Large people and swinging

[Flori_DAMAN]

I have heard that guys are attracted to types that look somewhat like their mothers. This seems to be somewhat statistically proven. My mom weighed 95. Maybe that is the problem. When I said she was HUGE , I as talking over 300, at 5'3 or so.

Pleasantly plump wouln't be a problem at all.

John.

[babydragon]

It's actually quite amazing how when it comes down to it, that if your with the right couple you dont notice your weight. as for the size of your master, who cares?? as long as you know how to satifiy all concerned dont stress about it.

[KSUCouple]

I am so relieved to see that others have these concerns. This is one of the biggest (ha pardon the pun) reasons we haven't jumped into the scene sooner.

I am 30, he is 32. All my life I was the "beautiful" girl.......I was a model as a child and in my college days, and just like River mentioned was one of those "full of themself" types who was totally accustomed to turning heads.

Well, two children later, I definitely need to lose weight. I guess in the grand sceme of things I am just average...I now wear a 12 which to me is just huge (for myself, not necessarily for others.) Ironically, I still "turn heads" when we go out (just a couple of weeks ago this guy at our favorite bar kept telling me I look just like Catherine Zeta Jones) but I don't feel the same. It is tough to go from being so confident to feeling inferior but I just worry that if we went to a party that people wouldn't be attracted to me. Maybe this is the payback for being full of myself when I was a bitchy sorority girl!!!! It's funny, because a little extra weight on a guy doesn't make a difference but on a woman.....

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by KSUCouple
I am so relieved to see that others have these concerns. This is one of the biggest (ha pardon the pun) reasons we haven't jumped into the scene sooner.

I am 30, he is 32. All my life I was the "beautiful" girl.......I was a model as a child and in my college days, and just like River mentioned was one of those "full of themself" types who was totally accustomed to turning heads.

Well, two children later, I definitely need to lose weight. I guess in the grand sceme of things I am just average...I now wear a 12 which to me is just huge (for myself, not necessarily for others.) Ironically, I still "turn heads" when we go out (just a couple of weeks ago this guy at our favorite bar kept telling me I look just like Catherine Zeta Jones) but I don't feel the same. It is tough to go from being so confident to feeling inferior but I just worry that if we went to a party that people wouldn't be attracted to me. Maybe this is the payback for being full of myself when I was a bitchy sorority girl!!!! It's funny, because a little extra weight on a guy doesn't make a difference but on a woman.....

A little extra weight on a guy does make a difference. Some like it but a lot totally dislike it. My closest friend is a female that is a bit overweight, maybe your size, but she never has a problem finding a guy that will give her the time of day. Many guys love heavier women.

On the hair issue with men, I dont have much but I would never consider getting a hair translplant. Some gals like bald too.

One thing that is obvious to anyone that swings is that it is a lifestyle enjoyed by a true cross section of representation of every weight, age, and social status.

John.

[KSUCouple]

I disagree. I think that there is a definite difference between what most men think of as a little overweight for a woman versus what women think of as a little overweight for a man.

It seems to me that (maybe not in the swinging scene but in the general population) a guy can be 15 pounds over his ideal, maybe have a little bit of a belly, and women don't think twice about it. If a guy is a big eater, it is seen as manly, not piggish. If a woman is a hearty eater, even if she is thin (I was one of those obnoxious girls who could eat like a sumo wrestler and still slip into those size 6 jeans in my younger days) she is frequently looked upon with disdain. A woman might have a beautiful face, with a nice set of breasts and a generally proportioned figure, but if she has that little roll around her waist (sometimes an inescapable byproduct of childbearing no matter HOW thin you are) or if she has a butt she's a turnoff.

My husband is every bit as overweight as I am.....probably more so. But he doesn't come off that way because he is a big guy. He is 5'10-5'11, probably 220 lbs. But he is very muscular and big-boned, and the only place you notice anything at all is his tummy. He is very attractive, and women are ALWAYS noticing him. I don't think for one second that he would have any trouble getting approached in a swinging setting.

[Big Lou]

hi all, I apologize for the length of time for this reply, my partner and I broke up just prior to visiting my first swing party. She had been to several before and it was to be my 1st. I was and still am looking forward to going, but the party i wish to attend is couples only. the main reason I wish to attend this party is that they especially cater the bbw crowd and big guys like me are welcome too. As soon as I find a compatable partner I'll update you all on my experience. If any of you live in the (909) area code and wish to accompany me, let me know!

