Self concious about body

[grabbyzz]

Hi, my wife and I have talked alot about trying this, even met a few couples. But wife is self concious about her body, thinks she's fat. In her words, " I'm not sharing this fat, white ass with anybody...."
Any suggestions in how to lose the " fat white ass"? Shes tried alot of different things, diet, exercise, metabolife, etc....

[couplela]

I think it's more important to realize that we all have self-conscious things here, and there.. And that my girlfriend is like 100 #'s and still gets nervous about people seeing her body! I am proud of my somewhat dumpy body, but tanning just a little helps *alot* -- you'd be surprised!
Anyway good luck, and if it means anything to ya, I think I can have my pick with the ladies, and I love a big ass!
-couplela

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by grabbyzz
Hi, my wife and I have talked alot about trying this, even met a few couples. But wife is self concious about her body, thinks she's fat. In her words, " I'm not sharing this fat, white ass with anybody...."
Any suggestions in how to lose the " fat white ass"? Shes tried alot of different things, diet, exercise, metabolife, etc....

If you want to get right down to it...for all of us, the first step in becoming comfortable with our own fat, white asses, whatever they may be, is becoming comfortable with ourselves for who and what we are. The rest will follow.
- EBF

[bear_n_bunny]

Originally posted by Elusive BiFem
If you want to get right down to it...for all of us, the first step in becoming comfortable with our own fat, white asses, whatever they may be, is becoming comfortable with ourselves for who and what we are. The rest will follow.
- EBF

You are a bloody genius, woman. Do you know how sexy intelligence is? Keep this up and we will have to come up to Dallas just to well and truly jump your bones...

But I digress...

As for grabbyzz's wife, on the one hand, if she really wants to get rid of that "fat white ass" (which is a shame, cuz I LOOOVE big bottoms...oops, digressing again), the short answer is burn more fuel (i.e. body fat) than you take in and get regular exercise. I say this as a man who has been involved with a number of BBWs over the years, some of whom did this.

However, EBF is quite correct. She needs to get comfortable with who she is, and that includes her shape. Aside from the usual number of Barbie and Ken clone assholes who turn up their noses at anyone who can't grace the cover of Cosmo or GQ, she will find that there are a helluva lot of people out there who will find her attractive and desirable just as she is. Real sexiness and allure come from within.

-- Bear

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by bear_n_bunny
You are a bloody genius, woman. Do you know how sexy intelligence is? Keep this up and we will have to come up to Dallas just to well and truly jump your bones...

-- Bear

MENSA here I come!!

Now wouldn't that be one heck of a party...a bunch of swinging MENSA members...I can just see it...one of those uptight meetings...everyone sitting around "discussing" their various philosophies and esoteric theories and interest...and suddenly, with Bear leading the pack, "Come on! Cut the crap! Off with the clothes and let's loosen this party up!"

Ahhh...just the visual makes me laugh out loud! - EBF

[windsor4fun2]

If everyone with "fat white asses" stayed out of the lifestyle there would be a lot fewer swingers.

To loose the ass you have to do as others suggested. Diet and exercise. The main thing is to be comfortable with yourself.

Jesse

[M&B]

Originally posted by Elusive BiFem
MENSA here I come!!

Now wouldn't that be one heck of a party...a bunch of swinging MENSA members......and suddenly, with Bear leading the pack, "Come on! Cut the crap! Off with the clothes and let's loosen this party up!"

- EBF

Bear, what would happen to a MENSA member if you fucked her brains out? Would she have to leave?

I think of these things sometimes. I don't know why. They just come to me.

[fun_pairTX]

I'll ponder that one for a while. If you want to gauge a little perplexation on your own, consider telling a bipolar hermaphrodite to go screw themself. What would the results be.

grabbyzz,

Tell Mrs to flaunt what she got. When I drop my shirt and drawers I resemble a bear and nobody has barfed on me yet. The biggest assets in swinging are personality, humor and confidence, and the real swingers know this. Swinging is like serving haute cusine, 90% is the presentation.

[M&B]

Exactly, fun_pairTX. As was recently noted, intelligence is sexy as can be. So is humor, a fun spirit, and let's not forget a strong libido.

Let's face it- the Maker doesn't make junk. While lots of us want to be better than we are, no one can ever be better at being who each of us are- except ourselves.

grabbyzz, I think that your encouragement seasoned with loving compliments and your constant loving attention towards her can help her over a body image problem.

Excersize and diet never hurts, but, self image begins in the mind.

