Height/wieght proportional. ... yeah right......

I don't understand this sensitivity stuff...

If you are fat and happy SAY you are fat and happy (as some did here). Don't whine about people passing you up because you are fat, thats just the way it is, and if you are happy being fat it shouldn't bother you all that much. Not everyone is going to want to have sex with you for a great number of reasons, being fat is just one of the possible ones.

I'm going bald. It makes me look older and less attractive, this is just the way it is. I'd like to have a full head of hair and I could do it (kinda hehe) with the 'Hair club' or the like but I choose not to, its not worth my money or effort. The same applies for weight, and while some people can keep weight off easier then others, its a rare day I see a woman 200+lbs order only the salad and equally rare I see the 120lb woman order the extra french fries. I was a waiter for a while, so I know what people eat pretty well .

Now if you are happy with it don't whine that not everyone finds you attractive which is what most of these posts start out as and I've seen a boatload of them over the years. Sure some people can be mean about it, but odds are they did you a favor, after all, if you were 'fit' as they wanted it would take you longer to figure out they were assholes.

[clrwtrcpl]

Weighing in...

I am chubby, no doubt about it. Smaller than some, bigger than others. I am not chubby because of a disease or aliens performing experiments on me. I put on weight becuase I like to eat. Open mouth, Enter Twinkie. No mystery there.

Now being bigger I don't think it has endowed me with any mythical sexual powers that would cause some one to "miss out" by choosing not to have sex with me. Don't get me wrong, I think I am pretty damn good, but that's INSPITE of the weight not BECAUSE of the wieght.

Attraction counts. Everyone has a preference. I don't think someone should get down on the folks who don't want to be with overweight people. I am bisexual but I prefer thinner women. I am a hypocritc, I know. But who cares? It's sex! If you can't be politically incorrect in bed, where can you be?

There's my two cents for ya!

Siera

[jcm69]

For what it's worth, i am very sexually attracted to fat, large, plump, etc, women. I enjoy sex with such women more than any other body types because women of size, i find, are very passionate. women with large bodies are a lot of are a lot of fun exploring also. i am not a large man myself, 6', 180lbs and neither is my wife. james

[ddrewd]

A few things from my perspective:

1) I guess I had undersood "HWP" a little differently than many who've posted here. I didn't see "HWP" as very exclusionary. Certainly it excludes those who are obese, but I saw it as a catchall phrase that included those whose physiques weren't perfect but were 'in the ballpark.'

As I used to tell my ex, all a woman needs is a waist. (Her weight fluctuated and she constantly agonized over it.) To me, that's proportion. Measurements don't mean much as long as you have a waist.

2) You can be "overweight" and have a sexually satisfying life. In fact, from the amateur videos I've seen, it seems that "overweight" gals seem to be more often multi-orgasmic than "normal" women.

From those vids I made one very important observation: Every women in the throes of orgasm is beautiful.

Drew

[GypsyWind]

As a single female new to this lifestyle, I must admit the definition of HWP has escaped me. Isn't it really totally subjective?

I've spent most of my life as a slender size 10. But in the last year,because of an illness my metabolism got all out of whack and we are still trying to get it under control. But I have gone up to a size 14 and that has made me self conscious and shy away from ads that insist on HWP people only. I'm not obese, my doctor is not concerned that my weight is at an unhealthy level or anything like that. But when I see those three little letters, HWP, I cringe.

But I'd like to offer something that will perhaps help us keep things in perspective. I wonder, would TommyBoy think that Marilyn Monroe was fat? Would he tell her to "get thee to a gym" or would he to jump her if she had the misfortune to show up on his doorstep? Well good ole Marilyn was one of the greatest sex symbols that ever lived and she didn't wear a size 2. She wore a size 14...imagine that.

I'd like to make a suggestion, the next time you see an ad demanding a person that is HWP, say to yourself, "HWP...Hot With Personality...yep that's me!" And go for it!