[kycpl4bifem]

We all have our own insecurities about ourselves. Are we pretty enough, are we young enough, are we experianced enough, and they seem to go on forever. The real key to sucessful swinging is learning to be comfortable in your own skin. The people we have met through swinging have been some of the most accepting tolerent people we know. Don't ever think that there will be no one to share experiances with. Everyone is looking for something different and I am sure you will be someones ideal date. Just try to relax and be yourself. The surest way not to find anyone to swing with is to hide in the corner and never speak to anyone for fear of rejection. You will be rejected everyone is from time to time but if you keep looking you will find others who appreciate you and are thankful for the opertunity to share an intimate moment with you. Good luck and Happy swinging.

[KSUCouple]

Well thank you.....I am sure we would get along beautifully!!!!! Maybe I am projecting too much of my own personal feelings into my interpretation of this issue. Honestly, while I have to admit I prefer a guy who is traditionally good-looking, a reasonable amount of extra weight on a guy doesn't bother me. But I think I am a lot pickier about women. I know that an overweight woman would be a turnoff to me.....kind of ironic because for every person that tells me I am nuts and I am not overweight at all, there is a person who definitely thinks I need to hit the gym and sew my mouth shut. Seems to me that the general consensus on the board is that it is just as important for a man to be fit as for a woman, but that there is someone for everyone. I am actually a little freaked out by my own feelings though....I fear that if a woman built exactly like me approached me I would be turned off!!!! Is that not totally psycho? And yet I still think that I am attractive to others. Weird. Maybe I am just so full of self-disgust right now that I turn myself off. :evil:

[Uneed_Love]

Originally posted by Harold_N_Ann
Also, I have a small penis (4.5") and I wonder if any woman would want me due to that.

How would we be accepted?

Hello,

Don't worry about the size of your penis. You are wondering if a woman would want You due to that ? Just look by your side. You are happily married with a woman who was enough motivated and loving You to not worry about the size of your penis.

The husband of my lover (they are seperated now) has a bigger penis than mine but doesn't give her any orgasms while she is occuring multiple orgasms with me. Why ? Is this about the size ? Surely not but I am caring about her while he was always belittled her. I am caring about her pleasure before mine and this I why I do my best to keep "my tool at work" as long as i can and as i generally can't go longer than 50 minutes or 1 hour at "hard work" I give her pleasure with my tongue and my fingers.

According to me, it's not the size which matters most but the way you are, the way you talk, the way you look at her, the way you care at her own pleasure, the way you feel her and the way you use your "tool" to give her pleasure and give her some good orgasms. Before swinging there is a socialisation part where people learn to know you better... not only how You look but also who you are. This is in fact the purpose of this board : to learn from each others. There are lots of different people on the world, small people, tall people, smart people, dislikable people. Every shoe can fit a foot

Just be a nice and kind person and forget Your complex because we all have some.

For years I was complexed and found my penis not big enough (mine is 6.8"), I was having complex about my size (I am just average 1,75 meter for 70 kilos), I am not bald (black hair) or ugly but I disliked myself and had a very poor self estim.

I have done very good studies (only 5% of the french population could reach this level of schoolarship) but I have had lots of complexes about my inteligence also. I can draw some good copy of the Great Masters such as Leonardo da Vinci, Rembrandt, Philippe de Champaigne, David, Boucher but for more than 40 years of my life I was unable to show my work ! Its only recently I could overtake part of those self bad feelings towards me thanks to the love of a woman.

Please trust me on this : DO NOT RUIN YOUR LIFE WITH ANY COMPLEX. It really does not worth it !!!

Have Fun and Take Care

JC

[joseph3d]

Harold and Ann,

As others have said, your fears are natural. We all worry about being accepted.

However, while we are proportionate weight and height, and we do feel a need to exercise and diet to keep our bodies that way, for us this is for health reasons. We would never feel any prejudice against you because of weight or size of penis or size of breast or age either...and since you've been married 28 years, you're not in your 20s any more either..

A small breast or a small penis can be very beautiful and erotic.

If size ever matters, it matters only between your ears. If you can carry on a conversation and have ability to smile and be friendly, we feel from our own experiences, you will do just fine.

Joseph and Kelly.