Does weight really matter?

[K2]

Sorry, made a typo on the last post.

That website with the girl that lost the weight was http://www.cleopatras.biz and not .com just wanted to make sure that my post was correct.

By the way, Genie is the one who lost the weight.

[PA_RACERS]

I am so totally offended when it was said that heavy people aren't attractive. I cetainly don't have trouble attracting couples of any size. I am 5'2" and 180 pounds. I am round and I don't have a problem with it. My husband and I attend on premises clubs and I get my fair share of the attention. We have never left a club with out meeting another couple. Size only matters to someone who is superficial. Being nice and freindly is much more appealling than a flat stomach anyday.

[Flori_DAMAN]

There are certainly people that will not swing with me because they find me physically unattractive. Many find me handsome though. It is strictly a matter of taste. I would not feel in the least bit offended if someone found me unattractive though. I would never have sex with someone that I find unattractive. There just has to be some chemistry. For some it is weight, or some it is age, for some it is ethnicity. No need to be offended though in my opinion.
There are many people that are beautiful from within but I would never have sex with them. Does that make me a shallow person?

[ciscosv]

This is our second post and we must say that my wife and I are two different builds. I am 5'6 135 and she is 5'4 and 160. We don't care if any couple is over/under weight because the
that does not define how person is mentally and socially. Besides that, it is great to have a
variety of couples right? We also don't have any hang ups on the topic of age which seems that alot of swingers do. Either way we are all descrimited in one way or another. If it's not weight, it is age.

Who cares? We don't!

[CanadianCouple]

quote:

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Originally posted by PA_RACERS:
I am so totally offended when it was said that heavy people aren't attractive. I cetainly don't have trouble attracting couples of any size. I am 5'2" and 180 pounds. I am round and I don't have a problem with it. My husband and I attend on premises clubs and I get my fair share of the attention. We have never left a club with out meeting another couple. Size only matters to someone who is superficial. Being nice and freindly is much more appealling than a flat stomach anyday.

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PA, we like your attitude. In fact, I (Dan) can tell you that a woman's positive self image and confidence in herself is a big turn-on for me, much more so than physical measurements.

It DOES bother me to read posts in here from people advising others to lose weight in order to attract more potential partners in the lifestyle. Going on a diet soley to please strangers is one of the worst reasons for doing so I can imagine.

Dan

[anandjeff2]

I get tired of people obsessing about weight! I have been told by a lot of people I am attractive..granted I am not slim I am about a size 16..but if I tell people my weight they fall over..at that size I weigh in at over 200 lbs..I carry a lot of muscle and bone so my weight is not the reg for my height and size..grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even whem I was thin I was at the top of the sliding scale! So when people go on and on about weight it annoys me..I do not even consider weigth when I meet people..and I usually wont meet with peple untill I know them pretty well by conversation..then a lot of times looks to me are such a different thing... I'll say ti again I am a personality person..and well a brain person cant stand those stupid ones!!

An

[K2]

Hey, I am 6'2" and weight 295#. I have been "big" all my life. It was a blessing in sports when I was active and could have my way with most others in competition, but now at 52 it isn't fun anymore.

I have yet to meet an overweight person like myself who doesn't want to lose weight. You can be happy, but it doesn't mean that you wouldn't like to lose weight.

It seems whenever I meet someone else who is carrying a few extra pounds we inevitably wind up talking about dropping some weight.

The truth is people with normal body weight have more options in the swinger's world. Fat people have just as much sexual pleasure, but the pool to pick from is generally limited. No matter how we curse people for being narrow-minded about the way others look it won't change a damn thing.

Personaly I'm offended by people who consider someone like me and my wife 'shallow' just because we don't want to swing with over weight people.

This is just like bi-couples who say that straight couples must have a problem if they don't like bi-males at a club or the like.

Its not about tolerance, its about preferances. I find fat women sexualy unappealing. I'm not talking a few extra pounds but fat. It grosses me out, I don't want to see them naked, I don't care how good they are in bed, I'd rather go without. Thats the way I am, and it doesn't matter if its cultural, genetic, or some other quirk of development, I just don't like it.

Does this make me a mean intollerant jerk? No it just means I don't want to have sex with fat women.

