Does a History of Cheating Lead to Swinging?

[ChloeandHubby]

So agree with you hot blonde. We avoid people like that like the plaque. We don't want to be around when the shit "hits the fan" and "unknowing" husbands and wives come looking for us..or worse yet a legal suit "claiming" alienation of affection and we only swung with their partners and had no idea! No thanks, its committed couples or nothing happens ~ not even an email or phone call!

[good times]

We have also ran into two couples who were maried but not to each other. We didn't want to play with them but we talked to the second couple enough to find out that evidentely cheaters think of swing clubs as places they can go where they are unlikely to get caught.

[Rett]

Stoutgatte,

According to the poll results sofar, the great majority have been involved with a cheating partner at one time or the other.

That's interesting, but I don't think one can gather a good conclusion dependent on the questions asked: if it relates to commited couples, married, or single persons playing the field ? Whether it was while living the lifestyle of swinging? Whether the respondents have been into swinging or just thinking of it? Did the cheating take place before they were swingers or after? It might also be interesting to know the age groups of the respondents or at what period in time the cheating occured. After several years into the relationship together or a shorter period of time. Maybe another question might be : What was the reason given behind or for the cheating?

I guess that's a few of the questions . Very interesting poll though, sofar.
Thanks for starting it.

[Rett]

Stoutgatte,

Just another thought in regards to cheating swingers -or- cheating partners.

Was it the Male, Female, or Both that cheated?

[onenosbest]

We have come across a cpl the other day at a swing site who wanted to swing with us. Once we found out by their profile that they have other spouses we backed out as fast as we could.

I am just curious though for the cpls who cheat while swinging out there how many really get turned down from being with another cpl because of the issue they brought upon themselves..

[Chicup]

I have a hard time understanding why active swingers would feel the need to cheat. While I've never cheated on my wife, before we were swinging I would sometimes think 'what if that attractive woman came onto me' type of things. After swinging those thoughts have gone away completely. Being that almost everyone who works for me if female, thats a good thing

I guess this is why we only play with couples who are married and we know a little about first.

[xxoticangel]

I will be the first to shamefully admit that I cheated on my ex numerous times. Angel also had several affairs while married to her ex. I was young, stupid, and sexually unsatisified which is no excuse but still a fact. Now that I am older and in a swinging relationship with my wife I have noticed that my desire to cheat has evaporated. Most of it is my love for my wife and my desire not to disappoint her. Part of it though is knowing that if a girl came along that I wanted she would let me. We've discussed this in the past and she feels the same way. Something about having the freedom diminshes the desire.

[stoutgatte]

Ok, I was a naughty boy here, started the thread and left... Back for a bit now...

I'm fairly open about the fact that I cheated on my wife, and she had an affair, just wanted to clear that, so no-one can say: "But you ask and don't tell... "

I don't know if there is enough votes to actually say swingers cheat more often. 60 votes isn't exactly representative of the general swinging population by more than say 15% accurate... But it does seem a little high.

As for people swinging as a couple but not with their spouses, we've been approached by at least 2 couples in exactly that situation, and ran like hell...

[robnbarb]

Well I once cheated on an ex-girlfriend, but not for sex, it was because I wanted out of the relationship and she kept clinging to me like flypaper. even cheating on her was not enough. but that is another story.

I never considered swinging until I was in a realtionship I trusted. even then I wondered my motives, but eventually I have come to the determination there are fantasys I want to do, and I want to do them with my wife, not a bunch of strangers.

To me, cheating is about hurting someone. Keeping anything from someone you say you love is just wrong.

[Jamie&Kieth]

Cheating has never really been an issue in our lives. Prior to meeting my husband I never really had a serious relationship nor did my husband. Although we were both sexually active before we met, we were not in 'serious relationships'.

Since we have been together we have never 'cheated' on each other. We do swing/group sex but it has always been together. There was one time when my husband was in Europe for about 2 months and I was with 3 kids at the time, feeling lonely, fustrated and horny.

Ended up having a 5 some with the people we swing with, after it happened I called him and told him why and what happened. He was very understanding, so I really do not call that cheating.

We have always been truthful with each other and to my knowledge he has never cheated on me. So thats it!

[Paramour2_99]

No surprises here in this poll at all,,,,,, "X" Swinger

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Paramour2_99

No surprises here in this poll at all,,,,,, "X" Swinger

Mostly because you don't have a scientific backround. Now maybe you were a cheater, and my guess lust fills your heart even now, but without a comparison to non-swinging data, no conclusions can be reached.

Based on the divorce rate, I think you will find very similar stats for the vanilla world as well.

Of course you already stated that swingers always cheat, but from the looks of this as well, it seems most people who cheated did so prior to swinging.

[sweetdelite]

We can't even think about cheating. Our trust is so strong and the thought of hurting Mr. or Mrs Sweetdelite or losing the smallest bit of trust is unimaginable.

Mr and Mrs Sweetdelite....yum

[Paramour2_99]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Mostly because you don't have a scientific backround. Now maybe you were a cheater, and my guess lust fills your heart even now, but without a comparison to non-swinging data, no conclusions can be reached.

Based on the divorce rate, I think you will find very similar stats for the vanilla world as well.

Of course you already stated that swingers always cheat, but from the looks of this as well, it seems most people who cheated did so prior to swinging.

These stats speak for the members of this board and visitors who posted their opinions, no "science" is required to see that. The "vanilla" world has it's fair share of marital/relationship indescretions surely - but it would've been a greater surprise to read that "those in this board" (and not all swingers) either won't cheat at if it's convinient or have not been desensitized to cheating due to having been cheated on in their past.

,,,,,,Sincerely "X" Swinger
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ Every Soul Has A Watcher ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

[Paramour2_99]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Mostly because you don't have a scientific backround. Now maybe you were a cheater, and my guess lust fills your heart even now, but without a comparison to non-swinging data, no conclusions can be reached.

Based on the divorce rate, I think you will find very similar stats for the vanilla world as well.

Of course you already stated that swingers always cheat, but from the looks of this as well, it seems most people who cheated did so prior to swinging.

As far as me being a cheater - before I became born again cheating (aka swinging) was possible, and lust filling my heart now - not so much now as before I became serious about Christ. SOme things are a constant battle but now I see a beautiful woman in a different light. The first look recognizes the beauty - the second look or continued gaze allows lust to kick in.

Now there's allot less second looks and gazing.

Thanks for your concern though Chicup

Sincerely "X" Swinger