Bi-women who don't go down

[Ellyanne77]

I (the wife) have always been bi in my opinion (had my first experience with a woman in my teens and loved it). I have been with both Bi and Bi Curious in this LS and I have to say Bi is so much better for me. Before getting into the LS I didn't understand bi curious at all!!
An example:
We played with one couple where during one of the times we were together and I was giving it seemed more like a show for the guys than anything...when I was through...we the females were through...no giving on her end. Fine with me I moved on to the sex. I can understand a woman who isn't fully bi and appreciate it as her choice. I most likely will not do it again though b/c its just like sex I want something out of it too.

Another situation with a fully bi woman: We get into the room and before she even speaks to my hubby she pulls out her nexus dildo and goes to town...1/2 an hour or more later we had fully satisfied each other and made sure our spouses were happy and then picked back up with each other again. I have to say it was the best bi experience of my life...and I look forward to more just like it!

Basically I know I'm bi and if you don't thats fine I'll help you put on a show or I'll see what you like but most likely I'm going to chose the fully bi woman over the bi curious any day of the week b/c then I know we both are having a good time!!

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I don't have a problem playing with a woman who doesn't return the favor. I prefer to give rather than receive typically anyway (with both guys and girls), so it doesn't really bother me much if the girl doesn't return the favor.

What she said!

[des1re06]

I too am more of a giver, and don't mind. I'm learning to be a receiver though. I've recently learned why I'm more of a giver, and am enjoying learning what my body likes in receiving.

[two4youinswva]

So, we would have to change our original vote done 3 years ago. At the time, we were fairly new, and Mrs two4you was only a receiver at that point.

She's been as much of a giver as a receiver now. Probably more so.

[sexcupid]

I think I'm listed as straight on our profile, partly because I don't want to feel like I'm a false advertisement.

In reality, I'm open to play with women I feel comfortable with. I have no problems kissing, groping, sucking nipples, etc. I have been down on 1 female, and it was ok...I was a little uncertain of how I was doing...but she seemed to enjoy it.

So, I really consider myself 'socially bi' or 'bi-friendly'...in that if another woman touches me, or wants to dance, etc....I'm not going to run screaming from the room or anything, we'll just see where it goes. I don't want to feel obligated to do something by saying I'm bi or bi-curious. It's on a case by case basis...just like actually playing with a male is.

While I don't mind putting on a show for the guys...honestly, if I wanted what I would consider a serious playtime with another female...it would have to be one on one. No other distractions, no audience, etc.

[Tia Vampire]

IMO you are not bi if you do not like to go down on the other woman. Again IMO, that is the only thing that can make you bi besides being attracted to women sexually. My gay friends tell me that if the guy is just the giver, he is not gay. It's the reciever that is gay. I always thought that if you were attracted to a guy in any kind of way, you are gay. I don't know if this works the same for the women since they don't have anything to stick each other with but a tongue. Yes there are dildos and stap ons, but they are not true body parts. You are not sharing and feeling in the satisfaction you are giving to your partner. That's how I feel about it anyway. No pun intended.

So my point is, do these girls who don't go down feel less bi because of they're way of going about it?

[Tia Vampire]

I'm pretty much like sexcupid. I don't mind kissing, flirting, using a stap-on or dildos, rubbing on a woman, and sucking her breast, but that is as far as i'll go with a woman. I will not go down on a woman or touch genital to genital and because of this, I do not feel that i'm bi. This is only when i'm at a swing party. Other than that, I have no sexual interest in a woman.

[SnowwwWhite]

Everyone has the right to be who they are and desire what they want without being judged or made to feel uncomfortable because of their sexual identity.

Yes, rejecting a couple because the female isn't full-on bisexual is certainly fair. No harm no foul as long as the rejecting couple doesn't act passively-aggressive or intentionally try to make the other couple feel foolish or awkward for simply being who they are.

