Are voyeurs and exhibitionists swingers?

[good times]

OK, I replied to another thread where the poster said they were into voyeurism and exhibitionism and said that he thought that made them soft swingers. My definition of swinging is that in order to swing you must have sexual interaction with others outside of your primary relationship, and soft swinging would be sexual interaction up to but not including penetration. So I wouldn't consider people who were into voyeurism and exhibitionism exclusively to actually be swingers.

My question is are voyeurs and exhibitionists swingers?

Since none of us "own" the word or definition of "swingers" its one of those things that are open for interpetation.

I ,however, agree with you. There has to be some touching to be considered swingers.

Having sex in front of others or watching others may be fun but if there is no contact except between the couples themselves then they fall into one of those big words you have in your thread title.
But if they want to consider themselves swingers to, then so be it.

[Spoomonkey]

GT

I would say that swinging would encompass voyuerism to the extent that it is mutual play. If two couples wish to stay with their spouses/partners, but would like to be in an open sexual environment and watch, they would be "soft swingers" in my opinion.

If - however - they decided that they didn't want to have sex - just wanted to stand against the wall and watch, I would think that they are not swingers... In the same way - people looking at monkeys in the zoo can't really call themselves monkeys - people who just watch can't call themselves swingers... Does that make sense?

Our first interest in swinging was "soft" in which we would watch others while they watched us. That didn't last too terribly long, but long enough for us to consider that a real "avenue" so to speak.

Spoomonkey

[good times]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

If - however - they decided that they didn't want to have sex - just wanted to stand against the wall and watch, I would think that they are not swingers... In the same way - people looking at monkeys in the zoo can't really call themselves monkeys - people who just watch can't call themselves swingers... Does that make sense?

Makes perfect sense to me, this is actually what I am most used to seeing at the clubs when I refer to Voyeurs. It seems like some nights their are a bunch of what we refer to as gawkers who just sit in the corner and watch. More often than not if you aproach them and try to make conversation they beat a hasty retreat (leave).

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by good times

...they beat a hasty retreat (leave).

Thanks for subtitling your foreign tongue...



Yeah - these are just curious folks. There is not harm in them being there, but they are one of the reasons why we tend to do our playing in the rooms with doors closed. One night, Mrs Spoomonkey decided to go down on me on one of the couches. When she started, there was another couple across from us - and two more couples chatting some distance away... When my vision cleared back up, there were about two dozen people crowded around us like we had been in a bike accident...

I felt like saying, "okay - now you two do it" to some random couple...

We just had to shrug it off and go play upstairs...

And damn if a few people didn't actually try to follow...

Now I know why my club serves popcorn

Spoomonkey

[good times]

I know what you mean Spoo, we were in the play room one night just getting into it when I opened my eyes long enough to notice that several other couples had followed us in. I still didn't pay much attention figuring they would get with it in due time. But then two of the women started giggling, and of course I thought they found something humorous about Mrs. GT's technique and imediately went from flag pole to wet noodle (lost my woody) in record time. Mrs. GT got a little pissed, especially when one of the women asked us to "please stay, we will watch quieter". As it turns out one of the couples has continued to come to the club regularly and actually asked me to do a whipped cream nipple shot on her a couple of weeks ago, which is the first time anyone other than her partner has touched her that I know of. She later told us that they were currently negotiating going further and would let us know. So you never know, everyone has to start somewhere, I guess.

[lauriern]

I guess you could argue that soft swingers are either voyeurs or exhibitionists since part of their fun is watching and being watched.

[fun_pairTX]

We went to a Texas Rangers game the other night and it sure didn't make us professional baseball players, nor were we offered their salary. If you are a spectator, then you are just that, a spectator.

[biblonde]

My definition of swinging is that in order to swing you must have sexual interaction with others outside of your primary relationship, and soft swinging would be sexual interaction up to but not including penetration.

that would be my definition! If you are being voyeuers or exhibitionists then that is what you are, not swingers! swinging to us is playing with someone other than your SO wether it be just kissing and oral to full intercouse. without it you are a spectator!

my 2 cents for the day

[xxoticangel]

My $0.02...In order to "swing" there has to be some sexual activity with someone other than your SO. How much activity determines where you fall in the spectrum of "soft-hard" (using the bar graph theory again). If your only goal is to watch your are a voyeur. If you only want to be watched you are an exhibitionist. Nothing wrong with that. We enjoy watching and being watched too.

