larger people

[Curious&scared]

Another BBW here. We've decided that we'd be more comfortable with someone/(s) in our same size range are are looking for, in a female, someone of about my size. We're talking to a couple now who's female half is a little heavier than I and we may be planning a trip to a hot tub club. I have decided that if we do indeed get naked, I will feel much more comfortable this way.

[tazzie_n_truck]

We are both big people. We have found most people we have come accross in the lifestyle have been very nice to us and have treated us as people and havn't made fun of us because of our being overweight. Granted we have come accross people who have been very rude to us about our appearance, but our feeling is this.

What you see on the outside dosn't tell you what the person is really like. We have come accross some bigger people who have the best attitude and love life and enjoy themselves, and we have come accross thin people who you would think the world is falling down around them.

But in our exprieinces, we have hardly come across anybody in the lifestyle who has been rude to us about our weight and appearance.

Good luck to you.

[wolfmaiden]

I am a bbw and still get guys asking me for my phone number. I say no thanks I am married. Like the others have said it is all in the attitude.

[1freakincpl]

you shouldnt worry about ur size. You will be surprised at how many men and women would love to have you. My wife and I have been swingin for 4 years and a lot of ppl find her very, very attractive and desireable. The question you should be askin is will you find someone at these clubs that turn you on or make your panties wet.
TILL THEN HAPPY HUMPIN
1FREAKINCPL

[tazzie_n_truck]

We agree with 1freakincpl, don't worry about your size, people will like you for who you are and not what you look like, we have come across alot of people who have looked past what we look like on the outside and we can easily say that they are some of our best friends.

[lauralee]

Ahhh I'm so glad I found this post.
Recently I have lost almost 50 pounds, bit I'm still a 'big girl' & the worry that I may not fit in this lifestlye was weighing on me. Glad to see it won't be a problem

[WA_Cple]

Mrs here

I think the best advice I've gotten has been from Julie - as a BBW I am not always comfie getting naked in front of people right away but I want to feel sexy... she recommended wearing lingerie that is sexy and accessible...

Hubby and I had our first swinging experience last week and it was absolutely incredible... there were people there of every size and shape and while it felt a little clique-ish - we didn't let other ppl's hangups stand in our way By the time the 4th visit - I was walking around in lingerie boxers and topless... and it felt AWESOME and sexy!

I so appreciate everyone's comments and assurances just to keep a positive attitude and be confident about your sexuality because it is all true.

I don't think BBW are for everyone but I do believe that women are sexy no matter what size they are... hubby and I played with women who were thin and BBW and they were equally incredibly sexy!

[tazzie_n_truck]

Our feeling is, that people who are rude to others about their weight and makes fun of them are very rude, shallow people and your time is better spent with people who appriciate you for who you are and those who look past what you look like on the outside to get to know the real person on the inside.

[leftcoastcouple]

Originally posted by tazzie_n_truck
Our feeling is, that people who are rude to others about their weight and makes fun of them are very rude, shallow people and your time is better spent with people who appriciate you for who you are and those who look past what you look like on the outside to get to know the real person on the inside.

I'll agree with you, tazzie_n_truck, that anyone who'd make fun of a person because of their weight (or any other physical characteristic, for that matter) is rude and not worth your time or worry. But I'm going to play Devil's Advocate beyond that point.

To characterize anyone who prefers the appearance of thinner people as "shallow" because they won't "look past what you look like on the outside to get to know the real person on the inside"...well, I take exception with that.

I've recently lost about 40 pounds (and am on my way to losing another 10-15) on my doctor's advice, but also because I didn't like how I looked or felt heavier. My wife's in a similar weight-loss pattern. I mention this only to make the point that we're not gym rats or anything--we've been heavy, so we know what it feels like to be viewed that way and how heavier people are sometimes treated by others.

Yet, even when I was heavier, I did not generally find large women sexually appealing, nor do I now. And I can say that having been with a drop-dead gorgeous friend of ours who happened to be heavy. She was stunningingly beautiful, had ample curves in the right places, and a vivacious personality to match, but even though I'd lusted for her long before we hooked up, it didn't work for me when the clothes came off.

So, when my wife and I discussed our preferences for those with whom we'd consider swinging, we agreed that as a rule, we would not pursue anyone more than slightly overweight. Same goes for smokers, thinner couples whose personalities turn us off, redheads (not her thing), tall couples (not mine), etc. It's just a matter of preference, and there's obviously no point in swinging with a couple with attributes we aren't attracted to for the sake of being PC, right? You can't force (or realistically, change) what turns you on, and each of us is turned on (or not) by different things.

Please don't shoot me for being honest. Remember, I was big myself until recently (and am still far from "thin"). Hell, one of my best friends in the whole world is large, as his wife, and while they're warm, wonderful, attractive people with whom my wife and I love spending time, we just don't want to sleep with them. Size matters little to us until the subject of sex comes up. But I bristle over comments that make it sound as if there's something wrong with those of us who find larger folks less appealing sexually, and I felt the need to say something.

[tazzie_n_truck]

Hey, leftcoastcouple, that is totally your opinion. We are not saying that we are happy with the way we look either and we are trying to lose the weight. We were just speaking from our personal expriences from the people who treated us rudely about our weight and appearance, they were very shallow people. Not saying that everyone is, just that was what our expirience was.

Truck has been able to lose about 20lbs lately, Tazzie is pregnant and plans on working on losing as much weight as she can after the baby is born.

But good luck to you.

[leftcoastcouple]

Dammit, it sounds like I offended you guys, and that was NOT my intent. Farthest thing from it, so I'm hoping not.

I tried to be as clear as I could that I was NOT bragging about having lost weight--that it was only mentioned to give our perspective--and that we didn't find those heavier than us unattractive, just not the object of our fantasies.

Guys, I hope you got my point. My intentions were good, honest. Just felt like the other side needed to be aired.

Good luck with the pregnancy. We're definitely parents first, all things (including swingers) second!

[WA_Cple]

Variety is the spice of life and its great that everyone has opinions about what is attractive and what is not attractive.

Thats what makes America great... there's a little bit of something for everyone here and its our God given right!

I have opinions about what I find attractive vs. what I don't find attractive but I would never want my feelings to impact someone in a negative way.

The M half of a couple that we played with last week had a VERY small cock... I mean itty bitty... but I didn't go "ew! get that little thing away from me"... I gave him a hand job while playing with his wife. Now prior to playing... I had no idea he had a small cock and to be honest with you... its not the most attractive thing for me personally. But it was still an erotic experience after I got over my initial surprise.

I don't know what that has to do with anything... except to say that perhaps life is a better experience when we are open to all of its experiences rather then closing our minds to things that we think we may or may not enjoy.

Mrs. WA

[tazzie_n_truck]

Hey leftcoastcouple, we were not offended, we were just wanting to say what we have expirienced from our point of view.

Thanks about the pregnancy, it's our 3rd child we are expecting and due July 4th.

[cpl_from_ct]

we tried the one in hartford,ct and we are average looking and weight.
we just went to look around and didnt expect to swing but it seemed everyone knew each other there that night. we didnt get hit on but we didnt try hitting on other's either

i would say try it once it didn't kill us but the nerves where racing as we got closer hehehe. but overall it wasn't a bad experiance.

[Vjklander]

Size has never been a determining factor for us. A warm, honest, intelligent, humourous male, female, or couple is what we look for.
J