[mifligirl25]

i happen to think that self confidence it the is even sexier than a great physical appearance, this coming from one who believes that personality goes a long ways. i am also what most might consider a young swinger only 25 however i think older men are sexy, my husband is much older than i and i find it extremely sexy that he is so confident it ever way

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by Elusive BiFem
If you want to get right down to it...for all of us, the first step in becoming comfortable with our own fat, white asses, whatever they may be, is becoming comfortable with ourselves for who and what we are. The rest will follow.
- EBF

It's hard to say it any better than that...

What it took for us was getting out and meeting other swingers in a club environment. Looking around the room, we realized that swingers come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and that sexy hasn't got as much to do with what you look like as it does with how comfortable you are with yourself.

See if you can find an off-premise club or "meet 'n greet" near you. I think you'll find out the same thing we did, that most swingers are just regular folks and there's no need to be self-conscious about what most will see as a very beautiful ass

-B

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by grabbyzz
...
Any suggestions in how to lose the " fat white ass"? Shes tried alot of different things, diet, exercise, metabolife, etc....

OK, here's some practical advice for you grabbyzz, to answer your specific question...

What's worked for us is the Atkins diet. I've lost about 30 pounds and J has lost around 50. The Atkins plan agrees with us and we'll continue to eat this way, even after we attain body weights we are happy with. I simply feel better, and have less heartburn and lower cholesterol than before. My doctor is thrilled.

I have no idea if it would work for your wife. Like any diet, if you feel deprived the whole time and don't make it a lifestyle change you can live with forever, when you stop 'dieting' the weight will come back on and will be harder to lose the second time around. She'll have to continue to try things to see what works for her if she wants to lose weight.

I will point out, however, that we did not wait for our fat, white (and in my case, hairy) asses to get smaller before we started swinging. We found plenty of people who would accept us as we were. We lost weight to improve our health and to (theoretically) live longer. I stand by my earlier comments that there is no reason for your wife to hold herself back because she thinks she's fat.

-B

[OhioCouple]

I'm certainly no medical expert, and at this time in my life right now, I am not at my desired weight. However I am a woman and I'll give you what my impression was by reading grabyzz's original posting.

But wife is self concious about her body, thinks she's fat. In her words, " I'm not sharing this fat, white ass with anybody...."
Any suggestions in how to lose the " fat white ass"? Shes tried alot of different things, diet, exercise, metabolife, etc....

Note that many different things have been tried. As those who have said "She needs to be comfortable with herself"....that statement couldn't be more true.

I believe our lives are connected to our own personal happiness. This equates into not only your energy levels but diet. I've had periods in my life where I would get overweight during depressing or stressfull times, and others where I was so thin, I had the doctors running tests to make sure that I didn't have some life threatening illness. I was just simply having so much fun that my metabolism was very high.

As another stated here, we too have not had any problem attracting other swingers. Not only is my fat white ass a factor, we have the age factor too. I've just never seen it to be a problem. And if it hasn't been a problem for us, it won't be for anyone else either.

So grabyzz's, my suggestion is talk to your wife. Find out what the real issue is. If she hasn't already, have her get involved with you on this board. She is going to see there are a whole lot of us that have or even still do, feel the same as she does right now.

Best wishes.

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by Chicup
What I ment was someone who knows they have heart disease, or another serious problem, should contact their doctor and knows this.

On the other hand if you are 30 with no previous problems and ask your doctor if its ok if you exercise, what do you think they are going to tell you?

I guess I'm being particularly argumentative tonight for some reason...go figure!

But in terms of asking a doctor...under 30, no previous problems...right off, we don't know the wife's age - the person that was the original subject of this post.

Beyond that...the doctor will PROBABLY tell the under 30 person to go for it - no problem. But every now and then...what is it? The silent Q-T syndrome? Previously undiagnosed mitral valve disease? Or maybe the person with the constant aching deep in the calf muscle...thinking they've pulled a muscle or something? Oops! DVT. Sorry...guess I should have told them to check with their doctor. CYA. You're absolutely right. CYA for me, but most importantly, CTA for them. - EBF

And actually...writing this...I just realized my reasons for my nasty mood as far as this is concerned. I'm going to leave the comments, but also offer up my apology for coming across in a rather antagonistic manner. However, I still believe, and always will, that body self-image is the most important thing in terms of weight control issues - among other things.

[mifligirl25]

To each their own I say, whatever it takes to make you feel good. Most are smart enough to know their body and their limits!!!