Is it a Lifestyle or a Hobby?

[adventureUS2]

I think it is more like a secret society. like the free masons or something to that effect. I think we need a hand shake or secret knock, and a catchy title. Welcome to the Secrete Order of the Wife Swappers Society(SOWSS) maybe we can have formal meetings to vote on issues like the 4sum memorial in front of the Washington monument. All in favor say I

[reguyngirlky]

We think it is a hobby; it is for fun, for relaxation, and there just is not alot of time to spend on it do to "professional lives". Thus it is a hobby.

It could only be a lifestyle if you were independantly wealthy!

[Pepper & Drew]

I was talking about this with a FRIEND (that's our code ) the other day and we created this whole analogy about swinging is like knitting. For us, it's a hobby. If you went to a sewing circle, and you met other people there, you'd probably start talking about knitting stuff, but you may find other interests and things to talk about. You may meet up to knit together, or get together to do something else. And, you may meet some really cool people that you would have never met if you hadn't been interested in your hobby--knitting. Well, the analogy was a lot interesting when we were talking about it then....
Pepper

[findtime]

It's a hobby to us as it's something we do for fun.
We've had to incorporate it into our lifestyle as some changes must be made to allow it to happen. Places we go, things we talk about, friendships we make etc..
There wouldn't be a huge void if we never did it again, really, and I believe if something is part of your lifestyle, there's effort involved when purging it from your habits.
Based on my limited knowledge of the subject,and for the sake of comparison, I believe Doms and subs live a lifestyle. I don't necessarily think that's the way of it for most swingers. At least not for us.

[JustAskJulie]

This poll is once again relevant to a thread started by Vegas Lee, only this time it's his question on whether or not your "Hobby is Worth the Risks".

[sweet_tna]

Does it matter? That was the point I made in Lee's thread. I scrapbook as a hobby, though I haven't actively done it in awhile. I spent money on materials, went to scrapping parties, spent time at home working on my albums, and met some new people. In that vein, Mr. Sweet and I go to meet & greets and house parties, we spend money for admission and clothes/costumes, we entertain playmates in our home, and have obviously met some new people.

But my life revolves around my family--I'm a Stay-At-Home mom, and I volunteer at my kids' school and with their sports teams. It affects my day-to-day activities and interactions with others. So does swinging. We schedule sitters so that Mr. Sweet and I can go to events, we have invited play friends to family events, and I spend time here and on the board for an sls group I'm a moderator of. So in that regard, this is a lifestyle for us.

To try and define it this way seems like splitting hairs. We're swingers--can't it be that simple?

=)

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

For us it is a lifestyle.

Man, how opinions change over time.

I see it as something we do - a hobby - not something we are. I don't think it being a lifestyle is any better than it being a hobby, and like sweet_tna, consider the argument to be one that is more about splitting hairs than anything at all.

We have sex with other people now and then. Some times we are pretty active - some times, like now, we are taking it easy and laying a bit low. I guess those busy times, when each day is just another step in preparation for the next Friday and the next party it can feel a little bit like it is your life - but I'd be hesitant to say it is our lifestyle.

Swinging is something we do - not something we are; similar, I guess, to the difference between people who choose to sky dive on the weekends and paratroopers...

Like sweet_tna said in the other thread, the risks are the same. The ground is just as hard if the chute doesn't open whether you jump as a hobby or a job.

Spoomonkey

[sexcupid]

We view it as a hobby. Something we like to do, for fun, when the rest of the craziness that is life permits us to.

We tried the go out to the club, party every weekend thing a few months into our experience. And quickly found out that would just lead us to a burnout and quickly. I think that lasted around a month or so for us before we dropped back to our 'every now and then' comfort level.

Some of our friends have started hosting hotel parties that will probably happen once a month or so. And since we like the company, we will probably go to those.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Like sweet_tna said in the other thread, the risks are the same. The ground is just as hard if the chute doesn't open whether you jump as a hobby or a job.

I guess I'm a paratrooper then. Whether I'm actively swinging or not (as in going out to clubs, playing with others, etc) I'm still a swinger. This site adds to that because again whether I'm active or not I'm tied to the lifestyle by this site. I tried to give it (the site) up once and found that I couldn't. Even if today my Pet came home and said "we can't do swing anymore", there would still be the site and he knows that. He was introduced to the idea of swinging BECAUSE of the site more than the activity and understood from the getgo that it was part of my life.

I have watched as others who have jumped into the lifestyle and written books or whatnot have gotten "found out" by their vanilla lives and then felt the need to throw away all that they had done. I can't see doing that. If this were a hobby, I'd be willing to give it up in a heartbeat because it caused me some grief, a lifestyle is a different story.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I guess I'm a paratrooper then.

I bet you'd look pretty hot in the boots

Spoomonkey

[SnakeBabe]

This is an interesting post. I am not sure what to pick.
After reading Lee’s post I am leaning toward picking hobby. We think of it as something we enjoy but I do not feel it is my identity or lifestyle. This “hobby term” seems like it’s the middle ground between lifestyle and vanilla but what else is there to call us occasional players or sexually open couple. Do we even need a “title”?


Hugs and Hissessss,
Maria

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I guess I'm a paratrooper then.

Consider us soldiers in that same unit. Although we aren't as tied to our website as Julie is to the Swingers Board, we don't see a day when we will ever stop being swingers. Virtually our entire social life revolves around swinging, so it is definitely a lifestyle for us. Anything less would render it a mere hobby.

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

We're swingers--can't it be that simple?

=)

That's what I'm talkin' about.

If we're active or not, we consider ourselves swingers.

[two4youinswva]

I guess it's a hobby for us.

If it were a lifestyle for us, then we would also be in the golfing lifestyle, RVing lifestyle, working lifestyle, computer lifestyle, carnival cruise lifestyle, etc etc.

[intuition897]

I had to say it was a lifestyle. But we need to examine a bit exactly how we define "lifestyle".

The reason I said, for us, it was a lifestyle is because, after being away from actively playing for as long as we have, I'm realizing that there are certain bells you can't un-riing. Can you go back to monogamy? Sure. We effectively have and it hasn't harmed our relationship at all. But we still fully agree with all the principles of swinging and it is our preferred relationship style. Just because it's more fun, and it does't make sense to limit ourselves this way when we don't actually need to.

So I think as far as the psychology of it goes, it's definitely a lifestyle. It's just a different way of thinking and looking at things, a different way of measuring the success of our relationship. Whether or not we put it into practice is sort of beside the point, and the actual playing is more like a hobby.