body image issues

[Girl]

I haven't read all of the threads so I don't know if something like this has been addressed but here goes!

Over the last year I have lost a significant amount of weight and it has affected my enjoyment of sex in a very positive way which is awesome - my husband is thrilled also. We are both very into bringing others into our sex life and my new body has made me discover how uninhibited I am.... with my clothes on. Here is where my problem comes in. I am very nervous about being naked in front of someone other than my husband. With my clothes on I think I look good (ok, average, cute) but naked, the weight loss has left me flabby . How do I proceed when it comes to others? What should I expect? Should I be nervous that when it comes to taking off my clothes people are going to be running scared? We have never done this before and I am afraid of peoples reactions. Am I just overthinking things?

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Girl

I haven't read all of the threads so I don't know if something like this has been addressed but here goes!

Over the last year I have lost a significant amount of weight and it has affected my enjoyment of sex in a very positive way which is awesome - my husband is thrilled also. We are both very into bringing others into our sex life and my new body has made me discover how uninhibited I am.... with my clothes on. Here is where my problem comes in. I am very nervous about being naked in front of someone other than my husband. With my clothes on I think I look good (ok, average, cute) but naked, the weight loss has left me flabby . How do I proceed when it comes to others? What should I expect? Should I be nervous that when it comes to taking off my clothes people are going to be running scared? We have never done this before and I am afraid of peoples reactions. Am I just overthinking things?

I can relate to you very much. Since May 06 until now I have gone from a 28W to a size 12, so yes I know what you mean...stretch marks and loose skin! Yep, I feel ya. And yes, there are times when I wonder what people think about me....trust me girl, other people are not looking at these things. You need to take pride in your accomplishment and strut your stuff!!! Confidence is a turn on, as long as you know that you are sexy and you show that confidence you will be alright!! Shelly

[Girl]

Shelly, thanks... I guess I just want to know, get reassurance that it isn't as important to others as I percieve it to be. I definately think I am working the confidence and the appeal, I am just working with years of insecurities to get past. I recognize that others have issues and imperfections also and it helps to hear from others that those imperfections are not as important as they may be percieved to be.

Heather

[lovinher]

Confidence is at least half the attraction for me.

[Girl]

Lovinher... that is exactly what I think I was wanting to hear! Thanks.

[bethncole]

Confedence and sexual chemistry is what most people are attracted too. None of us are perfect. If people would want to have sex with perfect objects - everybody would be fucking blowup dolls. But people are attracted to people.

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by lovinher

Confidence is at least half the attraction for me.

ditto!

Can't agree more here!

[Cpl2share]

Mrs. Cpl was in the same situation as you. Throw in the stretch marks from two very large children, and severe scarring from surgery, and she barely let ME see her nekkid. We went to our first full foray into the lifestyle and her position was that she would keep her clothes on until the lights went out. All of the other women (4 couples total) were slimmer than her, but here is the clincher: She was the "most wanted" woman there. We have since had other issues which prevent us from participating in the lifestyle (at least for now) but the short story is: NO ONE thought it was gross. She ended up wandering around completely nekkid and being very sought after by both men and women. We ended up leaving the party first, but most of the people at the party have since contacted us wanting to get back together for more play. Her self esteme did skyrocket after that (part of my motivation in the first place) and we continue to be a loving couple.

[MrsPandMe]

Cpl2 has hit on something very important here. MrsP and I both have our image issues. I'm self conscious because I have a very hairy chest, she's self conscious because she's got a little extra padding.

We found neither to be an issue at all, and in fact the acceptance and downright desire of other people to be with us has done wonders for our confidence!

Trust me, body image is a lot less important then attitude and confidence. If can relax and have fun, you have nothing to worry about!

Mr. P

[ShellyM]

MMMMM, I LOVE a man who has hair on his chest lol!!
No need for you to be self conscious about that with me Sir.
Shelly

[md70mtl]

Wonderful responses.. jealousy has become less of an issue now, but body self-consciouness has gone to number one in concerns about us trying ethical nonmonogamy.. good to hear people of all shapes and sizes are able to play!

[apraskov]

Just wanted to say that I wouldn't worry about the flabby skin. With proper diet (sufficient intake to rebuild the muscles), weight exercises (to gain back some of the lean body mass you probably lost) and time (could be 1 to 2 years) your skin will shrink back.

How you are perceived by others is not based so much on looks (well, shallow people excluded), it is your conscious and subconscious projection of how you feel about yourself and at the very least you should feel proud of what you have accomplished.

Originally Posted by Girl

I haven't read all of the threads so I don't know if something like this has been addressed but here goes!

Over the last year I have lost a significant amount of weight and it has affected my enjoyment of sex in a very positive way which is awesome - my husband is thrilled also. We are both very into bringing others into our sex life and my new body has made me discover how uninhibited I am.... with my clothes on. Here is where my problem comes in. I am very nervous about being naked in front of someone other than my husband. With my clothes on I think I look good (ok, average, cute) but naked, the weight loss has left me flabby . How do I proceed when it comes to others? What should I expect? Should I be nervous that when it comes to taking off my clothes people are going to be running scared? We have never done this before and I am afraid of peoples reactions. Am I just overthinking things?

[likeitalot04]

In Real Estate it is LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.

In human relations and sex it is ATTITUDE, ATTITUDE, ATTITUDE!

Be fun, outgoing and enthusiastic...this will trump all of your concerns about your looks. Most everyone would take an average or below average looking person over a specimen type with a crappy, self-righteous attitude.

Go and have a good time...your husband certainly sees through your flabbiness and so will your new friends IF you have the proper attitude. Think about all the right things, don't concentrate on the negatives...if you don't the negatives will win every time.

....and continually work on your body so it will serve you better for a long, long time.