The statement above and the truthful way it was expressed without slamming anyone is aboslutely the core of the whole issue.

People who are overweight can't be pissed at people who don't want them because they are fat.

I was with a fat girl once and I had to push her in all sorts of contortions just to get my medium sized you know what in. The whole experience was bad for me. I did it because I liked her as a person and thought I could overcome her weight. Wrong...

[anandjeff2]

Well just to be curious..what do most people who don't ant to consider swinging with an overweight person consider too far? Hey I would love to lose weight and am working on it..diets dont work for me I have to work it off..so What is fat to different people??

AN

I know that one of our concerns, being newbies, was that few people would respond to us because of our weight. I (Nate) am 6' 4" and weigh 290# (down 40# from a year ago). Jen is 5' 8" and around 240#. However, looking at us, few people can guess our actual weights. We have been blessed with frames that carry our weight rather well. In fact, according to all those height/weight charts out there, my ideal weight is between 190#-210#. Honestly, I think I would look like a skeleton anywhere in that range.

We have found that, so far anyway, people tend not to treat us solely on "face value." We have joined a few lifestyle sites, posted a few pics (G rated, but that's another topic ) and have been pleasantly suprised with the response we have gotten.

Speaking for myself, there is definitely an initial attraction to fit, tanned, "beautiful" people. However, there is so much more than physicality that makes someone "sexy" to me. Sexy is so much more an attitude: how you carry yourself, how you express yourself, how you flirt, how you caress. One of our "goals" in this lifestyle is to make some good, close, like-minded friends. With this in mind, looks fall to pretty low on the check-list.

I have "suffered" from a rather poor self-image for most of my life. But I think much of that came from allowing other people's opinons and judgements too much influence in my life. I have recently resurrected my quest to get myself in shape, but my goals in doing so are for reasons that go quite a bit beyond just looks. Yes, looks are a part of it, but I consider it more of a side-affect. I will be turning 30 this summer, and while that is still quite young, I am starting to think about the things that I didn't do (or rather, didn't allow myself to do) in my teens and 20s because I wasn't in good enough physical condition. I would love to try rock climbing, but I lack the upper body strength to do that effectively; I would love to do more cross-country cycling, but I lack the cardio-vascular endurance to do that well. And (as if that's not enough), Jen and I are planning on starting a family sometime in our 30s... I want to be able to keep up with the kids!!!!

Just my thoughts.

Nate

[ 05-15-2002, 02:59 AM: Message edited by: NateNJen ]

[PA_RACERS]

You know I would also like to know what people consider to fat. I see ads that say "no heavies" or "no overweight". Just what do people think that is? I am not a small lady but I truly don't consider myself a "heavy" or an obese person. I wear a size 16 and I am currently lossing weight. When I think heavy or obese I think or people who are pushing 300# or more. I mean the average womenin the united states is between a size 12 to 14.

[anandjeff2]

Hi PA_RACERS,

I myself wonder that a lot we have had people introdce themselves online and then when they read our profile say they aren't interested because of my size!! UGH! Well I sometimes think about posting one of my pics and let people get a look at what thye are missing...LOL..I did a photo session once for the place I worked and a few of my online buddies got the hots..it was kinda funny! However it sounds liek some people are thinking a size 16 is obese and on some people yesit is..but when I got married I was a thin size 9 and I weghed almost 150# so no one who sees my wedding pics believes first of all that I was that size..I see a lot of modles who post their measurements..they line up with what mine were at those yet they are size 2&4's?? Go figure!LOL..Hey all I can say is I am ok with my size who isnt heavy that wants to be thinner but I can live with it..makes me wonder with the size obsessed people how thye will end up in their later eyars..you know what they say..be careful what you say..

An

[K2]

I think the only thing that really offends me is when someone say's "No Fatties" in their ad.

To me that is just downright mean.

[sccple29073]

Yes i think weight does matter...but so does a million other things. if the person sucks in bed...personality...facial features...if both the males and females are interested in the others partner. Just because you may be overweight doesn't mean no one will be interested and just because you are not overweight doesn't mean everyone will want you. It's all a matter of perference and what turns you on.

i agree with K-2..Everyone has and is entitled to their own opinion. I just do not think anyone had to be rude, in their search.