Does weight really matter?

[CanadianCouple]

Of all swinger ads placed on the internet, a significant percentage specify they're looking for "height/weight proportional" only. My question is, is a person's girth really determinate of their sexuality? Would you automatically discount them as bed partners if they don't resemble professional bodybuilders? Of the experiences we've had, only one woman would would qualify as petite, and while I enjoyed her company immensly, it was no more pleasurable than with the other, larger ladies. Personality is paramount over all else, in our opinion. My wife is moderately overweight, and when we're turned down, that's often the reason.

Personally for me, I tend to "turn down" the body builders/model type looking couples and/or singles. All that bulk muscles just turns ME off! Again, it's just one of MY preferences. And skinny is fine, but to a certain extent. And then again, it all depends on the personalities and chemistries....*Shrugs shoulders*

I'm alittle over weight, and so far, all the wives we've swung with were smaller than me in "hwp". Hubby prefers a woman with some "meat" on her, but not too much, but JUST right (by HIS choice). Same goes for me with the hubbies/men we seek to play with. But then again, it's all in the personality, how they "carry" themselves, the chemistry gotta be right for all of us, etc.... Which is usually why, we rather just meet with others first, see how it goes in person, then determine our next step, and ask ourselves....Is this a "friend" couple/single? Or maybe "more"? Either way, it's a "win-win" situation!

What may be the "right" couple(s) or single(s) for us, may not be the same for others, and visa-versa. Some people goes for "looks", some for just plain ole SEX! And some like it with a mixture of BOTH! As long as everyone enjoys themselves with each other, that's all that really matters! Right?


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[This message has been edited by CyberMWCouple (edited 05-13-2001).]

[CanadianCouple]

Wife of CyberMWCoulple -
I agree with your assessment, it's the personality and chemistry that count. When meeting a couple socially in person for the first time, we can usually tell fairly quickly if there's a possibility of sex with them in the future. A few of them, we knew it wasn't going to happen even before they sat down, either because it was obvious they'd mis-represented themselves, or they showed up looking as though they hadn't showered in three days. I'd mentioned in an earlier post we've attended meet and greets, and quite often my wife or myself will be immediately attracted to an individual/couple who'll never make the cover of GQ or Vogue. But man oh man, there's just SOMETHING about that person... )

[twobookwyrms]

Well it just depends on the couples you get answering. There are A LOT of people out there that don't care, you just have to keep looking till you find them.

I was very worried about it when we first started looking becuase I am a BBW myself, I know I am beautiful I even do plus sized modeling, but I had seen so many HWP adds that I was really scared we wouldn't find anyone. After the first few trial adds we put up adds with the BBW tag in the first few words and worded the add in a way that showed personality, that we didn't care about hwp and got many more legit responses after that.

I am the same though, We are much less likely to be interested with waif like or small women. I just always feel like I would break them or something, give me a nice size 12 to look at anyday not knockin the small chicks though- I think in the end it all evens out, there is someone out there to think everyone is beautiful. It is just a numbers game... you have to meet enough people to run into one of those that has the same beauty ideals as you.

Steph

[CanadianCouple]

God bless ya, Steph!! <p>Physical dimensions really don't mean anything to us. Just as penis size doesn't matter to my wife, (unless we're talking gargantuan), body size is irrelevant to both of us. We've taken the attitude that if a couple dismisses us because of her weight, it's their loss. We care soley about personality and how well the four of us gel. Speaking for myself, one of the most enjoyable aspects of swinging is simply the physical contact with other women. Whether it's the sex itself, hugging, kissing, or caressing, I just love being with them. And I don't need size 4's for that.

[CanadianCouple]

Although weight doesn't matter to either Dan or I, we do realize it does to others. I was really worried about it at first, but have since come to the frame of mind that if someone doesn't want to be with me because of my size, it's fine. After all it's their loss, not mine.

Wife of CanadianCouple

I have had small women before. I enjoyed our play with them a great deal, but there was always the worry that I might snap her in two. I prefer a larger woman, although I generally do not care for a woman that is too big.

Personality makes up for a lot, but some of us just have a bias that we have grown up with, and have a difficult time getting around. Cheers to all the differences that we have in the world! Without them, everyone would be, act, look the same and what fun would that be?

Husband of CyberMWCouple

Originally posted by CanadianCouple:
Although weight doesn't matter to either Dan or I, we do realize it does to others. I was really worried about it at first, but have since come to the frame of mind that if someone doesn't want to be with me because of my size, it's fine. After all it's their loss, not mine.

Wife of CanadianCouple

That's right! *Agreeing nod grinnin'*

But I also realize, that it also happens the other way around for the body builders/models types couple/individuals as well....Again, it cums back to "making our own choices". As long as everyone enjoys themselves and have FUN!

And thanks for your thoughtful email, glad to see both of you posting here on the Message Board!


