that aren't here and they are a pretty good batch of people too compared to the rest of society, in my opinion. So I would have to say we pretty much represent a typical cross section of the swinging community overall.

[Spoomonkey]

I voted that we are the minority...

But - I am not so sure that it is because we somehow end up here as much as it is that we actually end up developing a bit of philosophy about what we do, why we do it and how we go about it all.

I am not so sure that seperate from a community like this that we, personally, would be so comfortable with the lifestyle. If the only chance we had to actually talk about it was those occassional long conversations with couples at the club - I think we'd simply go about things like a bull in a china shop...

This type of community makes swingers sharper, smarter, deeper thinkers with a better overall view of the people that are out there - what they think about - how they feel - etc. It makes us, for lack of a better word, more compassionate and empathetic to the people we meet. And it forces us to sit back and realize that some very intelligent people do things that we would never consider - or would consider "wrong" - and we have to ask ourselves, what can we learn from them?

I guess the swinger's board, in particular, tends to be a place where we all can "meditate" on the lifestyle. It makes us "experts" quickly and helps us avoid a lot of the pitfalls that we have watched a lot of couples stumble through...

Does any of that make sense?

Spoomonkey

[Miss_Piggy]

So this leads to another question. Is it that thoughtful swingers find this board? or does the board make more thoughtful swingers? or is a combination of both?

[EvilMJ]

You read my mind!! (most people would think that is a bad thing). I often wonder about this as where I live there isn't excatly a 'swinger' culture that I am aware of. I don't have any contact with any other swingers and I have yet to convince hubby dear to use the internet to find people. So other than this board I feel pretty Isolated.

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by jcbicouple

I'm talking about this board and the members here. When you realize that we all seem to run into "problem" people it makes you wonder......Are we really the minorities in the swinging world? I like to think we aren't, but sometime I wonder. Is this where all the good swingers end up?

Originally Posted by Miss_Piggy

Is it that thoughtful swingers find this board? or does the board make more thoughtful swingers?

Our theory is that these "problem" people discover our beloved Swingers Board just as much as any other site, but because of the unique design of the board and the vigilance of its moderators, the most thoughtful swingers among us end up being the most active participants while the troublemakers are weeded out very quickly.

[fun_pairTX]

We agree with Greg and Sheryl. While a true demographic crosses the threshold here, those that are more introspective tend to remain while the rest file out when they discover that this is not really a place to "hook up". We are all very lucky to have the structure and moderators that we have to keep it that way.

[wrnakedru]

Don't you feel at times that we have developed our own little village in the midst of a mad, mad world? I have thought at times "Wouldn't it be great if we all DID live in one place?"

Not that I think we'd be partying our butts off with one another ... (although that's a thought ...) After all, there's a wide variety of methods, styles and tastes amongst us. But there is an acceptance of those differences with an emphasis on those things which we hold in common without allowing the differences to become divisive.

Perhaps what many have said is the case is what rings most true - that those who stay here are more instrospective and examining of how they live their lives. Certainly a viewing of the world in general would bear it out. There are those who are where they are and live their lives as they do simply because the tides have carried them there. And then there are those who have taken the time and effort to put at least one oar in the water and do some steering , recognizing the choices are ours to make.

So I guess my vote is (sadly) we are the minority - we are in the group who live "examined" lives. Not sad to BE in that grouping, just sad that not more realize the choices are theirs.

[JustAskJulie]

I think we actually see a pretty good cross-section of swingers here. We do get our share of those who probably fit into the "problem" category, but they don't stick around for obvious reasons. And there are plenty more just lurking that fit in who knows where. So while those who are most active do fit the description you gave, I think we have just as many "around" here who don't really fit it - we just don't hear from them as often. SO I don't really think it's a minority or a majority that you see on this board.

MHO

[omneesx]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

So while those who are most active do fit the description you gave, I think we have just as many "around" here who don't really fit it - we just don't hear from them as often.
MHO

We lurkers agree.

[misterbates]

I think most people in the lifestyle encounter the same problems..after all swinging in general can stir up alot of trouble in a relationship..i mean think about it...l you are dealing with ego's,emotions,jealousy,and a whole range of things that can go wrong...what sets this board & the people on it apart is the ability and willingness to communicate and talk through the problems instead of just bottling it up or running away from it (thats also why we can get along to a certain degree even though there are many many different types of people here)

[JustAskJulie]

This thread made me smile and it brought to mind how often I've thought (and now my Pet agrees) - why is that all the really great swingers we've met live too damn far away! And yes they are all people we've met through here. Whenever I leave a meetup I'm sad that all those great folks don't live closer.

[cocpl2007]

Ditto Julie