Does weight really matter?

[CanadianCouple]

Liza --

In Stratecouple's 11:31 AM post from today, they said "Another thing Ron pointed out to me is that many men are intimidated by women with muscle."

Reading the subsquent posts between us should fill things in for you.

Husband of CanadianCouple

[Stratecpl]

CanadianCouple,

First of all let me explain a couple of things. We ARE NOT STEROID-PUMPED. NEVER HAVE BEEN, NEVER WILL BE. I want this to be understood loud and clear.

The prejudice against women OR men who are muscular is great, make no mistake of that fact. We are very decent, fun-loving people. We are not freaks and we do not like anyone insinuating this. We have encountered some truly rude people who profess to be bodybuilders, too. I guess there's rude folks everywhere, hey?

As I stated earlier, we only work out to improve our own lives. Period. If others want to live their lives in a vastly different manner, then so be it. We totally agree that there are a lot of people out there who make derogatory remarks concerning BBW's too. WE ARE NOT THOSE PEOPLE. We are some of the ones who actually have consciences....

If there were some steroid-pumped person out there we'd be the first to reject him or her, for our own reasons. If you've been a nudist and a swinger for a long time, then I'm sure you are comfortable with yourselves. But so are we.

Let's end this on friendly terms, hey?

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[Stratecpl]

Canadiancouple....this is wife of Stratecpl again.. Just one quick question..I was curious...When LIZA asked you where you were finding all these steroid pumped she-males? I noticed in your response to her, you specifically singled out the part of my prior post that mentioned many men being intimidated by women with muscle... It struck me as interesting that you singled out that particular part of my post when it really had nothing to do with the main point of the argument..i.e. steroid women vs. non steroid muscular women as far as attractiveness goes and it had nothing to do with LIZA's question either? Can we say..BINGO!?

[CanadianCouple]

Stratecpl--

Don't cash in the chips just yet. I quoted that part of your post to Liza to explian to her how the issue of women's muscularity got started. From there, you made the comparison of a man's repulsion of extreme developement and another's assertion fat means dirty.

Don't clear that card yet, they're still calling numbers.

Work beckons, have a good one.

Husband of CanadianCouple

[CanadianCouple]

Ron --

Somewhere in one of my posts I mentioned the fact I've been lifting regularly for 20 years or so. I'm no stranger to the pursuit of the ultimate physique, why would I denegrate anyone who is? My beef was centered on the fact that with some people it goes straight to their heads, and it shows with the derogatory nature of their ads. Overweight people don't like to be called "fatties" anymore than serious bodybuilders being referred to as freaks of nature.

No, not everyone is meant for everyone else, that's obvious. I'd just like to see some of the derision in ads gone.

I never insinuiated you two were "pumped" with steriods, but we both know them when we see them, right Ron? THOSE are the ones I'm referring to.

Friendly terms? Never anything but, Ron.

Husband of CanadianCouple

[Stratecpl]

CanadianCouple,

Yes, you're right concerning the derision that's in so many ads. We've read tons of them ourselves and we agree that they are hurtful and downright insulting to anyone who reads them. In this lifestyle there's no room for hurt. We are all of fairly like minds here, and we all seek the advice of others who might have "been there, done that" which we haven't yet....

It's like telling your children something that you don't want them to do, because your experience might keep them from making those same mistakes that you made. Naturally, they won't listen to you, but you tried....

Racial prejudice is another thing that is filled with hate and callous remarks. There's just no place for that anywhere. We have friends who are of different races and nationalities, and we have found that everyone has much to offer... IF anyone will just pay attention.

Too few people are really unbiased, or liberated, if you will. They so-often tend to cling to old adages and old teachings that were the "norm" at one time, but today are outdated. You are right, the caste system seems to still be alive and well in all too many walks of life.

The reference I made to that party is an example. There were every type human being you could imagine there, from tall and lanky to short and BBW.... and each and every one of them were of bright personalities, great dispositions, AND no one had this "body odor" that some person brought up on another post somewhere!! That was totally a callous remark. But we enjoyed our visit and we'll return again. What I'm saying is that being of open minds is great. Anyone who disliked this or that would have been unhappy, but we weren't. Everyone fit right in just like a glove.

Anyhow, my apologies to all who I might have offended. May you all enjoy a great upcoming fling!!

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

[Stratecpl]

CanadianCouple... Oh I'm not ready to cash in the chips yet..I'm still intriqued by your picking that particular part of my post to quote. You explained your reason..however any other quote from my post would have answered LIZA just as well Actually I'm ready to move this conversation along..to expand it some...Like maybe discuss your thoughts on Women's equality, women who are aggressive sexually, equal pay, independant women vs. barefoot and pregnant.. haha... I just can't help feel that the word "Intimidated" in that post really affected you some. See, since I do lift, I've heard/seen this reaction before and you come across very much the same as other men I've encountered who were men who felt that women lifting weights was an Invasion of their Territory..."Not a Woman's Place" "Ain't Right" "Oughta be Home, where she belongs" that sort of thing..these are actual quotes I've heard by the way.. Have a good day.

[JustAskJulie]

First of all, I apologize for the crude cutting and pasting of your quote, I don't know how to isolate in bold a quotation from another post.
[/B]

Thought I would butt in for sec just to answer this.. above each post there is a series of buttons.. the last one on the right with the little arrow is the one you want to click.