[hotcpl4unfla]

My wife and I are healthy and fit. I weightlift and jetski, and she is tall and naturally lean. We are not "perfect". We have a little pudge in the right spots, but are considered "HWP". This is personal preference. Does a larger person have less sex appeal? No. I know some very attractive "heavier" women that are as sexy as hell.By "heavier" I don't mean fat and morbidly obese. On the reverse side of the coin, we are not attracted to rail-thin, skinny "anorexic" people either. My wife wants to be with another woman, and she just so happens to find "HWP" or athletically built women more sexually attractive. After all, isn't sex about finding someone you're sexually attracted to?? The chemistry should be there, and that is indeed a facilitator. We have nothing against "heavyset" people. We just don't find them sexually appealing to us due to our PERSONAL PREFERENCE. We like knowing if someone is "HWP", and we are glad people put it in their ads. It certainly doesn't mean we are looking for fitness models in our quest. Heck, that would make us look out of shape and make us self-conscious! "HWP" just means that you have a build that is "average". You have a little body fat in the right areas, don't have a "six pack" (maybe a four pack), and stay generally active. We are an active couple, so we want our playmate to keep up with us!

[JustAskJulie]

GypsyWind,

That has to be one of the best posts of I've seen on this subject The comment on it being subjective is totally true. I think we all look at people and decide if they are HWP to US (and that even goes with your "new" definition of HWP.

Some will always look at the weight you list with your ad and automatically assume you are overweight or fat without even looking at a picture or meeting you and that is their problem. But don't let those words stop you before you even reply to an ad. Give it a shot and see what happens.

[BigDawg]

Had to chime in with my two cents worth. Tommy Boy is more than welcome to his opinion and to sleep with whatever type of person he wishes to but he has NO BUSINESS insulting people and telling anyone to "get thee to a gym". Say that to the wrong person and you can "get thee to a dentist". Fat people have taken the place of minorities as the group it is OK to make fun of. For years the same jokes were made with minorities as the butt of the joke and now they have just plugged fat people into the same degrading jokes. It isn't as simple as Tommy Boy would like to think. I was an athelete up until 9 years ago when I broke my neck in a bike accident. After almost a year of therapy I got the use of both my arms and legs back but I had gained almost a hundred pounds. Not much else to do but eat when all you can do is lay down for 6 months. When you say things like that try of how you will make someone feel.

Big Dawg

[OhioCouple]

Big Dawg,

Most people that I know swinger and non do not judge people on their size, looks, religion or race. Perhaps, it is because of who we choose to be friends with. (Swing and Non)

Certainly there are some that do, but there are so many out there that do not discriminate on the above factors. For most it is a matter of personality which creates and builds the chemistry and an attraction for friendship or companionship. Unfortunately, some are unable to look beyond the physical aspects of the person and see their inner being. Those are the ones that probably miss having some of the greatest friends or companions in their lives.

Lori

[coolwetbreeze]

Ok...I'm one of those people that use HWP in my ads. I am little...5'4" 115 lbs although my boyfriends scale says 110..(I think it's rigged)I agree with hotcpl. Everyone has an idea of what they want ...I have great "friends" that are not HWP...I love them...but I wouldn't have sex with them...I have friends with great personalities....but I wouldn't have sex with them. I think I am too thin except in certain areas where I need to burn off an inch or two of fat...Not by dieting but by doing the dreaded excercise. And to a lot of people I would not fit into their idea of a great sex partner...But thats ok with me...My guy loves me thin...I have been overweight...went up to 150 lbs with my second child. It was hell losing it because I love to eat...You choose what you eat and you choose if you want to excercise...I choose not to eat too many of the wrong things because I choose not to excercise. The people in the ads may have a killer body, but an ugly face...Well,they have to look good to me too...Who cares about the body if I don't want to look at their face...I also use the word attractive in descibing us...why? Because I want to find attractive people. But that doesn't garantee any more responses from the beautiful people...And just because I consider us attractive does not mean that you will. I know what I'm attracted too and thats what I look for.