Wife of CyberMWCouple

[Stratecpl]

I think too, that many people misread pride in accomplishment as being self centered or conceited?? Maybe??? That's why hardbodies get passed over alot because of their looks too. I've wondered about that. Just for the record..two years and roughly 80 some odd pounds ago I was a BBW too.
Another thing Ron pointed out to me is that many men are intimidated by women with muscle. It's one of those things that bothers the male ego. Like someone said about anyone passing up a BBW, It being their loss..same holds true for anybody passing up a female bodybuilder OR a male bodybuilder if that be the case. True with their physical strength and conditioning they could kick butt..but ALSO what people fail to recognize is with all that physical conditioning, stamina, and all those high powered vitamins they are on they can kick butt in the bedroom in a way that won't leave one battered and bruised but leave them smiling and suffering from a very happy, fullfilled case of exaustion! haha. Ron is a good example..he is 51 years old and since he's been bodybuilding he can cum and be bounced back hard and ready again before the woman gets her second wind sometimes! haha.. He couldn't do that 2 years ago before we started weight training. It's true..it's true!..LOL

[MiCpl]

Personally.. I don't have a preference on weight for guys or girls.. but hubby tends to prefer women n the small to medium range.

However, I don't really enjoy being with the bodybuilder types .. their bodies are just too hard for me. However a guy who is in shape but not over the border into "body builder" land is quite hot to me.

Wife of MiCpl

[CanadianCouple]

Pride and accomplishment are fine, we have no qualms with that. Who would? But many ads and attitudes go far beyond that.

Take a moment and read closely what others are looking for in partners. And specifically what they're NOT looking for. Many times, "fat" and "dirty" are subtly linked together, insinuating they go hand in hand. One poster here even had the audacity to state all overweight women smell bad. We all have pride in various accomplishments in life, including attaining a certain level of physical fitness, but we take pains not to feel elevated above others who haven't. There's enough class warfare in life without carrying it over into this lifestyle.

It's fine if one isn't attracted to extra weight, but we've detected a distinct elitism in several ads and personal meetings. Sad, since life is so short as it is.

Husband of CanadianCouple

[CanadianCouple]

Straightcouple --

Regarding muscled women. It all depends on the level of developement. I've been bodybuilding for around 20 years myself, and in that time I've seen women's fitness go from toned to steroid-pumped she-males. I'm not in the least bi, and it's hard to get turned on by striated pecs and 17 inch biceps. Any more than a straight woman would be excited by a man with breasts and wearing a skirt.

Not many people find gender bending appealing.

Husband of CanadianCouple

[This message has been edited by CanadianCouple (edited 05-21-2001).]

[This message has been edited by CanadianCouple (edited 05-21-2001).]

[Stratecpl]

Each to their own I guess... it takes a very special type of man that can accept and is appreciative of a muscular female. Not many of those type men in exsistance. I don't think muscularity in a female is "gender bending" sex change surgery..yep that would be gender bending, but taking what all women have under their skin and developing it to it's full potential is not gender bending I don't think. I Agree that the steroid pumped ones are a bit too much. Don't go that route myself..but sure, if the good lord lets me develop 17 inch arms then I will be ecstatic!

Times are changing though...recently a female bodybuilder appeared in Playboy..she broke the steriotype of the Barbie centerfolds that have appeared month after month for nearly 50 years. Ya know it's interesting..her issue was the number one selling issue in the last decade... since her issue came out..memberships in gyms by WOMEN signing up for weight training has gone WAYYY up..interesting...exercise videos for weight training for women..sells have gone wayyy up...interesting. Many of them are doing this with the blessing and encouragement of their husbands or boyfriends too. Maybe I was wrong..maybe there are more of these special men out there than I though. Each to their own...but gee... isn't saying a muscular women is unattractive the same and just as bad as the guy on here who said fat women smell??

[CanadianCouple]

Straightcouple --
You said ". Each to their own...but gee... isn't saying a muscular women is unattractive the same and just as bad as the guy on here who said fat women smell??"

First of all, I apologize for the crude cutting and pasting of your quote, I don't know how to isolate in bold a quotation from another post.

Let me address that last point you made first. Frankly, it's absurd to compare the desirability of an extremely muscular woman to one's assertion that overweight means dirty and foul. A really poor analogy, in my opinion. It goes far beyond questioning one's attraction to overweight women (or men), but states flat out that one's hygiene is tied directly to what their bathroom scales read. If I'm missing something, please enlighten me.

Second, I never said women's muscularity in and of itself was a turnoff. I used the phrase steroid-pumped she males. There's a big difference, just look at the cover of muscle magazines the past several years. Some of these gals today would've given Arnold in his hayday a run for his money, and are a far cry from being considered merely "muscular".

Straightcouple, in addition to us being involved in the swinging lifestyle for the past two years, we've been active nudists since 1987. We were members of a nudist camp in western Massachusetts for three years, and another camp in New Hampshire for another 11. I've personally seen, by my estimation, at least two thousand nude women, up close and personal. Name the body type, we've seen it countless times. And I've seen plenty of muscular women, aerobics instructors, gymnasts, and other women devoted to the physical fitness culture. All beautiful, all gorgeous flesh and blood examples of the female anatomy. But they're a world apart from women who are awash in pill-induced testosterone, and these are the individuals to whom I was referring.

Husband of CanadianCouple

[LIZA]

Where are you finding all these "steroid-pumped she-males"??

I must not be going to the right places, I cannot remember ever seeing ONE female in swinging who I would describe that way