When you click it, it will bring up the reply screen and in the reply box you will see that the post you are copying is already in your reply box. If you only want to quote part of it (which I would suggest) just delete the portion(s) you don't want.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[CanadianCouple]

I think that above all else we need to remember to show respect to others. I'm sure that everyone whether BBW, skinny, buff or a wet noodle, we all have feeling and no one deserves to have them hurt. Just say it isn't your thing and leave it at that.
I'm one of the BBW, and I get p----- off at being labelled. She big so therefore she must eat non stop. NOY TRUE!! She's big so therefore she must smell. AGAIN NOT TRUE!!!
I'd love for the person that made these two comments to stand in line behind some of the same people I have. After all whether big, small or whatever--- ANYONE OF THESE CAN SMELL.
Well enough ranting. Hope all have a great day.

Wife of CanadianCouple

[This message has been edited by CanadianCouple (edited 05-22-2001).]

[CanadianCouple]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by JustAskJulie:
[B] Thought I would butt in for sec just to answer this

And glad you did! Hope this works.

[CanadianCouple]

Wife of stratecpl--

Hiya.

Liza had asked where she would find these "she males" I referred to. I took her question to be facetious, but if she was indeed serious, I'd suggest she place an ad specifying what she's looking for.

You asked me my opinions on a few things. Here goes --

"Women's equality?" All for it.

"Sexually aggressive women?" The answer to my prayers.

"Equal pay?" Yes, for equal work.

"Independent vs. barefoot and preggars?" Puhleeze, I had the big 'V' done in '96. I don't even want our hampster pregnant.

Seriously, you're hung up a bit on the word 'intimidated'. For me not being sexually attracted to women who resemble men on WWF, doesn't mean I'm intimidated, it just means I don't go for giagantic muscles on women. Just too masculine in my eyes.

Remember my post about the nudist women athletes I've seen? They didn't get that way popping beer can tops, they hoisted more than their share of iron to get in that condition. And yes, I'm ALL for women lifting, and any other form of excercise. They look wonderful to me, as long as they're still recognizable AS women from the neck down. Please don't misinterpret what I've been saying all along on this topic -- a fit body is indeed sexy in itself, but one doesn't necessarily need to be that way to be sexy.

One other thing you said I wanted to address. You stated (I'm paraphrasing) that since you and hubby were 'hardbodies' so to speak, you found some others weren't attracted to you. I'd suggest it isn't a matter of lack of attraction on their part ( who wouldn't want to have sex with a hardbody), but rather a realization on their part that it's unlikely there'd be an attraction on YOUR end if they aren't similar in build. Again, I'm not singling you two out, but the vast majority of "model" types do think that way.

In our experience, that is.

Husband of CanadianCouple.

[Stratecpl]

Canadiancouple....I think you misunderstood my point...It's not about other couples not being attracted to us because we are fit for whatever their reason may be. I still believe in each to their own there...

It's about others automatically assuming that ALL people who are fit are conceited and have a better than thou attitude Not ALL fit people are like that..I believe thats where all this started in this thread.

I'm not hung up on the word intimidated really, although I do enjoy getting under the skin of men who ARE bothered by the word ... ...BUT.. you know as well as I do there ARE men who ARE intimidated by muscular women. It's a fragile male ego thing obviously. And it's a fact..they do exsist.

And on the subject of labeling people that your wife brought up in her post, she sounds like a very savvy woman, btw....The words Fattie or heavies or whatever are cruel labels....agreed??? So is "she-male" I find that very derogatory as well.

[CanadianCouple]

I used that word to illustrate someone who seems hellbent on adopting the physical characteristics of the opposite gender. If that word offends you, none was intended. But again, it's unrelated to using perjurative terms to describe someone's weight. Be honest with yourself, if a man took hormone shots to develop breasts (NOT pecs), wouldn't you think that person is at the least a bit odd? And perhaps crack a few jokes with your friends? Most of us would. But if overly developed female physiques were common in the lifestyle, I certainly wouldn't use the term 'she-male' while listing what weren't not looking for in others, in our ad. Remember, it's the ads I'm talking about, and the terminology used. When someone uses "fatties" and "uglies" in warding off unwanted replies, believe me it tells me volumes about that couple. I've even seen ads stating they're looking for couples above a certain income level. Good Lord, we're not looking for life mates here, but bed partners.

If extra weight is a turnoff for you, that's fine. But we've scanned so many ads from slim/athletic couples that follow that pattern, it's hard to ignore. Sure, being a typical male I have a mental vision of my perfect swing partner. Same with my wife, but we both realize that to get the maximum out of this lifestyle, we both have to be flexable to a certain degree. We'd just like to see a bit more of that from some others.

Yes, my wife is a very savvy woman, thanks. She has a great deal to share regarding swinging issues, but was initially quite shy about posting here. I encouraged her to, without being too pushy, since I believe there should be as much imput from women as possible. The weight issue is a prominent one with her, for personal reasons. Overweight women in general are not treated the same in society as others. I'm sure since losing the 80 pounds you've noticed it yourself.

Husband of CanadianCouple.

[JustAskJulie]

[quote]Originally posted by CanadianCouple:
[b]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie:
Thought I would butt in for sec just to answer this

And glad you did! Hope this works.

Oops you did the same thing I did earlier. Makes sure you leave in the tags at the end for [/B and [/Quote
as well as the similiar tags at the beginning.. that will ensure that the quote is bolded and listed as a quote.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[CanadianCouple]

[/B]that will ensure that the quote is bolded and listed as a quote.[/QUOTE]

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[/B][/QUOTE]

Dammit.

[This message has been edited by CanadianCouple (edited 05-23-2001).]