[OhioCouple]

Coolwetbreeze,

Very well said. Everyone does have an idea of their "ideal" mate or partner. The only thing I disagree with tho is that some people due to a medical condition do not have the option of dieting or exercise to control weight. I have a cousin who was the picture of health, beautiful, vibrant and quite frankly very sexy looking. She developed a thyroid condition that caused her to put on a lot of weight. It didn't change her inner personality, but it did change her looks.

Had I have only been looking for a certain type of person (physical wise) I would never have considered my husband. I always had the sexual "hots" for macho men types. Ya know the big men, physically fit, muscles bulging from everywhere sort of type. My husband and I had crossed paths for several years due to his business that does private contract work. I had no desire for him physically whatsoever (not that he is unappealing to the eye, just wasn't my type). Our communication with each other was basically business involved. Then one day out of the blue he asked if I cared to join him for breakfast that morning (I was working a 3rd shift at the time, he was there to get his workers started) and it still sends shivers down my spine when I think about it. (borrowing that from TNT I think). Now it is nine years later since our first "date". We have probably known each other for fifteen years.

I suppose what I am trying to say here is that sometimes you have to look inside the package to determine what the contents are. I wouldn't trade my husband in for a million bucks, but had I not been able to overlook my personal preferences, I wouldn't have the relationship that I have today.

Lori

quote:

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Originally posted by sc3way:
i have been looking at all kind of ads and have found tons that look like great people then those 3 little letters are thrown in: HWP. I'm not thin, but i'm not obese either. My hubby loves my breast size and I'm working on losing weight but i'm comfy with who I am. Why is it that no one bothers to see me for my personality instead of just looking at my measurements.

Thanks ... the wife.

BTW: I'm 38F-35-40 and 5"5

---

[anandjeff2]

I agree here with the HWP and weight in ads. Huby and I do shoot modles as a sideline to out biz to ehlp them build portfolios. We had a discusion on another BB about weigth and such and we checked out the charts.Well the funny thing is when I compare my measuremtns at 21 to the girls and find the ones who are the same they are invariably a size2-4 whereas I was a size 9 and doing the weight hting every chart I compared to I was always about 25 lbs over the "ideal weight" for my frame size. So even there weight does not tell what size you are. There are "ideals" and then there is reality. Not every person fits in the average region and the problem is that if yo dont people just dont get it! Now I am comfortable with my size but noone we meet is..they see my pic then meet us and we never hear from them but I am very upfront about my size! Yegads! So some people dont listen to you either! I get tired of people who like my face but not my body! Well sorry to say they are inseperable!

An

quote:

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Originally posted by JustAskJulie:

I think we all look at people and decide if they are HWP to US (and that even goes with your "new" definition of HWP.

Some will always look at the weight you list with your ad and automatically assume you are overweight or fat without even looking at a picture or meeting you and that is their problem. But don't let those words stop you before you even reply to an ad. Give it a shot and see what happens.

---

[centralbamababy]

This is a subject that hits home for me. I have been called fat most of my life. Even when I wasn't. I went through high school thinking I was huge. I weighed 183lbs and was 5'9-10 with a 38C chest. I was gorgeous, only do I see that now as I look back. I'm at 198lbs, 48D chest now. People still see me as fat. I'm not exactly "fit" but I do work out and eat healthy.

People look at what is on tv and think that its real life. I guess they are so narrow-minded because of the way they were raised or because of fear...or maybe because they are just plain rude.

My husband likes bigger women, and so do I. They look more real.

SOME PEOPLE WILL NEVER LOOK LIKE BARBIE!!

Personally we never reply to ads that say "hot couple" or "HWP". I stay away from them like the plauge. We usually don't reply to ads if they are under 150lbs either. We want people who are more like us.

Either way. I'm comfortable with who I am. If someone else isn't, oh well. There are more people out there. I don't need their hangups. I have plenty of my own to deal with.

~CentralBamaBaby

[Stratecpl]

Just for the record...all Fit people are not assholes..

Connie