Is it a Lifestyle or a Hobby?

[JustAskJulie]

Vegas Lee posted something a few days ago regarding the difference between Swinging and being in "The Lifestyle", meaning that there are those who look at swinging as a full on lifestyle and they live it day to day, and there are those who occasionally swap partners.

I would be interested to read others thoughts on that post and to see whether or not you consider swinging a Lifestyle or just a Hobby.

[TNT]

Lifestyle or Hobby? Both would be our answer.

When we think of a Hobby...by definition a hobby is something done for pleasure and fun...we consider having sex with others a hobby. To us it is no different than car buffs going to car shows every weekend, searching for that one special part you need, enjoying spending time with others that have the same interest as you.

When we think of it as a Lifestyle...by definition, the way you live your life...yes, it is the way we live our life. It affects the way we view the world and the way we live our life and the plans we make for the now and the future. Our leisure time is planned around what event is going on and/or who we can meet this weekend. Vacations are planned so that there is a club or event near by we can attend. The way we look and interact with people, even in the vanilla world, has changed. We voice our opinions on controversial issues more openly now than we used to in the past. Even the way we talk to our children has changed in that we strongly preach against prejudice of any kind. We have activities outside of swinging but even then swinging occupies a large part of our thought process.

Swinging is part and parcel of who we are.

If you ask one man who he is he may say an accountant...the man who works in the next cubicle may say he’s a body builder, due to his passion for the sport that’s what he identifies himself as being...

Ask us who we are...We are swingers.

Ted & Teresa

[HotCoupleGnS]

I totally agree wiht what TNT said. But i voted for it being a hobby. We have 2 very young kids, (1 year & 3 years) so this is something we don't get to do a whole lot. WE would love to do it more often. But family comes first. Also, it is not something we want our kids to know about, no matter how old they are. So while it is a hobby for the time being, hopefully one day it could be a true lifestyle!

[Spoomonkey]

For us it is a lifestyle.

I am not going to become a political activist over it, but then again, I am not sure there is much of a reason to be. I do not consider it on the same plane as the civil rights nightmare that homesexuals have faced - and still face. I could certainly choose to leave the lifestyle if I needed to - and I can appear as 100% "vanilla" to people at work with very little trouble.

There isn't much parallel between homosexuals and swingers, except that what we do involves sex, IMHO.

Fortunately, we live in a country where we are relatively free to indulge our little kinks...

But even more fortunately, I am married to such an incredible woman that if I needed to leave the lifestyle, I could and not miss it much. My feeling is, what is the point of being politically active if their aren't people out there who are taking advantage of what you are fighting for? We are one of those couples who is taking advantage of it...



And it's good...

Spoomonkey

[Alura]

We were wishy-washy. Thinking it over, though, we think "hobby" would be more accurate since we don't live the "lifestyle," only enjoy it on occasion.

Alura

[EternallySingle]

I know some guys who are HARDCORE skydivers. Eventually they all received their jumpmaster certifications, used the plane as collateral, and opened a school in near where I live.

But they consider skydiving as their hobby. Its a hobby that takes up much of their time and cost them a lot of money. Its a hobby that they take time to teach others how to do safely. Its a hobby that has made them money over the years. But its still a hobby. One that could very likely take one of their lives. What did Jeff say when I asked if he could never jump again? "I'll talk about my experiences to anyone who would listen, relive my favorite moments when I have the time, and take care of my wife and kids the best way I can. Wait, I do that now. hahaha."

To me, that is swinging. Its as big or as small a part of my life as I want it to be at a particular time, but its just a part, not my whole life. There are other things that are going on, like music, camping, writing, programming, etc. that I like and talk about just as much. Its important to me, just like writing or camping or whatever, but just as I can put any of them aside for however long, I can and have put swinging aside for years. Its not something I would (or have) deny if asked, but its not something I advertise to any and everyone.

I didnt vote because I dont think we consider it either.

We dont consider it a lifestyle and hobby seems to "model airplane".

We just like to have fun and having sex with others brings fun to a whole new level we do not get with our "Vanilla" friends.

Just my thoughts.

[OhioCouple]

We answered hobby. Mostly because the term 'lifestyle' to us, means that it is of the utmost importance and something that your life revolves around when considering other activities.

[Brit_Pair]

Originally Posted by OhioCouple

We answered hobby. Mostly because the term 'lifestyle' to us, means that it is of the utmost importance and something that your life revolves around when considering other activities.

Of the three choices, the one that fit best was 'hobby', for the same reasons that Mrs O outlined above. However, like Mr&Mrs-naughty, we'd have selected 'neither' had it been an option. For us, one description implies something too serious, the other something not serious enough.

[danc694u]

Hobby? Lifestyle?

We picked hobby, mainly because the time we actually spend doing it is very limited. Much like a hobby.

We do consider ourselves "lifestyle" though. It affects everything we do as a couple. We go to "straight" bars. We're looking at potential couples & singles. We're at the mall, we're looking at other couples and singles. Generally discussing taste and whether we think the other person(s) might be interested. (We know the answer already )We watch TV, we commonly joke with each other about people on TV we would like to have. The joke part usually runs between whether we would let the other watch/participate, or make them wait in the other room, while one of us done some really freaky things with this party/parties

We do manage to keep things very seperate when among family and (certian) friends. But rest assured, there is little doubt when you meet us (in a "regular bar"), that something is just not quiet right/normal.

[De and Ci]

We answered hobby, While it has made me think deeper about issues of privacy and prejudice, it's just one of the many activities we enjoy.

[texasfans2003]

We answered "lifestyle" for the same reasons that TNT mentioned. However, we have not planned any vacations around swinging. Those we consider to be our true friends and ones we can turn to are all swingers. They would come to our aid in a heartbeat. And like Spoonmonkey, we are taking advantage of our friends in a "swinging" way. But in the same light, aren't they taking advantage of us as well? Really, our swinger friends are much more sincere and we often do many things together and not play. However, it is really great to not have to censor what we say or do as we would have to in a vanilla crowd. That's our take on it and I only had two cents.....

[WesternSwing]

I voted hobby because we have so much other stuff going on in our lives. Between two jobs and school-age children (and all that comes with that) we do it when opportunity permits.

Mr. WS

[fun_pairTX]

To us it is a hobby, FISHING is a lifestyle............................

[Eroica]

Only a hobby or an occasional adventure. We have seen too many lifestyle/ every weekend couples having marital problems. Small sample size but kind of scary for us.

Everthing in moderation!