[WesternSwing]

We know couples that are definite swingers, but the men in the relationships are also definite voyeurs and the women definite exhibitionists as well. The women show-off all they can in the appropriate situations and love to have people watch them have sex. And the men can be very content just watching their wife getting it on with other people without being physically involved. As one put it to my wife "just hand me the popcorn and don't worry about me!"

I think swinging is what you make of it, and there are as many ways to swing as there are swingers. In fact I had one gal tell me that even though she had shared boyfriends (both hers and other women's) in FMF encounters, what she was doing wasn't "swinging"... I think it is. I guess it's just which definition is most comfortable to you.

Mr. WS

[VCee3]

I thought I'd dig this up after a search because it's something we've been thinking about.

Mrs. V gets extremely turned on by the thought of watching other people having sex (not porn, physically in attendance) and has also mentioned that she wants to be watched having sex by other couples (Note couples, not singles looking for a cheap thrill.. well, maybe, I'd have to double check that with her )

Clearly we don't class ourselves as swingers because in the great marathon of this lifestyle, we're still deciding what training shoes to buy, however if we went to a club we'd like to think we could watch and be watched without freaking anyone else out. I can imagine if we pissed someone off by just watching it would make us feel that it was clique-y because thats how we would want to 'start out'.

As pointed out by good times and Spoomonkey, we'd probably be one of the couples watching and, hopefully if the mood took us when asked 'Now you do it', we'd be happy to return the favour!! facelick ...but would hope that if we didn't and were just watching to get us into the scene, we wouldn't be offending anyone. I guess it's tricky because the concept of voyeur/exhib. is so broad and probably tainted by the trenchcoat brigade.

[LindayRoy]

We are also voyers, till this day the extent of our experience is we have been in the same room with other people having sex while the other couple was having sex, we watched each other mansturbated watching them and they mansturbated watching us.

We also got in the hot tub and there was some touching involved.

We are both in the medical field so we have a fobia to STDs because all the things we see on a daily basis.

Furthermore we just dont feel comfortable with the idea of having sex with other people, but we have absolutely no problem doing almost anything on a club with most clothes on.
I get a kick watching her being fundled and felt in almost anyway by other guys and she likes to see me have fun with other girls.

Bottom line, we consider ourselves soft and we do consider ourselves swingers but we just dont know If we will ever have full intercourse or even oral sex with others.

Mainly is because of STD fear.

Maybe someday we will find that magical couple where we both will feel so hot about and so comfortable about that we will go all the way...but we are very happy as we are right now.

Another problem.... we are trying to get pregnant so we are not using any birth control. Condoms are by no means birth control so no way Jose.

I know many full swap swingers get frustrated when after playing with us they cant go all the way but we dont lie, we tell everything upfront and of course they make a move hopping for more, that is why many full swaps dont like to consider us as swingers...not even soft.

Our rule is a very simple one "No exange of any body fluids" and yes, that also means kissing.
The friends we have met that are happy with that go home very satisfied and those who expected more.... well they go unhappy.

[sunrise_sunset]

seems as though the voyeurs and exhibitionists outnumber real swingers at some events we have been to lately.

[des1re06]

Since this older post was resurrected, I feel the desire to comment too.

We are exhibitionists and full swap swingers. We enjoy watching too.

If couples or singles quietly watch or are doing their own thing (oral or full sex) in the same area where we are, it's not a problem.

I hate people having a loud conversation or laughing in the room. This has turned us off from doing anything at Menages upstairs recently. The past few times we've been up there, it's been like college frat night, with a bunch of younger people laughing and talking very loud. They don't seem to understand what the rooms are for or respect what's happening.

When we first went to Trapeze in Atlanta, there were a bunch of guys (like 20) standing around a bed jerking off while this couple were having sex. Now that bothers me. We found out later that it was "single male" night.

No touching! If you are a voyeur watching what we're doing, that doesn't give you the right to touch. I had an issue with this in a voyeur room once. A guy was touching me, and I had to stop my partner mid-stroke to get rid of him.

Off soap box now.

Mrs. D