Playmates and Breast Cancer

[Elusive BiFem]

Wolfmaiden posted an interesting thing about HPV and breast cancer. It got me to thinking...we all talk about how personality is so much more important than looks, etc. So I'm wondering, would you play with a woman that had undergone mastectomy with resultant scarring? If you were diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have a mastectomy, would you continue swinging?

It really is something to think about considering the statistics. From the National Cancer Institute: The number of new cases of breast cancer in women was estimated to be about 212,600 in 2003.

- EBF

[Vespertine]

I think I'd be uncomfortable playing if I had a mastectomy. I don't think I'd feel sexy.

If I was diagnosed with breast CA, sex would probably be the last thing on my mind anyway. I'd be more focused on maintaining my health and probably would stop any risky behaviors I participate in to keep my immune system up.

If we met another couple and the woman had a mastectomy I would have no problem with it. I can't say the same thing for Mr. V though- I think he might be a little intimidated by the scaring (The scars can look mighty vicious). Not that he is a superficial man that can't get past physical imperfections- its just that the scars would kind of knock the fantasy rush he gets from swinging down to actual reality. He is a very sensitive man and wouldn't be able to just have "fun sex". He'd be overly concerned about her well-being and his "nurture" instinct would kick in. I don't think he could view a woman like that in "sport sex" type of way.

[biblonde]

I would say YES and YES. We arent huge breast fans (although we like them) not the most important thing. As for the scars it leaves I think almost all of us have scars of some sort somewhere. My hubby always said boobs ( or lack there of) dont make the woman.

Does give ya something to think about though.
just my 2 cents for the day!

[good times]

Originally Posted by Elusive BiFem

So I'm wondering, would you play with a woman that had undergone mastectomy with resultant scarring?

I don't know, I would like to think it wouldn't make any difference to me. But the female breast is definitely one of the features of the female anatomy that parcipitates my arousal, so I won't really know for sure until faced with the situation. I think a lot of it would have to do with the womans attitude about it. If she was self confident and didn't let it bother her, I doubt if it would be a problem for me.

Originally Posted by Elusive BiFem

If you were diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have a mastectomy, would you continue swinging?

Doesn't really apply to me, but I know that when my wife was diagnosed with an ailment with serious life changing implications, it changed her whole outlook, she went from someone who was afraid to try new things to a person that sees life as short so lets do it while we can.

[BradAndJanet]

Sure I would! I'm not one to get too hung up on physical attraction. For instance, I think my co-workers would be shocked by which women we work with I find sexy. It's not the 'model material' blonde everyone else talks about, it's that slightly overweight older woman with the knowing eyes that sets me off. She's got the mischievous smile and the playful attitude that tells me she'd be a lot of fun in the sack.

Scars don't matter to me; it's what's between the ears that does.

-B

[Elusive BiFem]

Would Janet want to play if she had undergone surgery? - EBF

[BradAndJanet]

She says, "probably not", because of body image issues. In fact, she said she might even have difficulty with me at first. Of course, she's always been one to be very shy about her body anyway...

-B

[WesternSwing]

My ex-wife's best friend had a mastectomy, and although we weren't swingers I did see her topless on an occasion or two, and the one breast she had was still amazing! The other side looked different, but once I got over the initial shock of the missing breast and scar it wasn't no big thang. The whole package was great, and if I was swinging with her that is what would matter.

Mr. WS

[mrs good times]

If I had a mastectomy I don't think I could continue swinging unless I had reconstructive surgery. Although I do have scars now a mastectomy would be so drastic that self image would play a huge role for me.

[St. Augustine]

Originally Posted by BradAndJanet

Sure I would! I'm not one to get too hung up on physical attraction. For instance, I think my co-workers would be shocked by which women we work with I find sexy. It's not the 'model material' blonde everyone else talks about, it's that slightly overweight older woman with the knowing eyes that sets me off. She's got the mischievous smile and the playful attitude that tells me she'd be a lot of fun in the sack. Scars don't matter to me; it's what's between the ears that does. -B

Glad to see that someone else feels that way... I am a 46 year old woman. I am very large breasted and have about 20 extra pounds. I have this huge scar along the bikini line from have 2 children by C-section... it is something that I am self-conscious about as this has given me a slight abdominal pouch that no amount of excercise gets rid of because of having the muscles cut and trimmed. I find it offensive to me personally when I read ads that are written by the female partner that state... "unless you look like us beautiful people do not attempt to contact us." They have no idea what they are missing by keeping the normal, average looking people away.

As far as swinging with a woman who has had breast surgery I wouldn't hesitate in the least and I know that Mike feels the same way. A dear friend of mine went through a double mastectomy 4 years ago. She opted for the reconstructive surgery and I've seen her breasts... the only scar I could see was a thin whitish line beneath both breasts.. so I guess it depends on what surgeon you use and how talented he/she is when closing the surgery site.

Cathy

[TNT]

We have played with a couple in which the woman had had breast cancer surgery, not a total mastectomy but close to it with extensive scarring. It was not a factor at all once we started, and we would not hesitate to play with anyone who had even a double mastectomy if we liked them otherwise. If she still has image issues, what could help more than being desired and pampered by the other three?

Ted

[Elusive BiFem]

I'm finding it interesting that most replies to this thread indicate that most people would not have any problem playing with someone that had undergone mastectomy. However, with just a couple of exceptions, most have not answered the question about....

If you were diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have a mastectomy, would you continue swinging?

The other thing...Brad, TNT, Mr. WS...I have no doubt women the world over would appreciate your responses. Facing breast cancer and the loss of their breast is such a huge emotional experience for most women. Interesting, isn't it...that we (especially females) put so much emphasis on our breasts. Possibly more so than men to.

For me...I don't think the fact that a woman had had a mastectomy would give me a seconds pause. Except for, "Gosh! I'm sorry you had to go through that experience..." it would make no difference to me. However? Would I play? Nope. Absolutely not. I just can't see myself doing that. And...I wonder why.

Not that it matters, and I wasn't thinking about this when I originally started this thread, but I have a strong family history of breast cancer. My grandmother died of it, and my mother had bilateral mastectomy at about my age. Obviously, it is something that lurks in the back of my mind.

Since I haven't gotten many responses from women in terms of "would you play," I think I'll post a simple poll on the subject.

- EBF

[Elusive BiFem]

OK...I was thinking I might get better responses with an anonymous poll on the topic of playing if you had undergone mastectomy.

This poll is primarily for women, but men...if your partner doesn't visit the board, how about asking her and voting in the poll for her. That'll work, too.

- EBF

[TNT]

Yes I would play...after I was over all the emotional stuff, surgery, chemo, radiation, whatever it would take to make sure I was healthy again.

Teresa

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally Posted by TNT

Yes I would play...after I was over all the emotional stuff, surgery, chemo, radiation, whatever it would take to make sure I was healthy again.

Teresa

Thanks for the answer. And...when we do decide to meet - whatever city - you might think about leading a discussion on body image. And I am 100% serious about that. Not joking. I think it is really important to all of us.

- EBF (no smiley face - intentional)