As for me, I'm what you'd probably call "bi-permissive." I enjoy seeing and touching a woman and might even kiss if things got hot. But the sexual turn-on stops at oral sex or masturbating her. I'm not wired that way so it's a turn-off. Why should I be judged for that? It's my sexual identity and I'm not going to change it just to humor someone or because of the fear of being rejected by more experienced couples. Same way that I won't expect my SO to humor me with a bi experience. Yes, it turns me on to think about two men together, but I'd never get angry or "reject" him because I'm letting him watch me touch a woman but he won't touch a man.

We all just need to remember to respect each other..... this is a perfect example of "no means no" and not getting upset because someone just isn't into something you wish they would be.

[Edison Carter]

Susan here--There is a term for this 'soft' bisexual/lesbian, it is 'Lipstick Lesbian' where they will only kiss with another woman.

[ktimephoenix]

Originally Posted by graygo98

Interesting thread, and something that my wife and I have talked about. I think a lot of the confusion comes from the fact that some people think "bi" is some sort of yes/no thing. That you are, and are totally into it, or you are not and you are just sort of a poser. I think that there are way more possiblities than just yes/no. Kinsey described a 0 to 6 scale of sexuality.

Rating Description
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual

A lot of women that say they are "bi curious" aren't really curious at all. They know that they have a mild attraction to other women, but its not a big thing with them. They might fall into 1 or 2. Other women in the lifestyle who say they are bi seem to really be focussed only on sex with other women. I guess they might be a 4 or 5.

I think that you just have to either talk to the other person(s) about mutual expectations and ask questions or just go with the flow and try not to be judgemental if the other person isn't on the exact same page as you are.

I have used a similar rating system myself since i started seriously thinking about my sexuality. although my system was 0-10. good to see i was onto something.

i always maintain that 0 on my scale (exclusively hetereosexual, never once entertained the thought of a homosexual attraction) or 10 (same as above, just reverse hetero with homo), don't actually exist. every straight person who has been honest with me has admitted to at least one "confused" moment growing up, be it a crush on a teacher, a thrill from the touch of a guy, or even just a "i wonder what it'd feel like". every homosexual person who has opened up to me (significantly fewer i'll admit) has told me that they have at least once wondered about a hetero encounter.

i guess my point, and graygo's point is that human sexuallity is fluid. it's not clear cut "straight/bi/gay".

[ktimephoenix]

Originally Posted by fun_pairTX

As I was once told; "Play to a 2 handicap and they don't call you a golfer". "Throw a 300 game and they don't call you a bowler." "Suck one dick in the locker room and you are gay FOREVER".

Isn't that the truth...

sort of related, at a party in my early University years, a few of the frat boy types were trying to pressure a couple of the girls at a (vanilla) party to make out for their entertainment. a friend and i saw that clearly they were extremely uncomfortable with the idea, and wanted the guys to stop pressuring them.

so He and I, (both straight mind you), waltz into the circle that'd been forming and gave our own 'same sex' makeout. that kinda destroyed the mood for the guys and they left the girls alone. Sure him and I got a bit of a reputation from it, but funnily enough, the only people who had issue with what we did were the people we didn't want to talk to anyway.

After that day, i've never felt so comfortable with my sexuality... i know i'm straight, but i don't "fear" male contact.

[BiloxiCouple]

The thread title gave me a good laugh this morning.

[SexyNSingle]

Originally Posted by cpl4playmass

G puts "socially bi" because she has no desire to have a relationship with a woman. She does it all, and loves it all. so socially bi for us means she is bi during playtime and not in a full time scenario.

At the moment this describes me and if that should change, I feel that when the time is right, I will know .

[JustMrJ]

My wife is very very very slightly bi-curious. It's going to take a lady she's really attracted to and 'clicks' with to get her to try it all out.

She's all about the cock!

[Playful1]

I am truly bi, and have actually had a friend call me 3/4 lesbian, so i love giving and receiving.

If i'm with a couple, and i know the woman won't return the favor though (shes just not that bi), I do admit to being a little more hesitant in giving oral. This is only if she is established, so to speak, in where her bisexuality is and is one of those who is ok with kissing and fondling and receiving oral, but not giving it. If she is still figuring it out, and is still in the exploratory stage, I'm happy to go down and let her decide what she is comfy with.